NFL LOW DOWN WEEK 17

• Another December another Cowboys loss what's new. If your not sure of the temperature outside check to see how the Cowboys played and it will let you know how you need to dress for the day. 12 years of this shit. This is some Baltimore Oriole shit going on here with the losing. Chan Gailey, Dave Campo, Barry Switzer, Bill Parcells, and Wade Phillips. One Big Ass Tuna and Four Dumb Ass Buffoons. Same results no playoff wins in 12 years.


• I'm not going to talk about X's and O's yet. I'm going to tackle the issue of heart and character. You either have it or you don't and you can't fake it, because it will show. Remember in Baby Boy when Jodie and his partner were beating down the fools that stole his ALAZE. They banged the shit out of everyone except for the last dude, because he didn't flinch when they went to hit him. All of his partners were on the ground crying and he knew he was going to get fucked up , but he stood tall because he had heart. It didn't stop his from getting his ass beat with a belt, but he earned points because he didn't back down because things weren't looking good for him. I look at this Cowboy team and I see know heart or character. Who the fuck is the emotional leader? This is football not the fucking debate team. Any organization lacking leadership is doomed to fail from the start. That mutherfucking bitchass Tony Romo was quoted as saying " It's not the end of the world. It's a sporting event. If this is the worst thing that's going to happen to me I have lived a good life". Man shut the fuck up. Even former Olympic figure skater Scott Hamilton called you a Bitch and said you need to grow a pair. Where is Troy Aikman when I need you?.When the so called leader of mine team sounds like an extra on Queer Eye For The Straight Guy you know there is a problem. No disrespect to Homo nation or whatever the fuck your calling yourselves now a days. If Peyton Manning had played the way Romo has played for the last month, he would have gave back his salary and issued an apology for his terrible play. This would never have happened to Tom Brady. This is the same mutherfucker that headbutts his lineman when they block for his ass. Hell with emotion like that I want to block for his ass too. Romo and that aw shucks, golly gee wilbur attitude with that shit eating grin on his face needs to become a leader and tell everyone on that team to shut the fuck up and play. The only person who argues with a Franchise QB is a misinformed bastard like T.O. who believes his needs are above the crews. Like Adrian told Rocky when he wanted to fight the Russian "YOU CAN'T WIN." No player on a team would dare go after his starting QB, because just like fucking the bosses daughter it can lead to early unemployment. Memo To Homo I Mean Romo: Study tapes of Manning and Brady not Eli and get tougher. Rent a copy of Boyz n the Hood and goddammitt grow some facial hair. Do whatever it takes to lead this team and hopefully you will earn yourself some street cred along the way.


• Did you see Derrick Mason against us last week. He knew how big the game was and no matter what he was not going to let a little thing like playing with one arm stop him. That's playing with heart, character and a sense of urgency. Derrick Mason leads by example and the Ravens Defense respects him emensely. There is no greater compliment that I can give a player than that.


• The definition of the word Character-The combination of qualities or features that distinguishes one person,group, or thing from another. The Cowboys have plenty of character, just not the type you would want on your football team when it has no real leadership. The Bulls won with Dennis Rodman , because Michael Jordan and Scottie Pippen kept his ass in line. Do whatever you want off the court( dress up like a bitch, fuck Carmen Electra, even wrestle for WCW), but don't fuck our money up on the court. Rodman knew where the power lied and he conformed. Where as in San Antonio a team with no real leader, but a bunch of good guys(David Robinson and Sean Elliot) he acted like a Buffoon and showed his ass off. That's how T.O. is with us. Because we have no leadership, he acts like a buffoon on and off the field and he gets away with it. Jerry Jones is like Spawn. He must have made a deal with the devil when the Boys won 3 Super Bowls in 4 years, because he signs every ass clown, Buffoon, murderer, jay walker, and malcontent he can get his hands on. T.O.,PACMAN JONES, AND TANK JOHNSON were sopped up like gravy with a biscuit as soon as they were out of work. Outside of Making It Rain 101, and How to Avoid Jail Time When You Committ a Felony what the fuck do Pacman and Tank Johnson bring to the table. What the fuck is Tank's real name? His mother didn't name him that shit. They bring nothing to that fragile ass lockeroom and I'm apalled at the lengths Jerry will go to try and win. That lockeroom is filled with overpaid mutherfuckers who are being led around by T.O. and can't think for themselves. There is nothing wrong with giving someone a second chance as long as there is a support system around them and they realize that they get no more chances.


• Right now the only players I would keep are Demarcus Ware, Barber, Jones, Chioce, Whitten,Creyton,Ratliff, James, Roy Williams(safety),N. Folk, McBriar. That's it. A LB, 3 RB'S,TE,WR,MLB,S,K, and P. Everyone else can go to Hell.


• Fire Wade Phillips and make him the defensive coordinator. Bring in Bill Cowher. Can you imagine if Flozell Adams jumped offside on 3rd and inches? Cowher would grab his facemask and let his ass have it and you know spit would be flying all in his face, because that's how Bill Talks. Then for the next five minutes he would have that growl on his face and Flozell wouldn't dare jump offsides again. This team needs discipline and leadership from their head coach and I know Bill Cowher is to intelligent to come here and coach for an owner that can't shut the fuck up. Also Jason Garrett should have taken the Ravens job, because he has been getting called out lately. T.O. and now Romo has questioned the gameplan and playcalling done by yourself. Funny I never here Big Ben calling out his offensive coordinator. Peyton never calls his coordinator out after a bad game neither, but then again he would be calling out himself. The bottom line is and this is the Damnest bottom line that I have ever bottomed line. Those who ignore their history are doomed to repeat it. T.O. and Romo are buddies with Jerry Jones and therfore they are above the crew. Remember the Steelers game when Choice and the D played their asses off and Romo sucked. Who got criticized? Remember the Ravens game same scenerio. Who got criticzed and who didn't? When Romo fucks up repeatedly and Jones says nothing about him. T.O. calls out everyone including the ball boy and doesn't get reprimanded for it. Look at Bellicheck wrong and that's your ass. Robert Craft New England Pat's owner doesn't call up Matt Cassell and say if Randy was giving more effort we would have won. Robert doesn't call Brady a bitch for not playing with his injury, but that's the type of ownership I have in Texas. A GODDAMN SHAME.


• Now onto the game. 44-6 in a game with your season on the line. Didn't the Deadskins hold the Eagles to 3 points last week in a similiar situation. Terrence Newman said the Cowboys are the most talented team in Football. See it's that type of over inflated dumbass thinking that has the Boys in trouble now. Just because you go to the Pro Bowl, doesn't mean your great. I talk to Bill Parcells this morning and I reminded him of something he said three years ago. He told the world be careful of annointing Romo as the next and he also warned us that there would be days like this. Romo has used up his benefit of the doubt collaterall with me after blaiming his turnovers on poor protection and a whack ass scheme. Not his inaccurate ass throwing. Did you see Benedict Reid leading the the Fans in singing the Eagles fight song.? Bradie James got into an altercation with a fan yesterday, because the fan had a sign that said Cowboys have no heart and Wade Phillpis is an embarrasement to the Star. First of all the fan was not lying. Second he should have went after the The Eagles and his teamates with that type of agression. We might have played better and looked like we gave a fuck. Tell Pacman just go out of bounds when 10 guys surround you on a punt, all the shucking and jiving in the world won't free you up stupid. 5 turnovers. Whatever happened to protecting the ball? One last thing what the fuck did we kick a field goal in the 4th quarter down 41 points for. Was it a momentum thing to get us back in the game. I know I would feel better if I was down by only 38 compared to 41.


• I heard Big Ben got fucked up and suffered a concussion. I know people at home are saying why can't that be Hines Ward.


• Indy Colts 12-4. Peyton Manning is my MVP. This is the only team capable of beating the Ravens. Could another Super Bowl be in their future. Don't bet against the real Manning, I wouldn't.


• I really wanted Brett to make the Playoffs and shove it in the Packers face. In a private moment he shared with me last night he said he made have thrown his last pass in the NFL. We have heard this from Brett before, but this time he seemed at peace with himself. Anyway the NFL will never be the same without the original Gun slinger from the Bay.


• From Worst to First. No one saw this shit coming. The Tuna is no joke. They called him a fool for getting rid of Jason Taylor. Second guessed him for his choice of head coaches and for getting limped armed Chad Pennington as his starting QB. 11-5 and a date with the Ravens is his gift for this suprised turn around. When asked about Ray Lewis The Tuna replied he would look awfully good running this D. Don't be suprised if the Dolphins go after Ray hard and make him an offer he can't refuse. What Hurricane can turn down playing in Miami for the right price? That's like Kanye West actually hitting a note. It's not going to happen.


• The Giants might actually repeat. Ain't that some shit and without Plaxico. With that D and a healthy Jacobs don't bet against it. If the dfensive coordinator for the Giants doesn't get any job offers in the offseason, I will be pissed. Get his ass away from them.


• If Brian Billick can get fired then so can John Grudden. 9-4 leading your division and then you loose 3 straight games and your D falls apart. Is anyone calling for his head. I guess that's what happens when you coach in Tampa Bay instead of New york, Dallas or Philly. What does Tampa do well anyway?


• As much as I admire McNabb. I hate Bennedict Reid and those Eagles. You will probably win, But I hope your team gets fucked up Rafiq.


• I am now officially rooting for the Ravens in the playoffs. Deal with it mutherfuckers. That D is without a doubt top notch and the offense is producing.


• Norv Turner and the Chargers have heart. 4-8 and you win 4 straight and make the playoffs after all that scrutiny. That's impressive. But what else would you expect from a Jimmy Johnson disciple. Except for the ring who has been the better QB Eli or Rivers. I know that's like saying except for her face who is better looking Hale Berry or Esther Rolle(FLORIDA EVANS FROM GOOD TIMES). I'm just saying Phillip Rivers put up some impressive numbers this year and unlike Eli he can actually carry his team. LT has not performed at all this year and his his best years are probably behind him.


• How do you go 11-5 not make the playoffs and do your best coaching job of your career coming off an undefeated season. Ask Bill Bellicheck the best coach in all of sports. That's right I said it. His team is always focused and prepared and they never make excuses. They loose argubly the best QB in the game and continue to play well. The Boys loose their QB for a few weeks and all hell breaks loose. When Cassell struggled no one said shit. Brad Johnson Struggled and his own coach was counting down the days until Romo came back. In Bellicheck system No one man is above the crew. AMEN


• I was exchanging text messages with Marshall Faulk when he let it slip that he wouldn't mind coaching the Rams. I told him to stick to his day job, but this is something that he has been thinking about for a while. Working with the NFL Network gives him access to film on everyone and much like Triple H he has become a student of the game. A modern day Cerebral Assassin so to speak. Don't count him out when the Rams begin thier pusuit for a headcoach, but word to the wise Kurt Warner and Isaac Bruce ain't there brother. Don't do it.


• Thank You Detroit for making history. 0-16 . The Greek Philospher Socrates once told me IT IS BETTER TO HAVE LOSS ALL OF YOUR GAMES THAN TO HAVE JUST LOSS ONE. Losing builds no character.


• You heard it hear first. There is a good chance that all four road wildcard teams will win this weekend. Atlanta,Baltimore, Philly and the Colts.


• The High Five or should I say The Elite Eight:


• 1)NY GIANTS 12-4 THE GMEN KNOW WHAT IT TAKES TO WIN IT ALL


• 2)TENNESSEE TITANS 13-3 CAN KERRY COLLINS LEAD THIS YOUNG BUT TALENTED BUNCH


• 3)INDY COLTS 12-4 PEYTON MANNING NUFF SAID


• 4)BALTIMORE RAVENS 11-5 WHEN KNOW THEY HAVE D BUT WHERE THE HELL DID THAT O COME FROM. THAT'S SOME SCARY SHIT


• 5)CAROLINA PANTHERS 11-5 CONSISTANTLY GOOD ON BOTH SIDES, BUT I DONT TRUST THE QB


• 6)PITTSBURGH STEELERS 12-4 HAVE TO GET THAT SWAGGER BACK. NO DOUBT THE TOWELS WILL BE OUT


• 7)ATLANTA FALCONS 11-5 ROOKIE QB AND I STILL LIKE THEM


• 8)MIAMI DOLPHINS 11-5 DO YOU BELIEVE IN THE TUNA


• Coach of the Year Tony Sporano


• MVP Peyton Manning


• Defensive Player of the Year Ed Reed


• Rookie of the Year Matt Ryan


• Offensive Player of the year Drew Brees


• Buffoon of the Week:


• Jason Richardson for leaving your man wide open for the game winning three to double Tony Parker who obviously didn't want to shoot. The look on the Daddy's Face after the game was over was priceless. The Daddy is Shaq to yall clueless mutherfuckers.


• The Real Buffoon is two time nominee and future Hall of Famer Jerry Jones. This mutherfucker had the audacity to say the coaching staff will remain intact and there will be know real changes. Hey Sam what do they put in the drinking water down there, because this mutherfucker is dillusional. Either he is in denial or he is smoking that pure 100% uncut Columbian shit. 9-7 and and that fucked Eagles squad makes the playoffs over you with probably half your payroll. Your a BUFFOON for having a brand new stadium that costs 1.5 billion dollars and putting that whack ass product out there to play in it. I guess your selling point will be come out and see the Cowboys it can't get any worse. or at least were not the Orioles. I know that's low. Send in your nominees for Buffoon of the week. I will let you have a say next week.

NFL LOW DOWN WEEK 16

• First let me start off by saying Happy Holidays and Merry Xmas to all of you and I hope the new year brings you peace and happiness. To those of you who are not Deadskins fans or Eagles fans I wish your teams the best of luck in the playoffs. Sorry Rafiq, but I hate yall motherfuckers. Especially Andy Benedict Reid. Deadskins fans well you know why I hate your fucking team, so deal with it.


• Now that I got the compliments out of my system on to some real shit the Low Down. By now we have all seen that debacle in which the Ravens embarrassed my Boys and officially shut down Texas Stadium. The effort the Cowboys gave was fucking embarrassing and someone should pay for this. Wasn't this game played in prime time, with Prime time himself calling the game. MICHAEL IRVIN,EMMITT SMITH,ROGER STAUBACH,TROY AIKMAN,MOOSE JOHNSTON,NATE NEWTON,RANDY WHITE,TOO TALL JONES,DREW PEARSON,JAMES WASHINGTON,JAY NOVECK,TONY DORSETT, and a host of others were there to celebrate and close out Texas Stadium right. Unfortunately Suger Ray, Ed Reed, and Terrell Suggs didn't get the script and they fucked up our homecoming of sorts. The D played well for 56 minutes and then they gave up the two biggest runs by visitors in Texas Stadium history. Memo to the D. If you want the respect that the Ravens get stop fucking jumping offsides every third down and make a play at the end when it counts. One more stop and we had a chance to win that game.


• I blame you Tony Romo for this loss and the season that could have been. I'm tired of defending your ass, because your making me look like Anonymous ,stupid as shit. I told my boy Brad Piff this a while ago. Tony Romo is in the early stages of becoming a crack head, but not in the way you are thinking. Have you ever seen a mother on crack raising a family? She has all the best intentions in the world and she actually loves her children, but she loves that glass dick too and that keeps her from being the best mom that she could possibly be. She says all the right things and promises to change her ways, but nothing changes and when you really need her you can't count on her. That's Tony Romo. Can you imagine Tom Brady,Peyton Manning,Jason Campbell, or Kyle Bowler admitting they weren't prepared and couldn't figure out what the Ravens were doing. (JASON CAMPBELL AND KYLE BOWLER THAT WAS A JOKE)That's what the leader of the Boy's said on National TV. What the fuck does he do all week? Play old 98 degrees Cd's and asked Jessica did Nick ever hit it like this. From a leader this is unforgivable and this why they say when December comes and the game is on the line Romo will fold up like a cheap suit. He over threw or under threw receivers all day and looked clueless while facing the number two ranked defense in football. Sound exactly like the way he played against the Steelers doesn't it. Sensing a pattern yet. Romo puts up nice numbers, but he is not a winner. Until he acts like a leader and plays well down the stretch in my book he will always be POOKIE to me. HAVING THE BEST INTENTIONS, BUT ALWAYS LETTING HIS TEAM DOWN. I can hear him now "Yo Romeo that shit be calling me man, It be calling me. G-MONEY saying"You high ! I ain't no fucking fool, you 5-0. Kill this motherfucker. Yo Romeo come get me!


• I have a couple of problems with Wade Phillips. Harbough had his team pumped and they pulled out all the stops including a fake field goal run and the most shocking thing a What you talking about Willis McGahee sighting. I thought the Ravens were the home team and we had already clinched home field advantage by the way we were playing. No emotion, No sense of urgency, No execution, that is on the head coach. Can you imagine a Jimmy Johnson led team playing that way? Hell no. Too many times this year this over paid team has underperformed and guess what Wade Phillips it's your fault. How many times are you going to allow Romo to be looking one way and the ball gets snapped and it's like ol shit he just hiked it to me. Or it's 3rd and 5 and Flozell has a false start and it becomes 3rd and 10. You get the picture. Wade you are supposed to set the tone for your team. Bellicheck wouldn't put up with this shit, but then again he has rings and you don't. To paraphrase Romo there is always next year. Wrong dumb ass Garrett is waiting to take your job and you are giving Jerry the ammo to fire your bitch ass.
• Jerry Jones what the fuck are you doing? You have an open door policy with your players. No wonder they do what they want to do. You allow that shit. You enable this I am above the crew attitude. This is how you divide a locker room. I think you love drama, because your the same motherfucker calling out The Barbarian and questioning his manhood. Let your coaches do their job and concentrate on business. What the fuck was Romo doing telling you he wasn't prepared for The Ravens game. He should be talking too Garrett or Phillips not you. Would you tell your ex girlfriend that your woman needs help sucking dick and then expect that shit too change. Hell no we call that Andy Reidism. Laying blame elsewhere instead of working the situation out properly. Memo to Jerry stay out of grown folks business and let your personnel do their jobs.


• Can anyone tell me why we signed Roy Williams? Next to Todd Heap he is the most expensive decoy in the league. 6'5-225 and we don't even throw him a jump ball. He could have made history and stayed in Detroit for all of this. BULLSHIT


• I have to apologize to Titans fans for doubting your team after that ass whupping your team gave the Steelers . I especially enjoyed Mr. White for dancing on the terrible towel. Payback is a bitch Omarr Epps ain't it.


• I guess the karma Gods are looking out for the Chargers. Beat the Broncos and the division is yours. After all the injuries and last second losses Norv may actually get to keep his job.
Fuck this up and I turn my back on you.

• Hey Lions Man down. Go out there and don't handle your business. Just remember don't change a thing continue playing uninspired ball.Turn down your intensity out there and don't have fun. I'm counting on you to do the wrong thing and just give up. GIMMIE 0-16.


• Hey Packer fans it could be worse you could still have Brett and be playing for the division title. Hope that Aaron Rogers thing works out for you guys.


• I said a couple of weeks ago I thought the Tampa Bay Bucs were most overrated team in the league and look at them now. One more loss and they are out of the playoffs. That's why you play to win the game. Losing to my Boys when Brad Johnson was the QB, should have cost you your job. If you don't make the playoffs think about that shit all offseason. That shit could lead to drinking or smoking that stuff . Be careful Gruden.


• Once again Joe Flacco and Matt Ryan look they were bred to play QB. Drug test these motherfuckers please they can't be rookies.


• Peyton is my pick for MVP. His team is 11-4 and no one talks about them. That's the ultimate sign of respect. That type of record is expected of the Colts and that's because of Peyton. Peyton called me the other day and apologized for cancelling our interview segment. Tony Dungy gave them two days off, but he needed to study film of the seniors that are coming out in the draft to prepare for them next year. He also planned on looking at every single throw he has made this year so that he can see if he gives away the fact that he is throwing the ball because of his arm actually moving forward and the ball leaving it.


• Never knew Brandon Jacobs was the end all, but the Giants have no mojo without him. They are going to be tough to beat with home field advantage, but someone will. I can't have these motherfuckers repeating at any costs. Someone do my bidding for me. Remember Eli you are no Archie and you damn sure are not Peyton. By the way what is Plaxico doing while he is on vacation. Probably asking PacMan what does a black man with money, fame, and fortune do right after getting in trouble with the law. MAKE IT RAIN BABY!
• Do you think Brett Favre has been a success in New York? I do he single handily made Jets Ball relevant again. Without him THE MANGENIUS Eric Mangini would have been criticized all year and blamed for the Jets failures. He improved one franchise and destroyed another one.
• Memo to Romo stop impersonating Brett. As goods as Brett is he only got one ring, because he was a little too reckless. You have too many weapons to be fucking my money up all the time.
• Herm Edwards just resign and go into broadcasting, because it is going to end ugly. If not for the Lions we would be talking about your asses. By the way here is a trivia question. For a million dollars and you have one minute: Name the Chiefs starting QB,HB, AND THEIR TWO WR'S!
• Sources tell me the Browns are looking at dumping Phil Savage and Romeo Cremell for Bill Cowher if he wants total control. I texted Bill this morning and he said he has never been happier. He has enjoyed the time he gets to spend with his family and it has to be the perfect situation for him to return to the sidelines. I don't think he really wants to coach against the Steelers twice a year, because he really respects the Rooney family.
• Look for the Niners to keep Mike Singletary as head coach for at least another season. He has brought back respect and dignity to the 49ers organization and a formal announcement could come as soon as the season is over.
• Where will Matt Cassell end up next year? While in Boston attending a New Kids On The Block concert I bumped into him and asked him about his future. He wants to return to the Pats , but his stock will never be any higher than it is right now. Did you know that he backed up Carson Palmer and Matt Leinhert at USC and that he never started a single game in college. He credits Pete Carroll for his maturation and for helping him prepare every week as if he was the starter. He said it is a joy backing up Brady, but when he saw the contact Teixeira signed with the Yankees he started daydreaming about what it would be like to be a full time starting QB in the NFL. I wished him the best and he promised to call me when he finally makes his decision.
• Buffoon of The Week:
• All you dumb ass motherfuckers who actually believed we had a shot at signing Mark Teixeira. As long as the Yankees exist no player is exempt from signing with them. This just in the Yankees have offered Lebron James 500 million dollars just because they can. Mark Teixeira and his agent played you all and you let them. He said he wanted to come home and you believed him. That just drove the price up and he used the Orioles as leverage. He never wanted to come to Baltimore. Would you? Let's see AROD,JETER,GIAMBI,PESADA,C.C, and the Orioles counter with you know The Wire was filmed here right. Why won't you come here and save us from two decades of losing and put asses in the seats. That's only like asking you to walk on water, or find a cure for aids. For that reason and that reason alone you are all buffoons.
• The High Five:
• 1)TENNESSEE TITANS 13-2: Showed the world why they shouldn't be slept on.
• 2)NY GIANTS 12-3: Road to the Super Bowl goes through The Meadow lands
• 3)INDY COLTS 11-4: Battle tested and time proven. Like a Duracell battery.
• 4)PITTSBURGH STEELERS 11-4: Is luck running out on the Steelers
• 5) CAROLINA PANTHERS 11-4: One more loss and you are a 5th seed
• GAME BALLS: P. MANNING, D. BREES, C. PENNINGTON, C. BENSON, M. CASSELL, P. RIVERS, C. WARD, W. MCGAHEE, L. MCCLAIN
• Don't blame Donavan for that loss to the Dead skins. His receivers dropped passes all day and he deserved a better outcome. Get out of Philly while you can. You say you want to come back. Your like a Battered house wife that is afraid to leave her husband. She has beaten on for so long she doesn't feel like she deserves better. That's you Donovan they blame you for everything and they want you out. Leave and never come back.
• I'M OUT LIKE EVERY TEAM NOT NAMED THE YANKEES!

WHAT A WAY TO GO OUT THANKS BOYZ

• I'm sitting here thinking about how my Boys went out like Bitches in front of all of America and all I can say is How Bout Them Cowboys! Unlike the rest of y'all bandwagon jumping Motherfuckers and fair weather fans I stay loyal to my team win loose or draw. No I'M NOT GOING GO SMOKE SOME CRACK, OR RUN AWAY AND HIDE, OR GO GET WASTED. I'm going to act like Pete Rock and C.L. Smooth and reminisce about my memories of Texas Stadium and the Hole in the Roof.
• First let me congratulate the Ravens on that ASS WHUPPING! I can't bring myself to hate the Ravens, because I have love for the baddest Motherfucking Middle linebacker walking the planet.(Sugar Ray Lewis)I have to admit that his comment about shutting this Bitch down and now you can cut the motherfucking lights out was hilarious. I almost choked with laughter while he was saying that shit. Even with us fucking Flacco up the Ravens did what they had to do to win. That other bastard from the U though, I will forever hate your ass and that would be What You Talking Bout Willis McGahee. Your punk ass did nothing all year and you pick tonight of all nights to do it. Fuck you. Harbaugh I tip my hat to you, because you pulled out all of the stops and you were aggressive and you deserved to win the game . That fake field goal was brilliant and your team played with passion. Ed Reed with his two picks was just being Ed Reed and Suggs was all over the place. His stats don't tell how well he played, because he was a force all night.
• I could sit here and talk about the three touchdowns we would have had if Aikman was still my QB, BUT I will save that for the Low Down. I'M GOING TO UNLEASH MY VENOM ON MY TEAM LIKE PENNY'S MOTHER ON GOOD TIMES DID TO HER. I'M GOING TO CALL THEM OUT FOR THE FRAUDS THAT THEY ARE LIKE AN ALL WHITE JURY AT THE O.J. TRIAL.
• The Cowboys franchise deserved better than this and I feel for the former greats who had to stomach this whack ass performance. There will never be another stadium like Texas stadium. This is the end of an era and I wish they didn't have to close that building. One more time I wish I could here Pat Summerall say welcome to Texas Stadium home of the hole roof where you will see the Dallas Cowboys taking on ____you can fill in the blank. I wonder if the new stadium will have a hole in the roof so that God can look at his favorite team.
• I'm out like Ken Hamlin on that stiff arm from McClain.

NFL LOW DOWN WEEK 15

• Let's start off this edition of the Low Down with some Raven's talk. If I wanted to hear about irrefutable or circumstantial evidence, I would look at motherfucking Judge Judy or Court TV or some shit. Luckily I look at CSI(I KNOW THERE ARE ABOUT 20 OF THOSE FUCKING SHOWS) and Law and Order and I know about that litigation shit. By now you have all seen the play and have drawn your own conclusions about whether or not that was a touchdown or not. According to the Law of the Land a touchdown occurs when the nose of the ball breaks the plane not any part of the players body, but the nose of the ball. This is where things get a little dicey, so a good friend of mine Maybell recommended that I call Harold Katz for a legal explanation on how Instant Replay works. According to Harold once an official makes a call on the field it is official. The official on the field ruled no touchdown. The booth(I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU BUT I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW WHO THE FUCK THEY ARE) over turned the call. Harold also pointed out that unless there is overwhelming evidence that supports over turning the decision on the field the play stands. Now I ask all of you did you see enough evidence to support changing the call on the field. NO YOU DIDN'T .NOW GET OUT OF MY COURT ROOM YOU DOPE FENE YOUR A USER YOUR A USER. I'VE SEEN YOUR KIND COME IN MY COURT ROOM BEFORE. LYING , FORNICATING, MAKING SHIT UP. DAMN SORRY ABOUT THAT I JUST HAD A JUDGE MATHIS MOMENT. Why the play got over turned we will all speculate, but I know one thing it was the wrong damn call. This is why Raven fans believe the league is out to get them. INSTANT REPLAY WAS DESIGNED TO GET THE CALL RIGHT. DO YOUR JOB MOTHERFUCKERS!
• Now on to some real shit. You do not let a team that you have shut down all day drive 92 yards on your ass. Blame Coach Ryan and those corners for giving Steeler receivers 15 yard cushions. I don't why defensive coordinators switch up their game plans in the last minutes of a game. Fear must set in. I don't mind you rushing three lineman, but you could have still played bump and run with those other eight defenders you had. Playing with scarred money never get's you anywhere. A wise man once told me he would rather die instantly from a long bomb being thrown, than that AL B. SURE killing me softly shit slowly making your way down field. Raven's fans if your team does not make the playoffs you are going to look back on the Titans game and the Steelers game as either they stole them from us or we blew it.
• I told you guys about Eli back in week 5. Without Darius Miles big brother the Bronx Buffoon Plaxico Burress and that freak of nature Brandon Jacobs Eli is limited in what he brings to the table. What are his strengths, because I damn sure know his weaknesses? You are a Manning in name only. The only difference between you and Kyle Bowler is that you don't trip over your own fucking feet when your dropping back to throw. You making the Pro Bowl is a joke, but then again Kanye Tuda thinks he can actually sing.
• The D stepped it up again and Eli paid the price. This was the type of play I was expecting all year. In case you haven't noticed the difference lately in the defense, Wade Phillips is calling the plays. This was the attacking style of Defense I expected when he was hired. Next on the hit list Joe Flacco.
• When are you motherfuckers going to leave T.O. alone. I don't agree with everything he has done, but is he any different than Keyshawn" just gimme the damn ball "Johnson, or The Playmaker" Michael Irvin, or Randy I give 100% when I feel like it Moss. Any wide receiver with an ounce of talent wants the ball all the fucking time. Even when they are double teamed they still believe they are open. You ever hear Travis Taylor or James Trash I mean Thrash complain about their touches. No because bums don't demand that rock be thrown their way. So what if T.O. is jealous of Jason Whitten, we have all been jealous at some point in time. Imagine if your parents sent your brother to USC and sent your dumb ass to BCCC. How would you feel? T.O. is guilty of acting like a child and that is front page news. Mean while the President had shoes thrown at him and a lot of people didn't even know about it. Remember that guy that shot himself in a club. Yeah forgot already huh. Ask yourself this. Would you love to have T.O. on your team baggage and all? You damn right. END OF GODDAMN DISCUSSION.
• I was thinking about the Deadskins season and how things have turned out for their bitch asses when this thought entered my mind. You sorry ass motherfuckers rolled over for the Bengals last week when you still had playoff possibilities on the table. Remember Jada Pinkett in Set It Off when she was trying to send her brother to college. She had no money and she decided to sleep with Mack from Night Court to make money for her brother's tuition. Remember the look on her face as she laid there getting fucked by that 50 year old degenerate. The look said I give up fuck it, just take me and get it over with. Deadskin fans, Daniel Snyder that's what type of effort and pride comes with putting on that nasty ass burgundy gear. All that money for those over priced season tickets and the Deadskins put out as much effort as a West Wood Ave HO. Couldn't happen to a better franchise. Enjoy the draft motherfuckers.
• Don't look now but the Colts are 10-4 after starting off slowly and no one is talking about them. Peyton wouldn' t have it any other way. I talked to him recently about his maturation and how his game has evolved and changed over the years.
• IGROMO: You guys started off slow, but have picked things up. What has been the biggest factor in your turn around.
• PEYTON: First let me say it's an honor to talk to you Mr. Igromo. I am a fan of your work sir.
• IGROMO: You don't have to call me Mr. Igromo Peyton. Mr. Romeo is good enough.
• PEYTON: Fine enough Sir. I think it was just a matter of us getting healthy and adjusting to the changes we implemented on offense. Over the years I have learned to be more patient and take what the defense gives me. Trying not to force the issue as much. We still run the hurry up offense. We just pay attention to detail more.
• IGROMO: When Brady went down did you think things were going to be a lot easier and the road to the Super Bowl would come through Indy?
• PEYTON: Not all. There are a lot of talented football teams including the Bengals and the Chiefs and you can't overlook anybody. I prepare for the Raiders the same way I prepare for the Pats. I watch film to see how often a defender blinks his eyes or to see if his laces are tied a particular way. I can tell you different players favorite colors, what they like for dinner or how often they make whuppy with their partner. It's my job as a QB to be prepared for anything and that's why I study so hard. I notice your cell phone beeped three times even though you have it on vibrate. Am I correct in assuming one of your ladies of the night is trying to get hold of you.
• I will have more of the Peyton interview next week.
• Omarr Epps and Big Ben does it again. Remember it's better to be lucky than good. This team just never gives up. They have so many holes on offense, but they make just enough plays to win. Stat of the week: Big Ben is the highest rated passer in the NFL after receiving contact. That is a painful way to get in the record books. Bottom line is no play with Ben involved is ever over.
• Remember last year it was supposed to be the Pats and the Boys in the Super Bowl. This year it's supposed to be the Gmen and the Titans. After the last couple of weeks. What do you think? Word on the street is the Steelers and the Panthers are the best bet right now.
• I am now convinced that it doesn't matter how you start, but how you finish. The Gmen have shown me the way. The Gmen and The Steelers both won Super Bowls as a wild card team with no home games. They finished strong at the end because all of their games had playoff intensity to them. Once the playoffs started they felt no pressure, because they were used to it. It's still two weeks left, but I see a trend developing. I will share it in two weeks.
• I think the Cardinals are just happy to be in the playoffs. I don't expect anything from them.
• Detroit Lions keep up the good work. Keep your eye on the prize 0-16. PERFECTION
• The Pats can end up 11-5 and not make the playoffs, but Denver and Arizona can end up 8-8 and get in. What a wonderful fucking world we live in.
• MVP: Peyton Manning
• Defensive player of the year: Ed Reed or Demarcus Ware?
• The High Five:
• 1)PITTSBURGH STEELERS 11-3 When will their good luck end?
• 2) INDY COLTS 10-4 On a roll and is their a better leader than Peyton?
• 3)NY GIANTS 11-3 Eli is feeling the heat. Think they need Plax.
• 4)CAROLINA PANTHERS 11-3 I don't believe in Jake Delhome
• 5) TENNESSEE TITANS 11-3 This is the wrong time to start loosing.
• BUFFOON OF THE WEEK:
• You made this too easy and you supplied America with too much ammo. I don't like doing this , but the buffoon of the week is T.O.,but not for the reason you think. I gotta get him for that bitch ass clip everyone won't let me forget about. You crying after we loss last year in the playoffs and saying that's my quarterback. I don't care how much you like Romo , but the sight of your lip quivering and the tears strolling down your face will forever make you look like a Beeeyatch. You know how when you were a kid and you would start crying and sniffing and you had to take deep breaths just to talk. That was T.O. You get no street cred when you boo hoo in front of America and pledge allegiance to another man. No matter how much I defend you, someone will bring that bitch ass scene up and all I can do is shut the fuck up. For this and this alone you are a buffoon.
• The Pro Bowl rosters were announced and all I can say is it should be about your play on the field not about any lifetime achievement award or past accomplishments.
• I will talk more about God's favorite team the Dallas Cowboy's in my next blog. The hole in the roof so that God can watch his favorite team is about to close forever. I will talk about my 10 most memorable moments in Texas stadium.
• I'm out like the Deadskins in 2008.

OUT OF BOUNDS WEEK 14

• On John Thompson's radio show this afternoon Clinton Portis went off on his head coach Jim Zorn for benching him against the Ravens Sunday night. Because of nagging injuries Portis was unable to practice all week and Zorn went with Ledell Betts because he said he was more prepared to play.
• During his chat with John Thompson he sarcastically called Zorn "a genius",suggested that the team "sever ties with him"and pretty much characterized Zorn's offensive game plan as unadulterated chaos .
• Here is some of what he had to say:
• I go out there and give it everything I got. If I can run through the I practice, if I can't then I ain't. And I'm not gonna force myself to go on the field and do something crazy,and then all of a sudden I'm out.What I need to be around for is Sundays and that what I'm trying to be around for.So I mean if you have a problem with me not practicing and can't do it that way,maybe you feel like you need to sever ties,split ties with me? Split ties with me.But don't sit here and throw me out like I don't pay attention, like I don't know what's going on,like I'm making mistakes, I'm the problem. You know, so it is, what it is.
• Here is my take. Zorn like most of these new jack coaches need s someone to blame and take the heat off when their schemes don't work. You benched your MVP, because the Ravens were shutting your bitch asses down. It had nothing to do with that whack ass system of yours or the fact you were playing against one of the best defenses known to mankind. The benching of Portis takes the heat off you. You probably got your tatics from that Judas Andy Reid. Practice were talking about practice. Not the real game practice. I don't like Portis, but he is talented. Ship him out like Boston did Manny so that your team can suck even more. Zorn you are the genius. You know regardless of who you are playing. If you draw it up they should execute it. When all else fails change the motherfucking players, because the head coach don't make mistakes. Once again fans and the media are going to concentrate on what Portis said about his benching instead of the ass whupping the Ravens put on the Deadskins.
• I'm out like Joe Gibbs.

NFL LOW DOWN WEEK 14

• "FUCK YOU, FUCK THEM, AND FUCK EVERYBODY THAT GOT A PROBLEM WITH MIKE LOWERY". I meant Tony Romo, but you get the message. I was having a Bad Boys flash back. Another December another late sesaon loss for the Cowboys in a game that meant everything to them. Two years ago we loose to the Seahawks in the opening round of the playoffs. Last year we loose to the Giants in the opening round of the playoffs. Then on Sunday with the season on the line we loose to the Steelers. You know what those games all have in common. They all ended with Romo fucking up.(mishandling a fieldgoal snap,and two interceptions is how those games ended) I'm getting sick and tired of this shit. Romo with the game on the line is about as clutch as A-ROD's playoff performances with the Yankees. 13 to motherfucking 3 going into the 4th quarter and you loose. The defense played great(that goaline stance was awesome) and handled their business all day. I will point no fingers at them, but Romo and those high priced bastards on offense did nothing all day. Romo look like Brad Johnson on Sunday. On that last interception Jason Whitten said it was his fault, because he slipped and ran the wrong route. Two things Jason, Great teamates take the blame for mistakes. Great players don't make those mistakes. The second thing is unless Whitten increased his vertical by 40 inches or all of a sudden grew 8 inches he was not catching that ball. The funny thing is all of Romo's picks look the same. He hit all of the Steelers defensive backs right between the numbers and right on stride. He was more accurate on passes to them than he was to his own teamates. Fuck you and the horse you rode in on Tony. I don't want your apology Romo, start winning Bitch. It is up to you to show America that Jessica Simpson is not a distraction and that Jerry Jones was correct in paying you all that money. The difference between Big Ben and you is that Super Bowl ring he has and the trust that he won't fuck up in crunch time. Your stats were the same except for your turnovers. He got sacked five times and harrased all day and he still found a way to not turn the ball over. Big Ben clutch. Romo a tease.Trusting Tony Romo to come through in the 4th quarter is like Gilligan, the Skipper, and Marry Ann expecting to get off that goddamn god forsaken island.Know matter who visited or ended up on that island you knew that for some reason they weren't going anywhere. Romo with the game on the line is like R.Kelly around 16 year olds, it's like Michael Jackson hosting a sleepover or Bobby Brown getting back with New Edition,the intentions are good, but you know it can only end up badly. One more thing I told you nothing positive can come from having that Bitch Ass PACMAN JONES on your team. Call it Karma call it what you want, but having a world class buffoon on your team can't be good.
• The Ravens fucked up the Deadskins with a ferocious D and timely offensive play. The more physical team one. The Ravens Defense set the tone early and the Offense finished them off. Rogers should have did a McAllister and held Mason so he would not have scored after being burned so badly. I have to disagree with Bradd Piff about comparing Ed Reed to PrimeTime.(Deon Sanders) I think Ed Reed is the first Ed Reed not a Deon clone. But if you want to compare players I think Ed Reed is more like Rod Woodson. Both were ball hogs, who occassionly get burned. Plus both of those guys were more physical than PrimeTime ever was. Deon took away a whole side of the field and he went games without seeing any action. I don't think we will ever see a corner with that type of impact on a game.
• I think not having Plaxico is going to hurt the Giants. The Eagles played physical coverage on the wideouts and stacked the box. Plaxico commands a double and frees up running lanes for their running game. It will be real interesting to see how they are going to do in the next couple of games without him. Sources tell me Brandon Jacobs may also be out of next weeks game against the Cowboys. Take it from me injuries and distractions can fuck a team up. If any team can deal with losses the Giants are one of them. Time to step it up Eli.
• The Eagles played well, Bitch Ass Andy Reid actually called running plays and Donovan played smart. When these things happen the Eagles are tough to beat. I still don't trust that bitch ass Andy Reid. Wait until the Eagles loose again he will abandon Donovan quicker than Starscream did Megatron.
• The Miami Dolphins are a perfect example of the any given sunday syndrome. Experts pick them to finish last and laughed when the Tuna chose ex Cowboy offensive line coach Tony Sparano not Soprano mutherfuckers as his head coach. Tuna called Jason Taylor a bitch for being on Dancing With the Stars and not practicing with his team. Then shipped his ass to the Deadskins for a sub and a bag of chips. Remember the Dolphins were last years version of the Lions bad and unwatchable. The Dolphins are 8-5 and tied for first with the Jets and the Pats and threatening to not only make the playoffs , but host a playoff game. I talked to former Cowboy TE Anthony Fasano this morning and he told me that it starts with practice and attention to detail. Fasano emphasized the four minute offense and not giving the ball back to the defense. The coaches preach for every player to win the little battle that will win games. The Dolphins are not the most talented team , but they play together and believe in their system. Fasano also told me that Chad Peninngton who they picked up from the unemployment line has been the ultimate leader and the model of effiency. We voted him team captain after he was here for a few weeks and that is all you need to know. Tyler Perry couldn't have written better shit than this worst to first shit.
• The Panthers exposed the Bucs and man handled them Monday night. They ran for over 300 yards and somewhere you know Jerome Bettis,Earl Campbell, and John Riggins are smiling. That's old fashion John Madden smash mouth 3 yards and a cloud of dust football. With that D , a running game, and Steve Smith only Jake Delhome can fuck this up. After the Game a bitch ass Jeff Garcia told me as long as Jake doen't turn the ball over and they play like this they can beat anyone. The Panthers look like they are poised for a long playoff run.
• Omarr Epps and the Steelers did it again. I will give credit where credit is due, but I didn't appreciate the chest bump Big Ben and Omarr Epps gave each other after that interception. You bitches will get payback one day.
• Memo to the Detroit Lions lay down and loose out. I want to see you guys go 0-16. If at first you don't suceed just stop trying. It is better to have never tried than to have ever tried at all. Everyone loves a looser. Last but not least don't go out there and give it all you got. Post that shit on your locker and use it as inspiration.
• In two weeks the Jets went from contenders to pretenders. I tried to annoint them as the Chosen One. In the famous words of Mario Van Peebles I gambled on a crack head and loss.(New Jack City)
• I hope Wade Phillips has a resume on CareerBuilder.com, because when the season is over he will be unemployed.
• Can someone do some DNA testing on Matt Ryan and Joe Flacco. They are not rookies. Rookies are supposed to fuck up and cost their teams games not lead them to victory. If the voting for rookie of the year ended today they would finish one two.
• Don't look now, but the Pats just wont go away. They loose players and always manage to find replacements. Teddy Bruschi is out for the year and long time Patriot Junior Seau is back. Wasn't this mutherfucker a Charger for the better part of his carrer. When Shawne Merriman got hurt he didn't return to the Chargers. Does Bellicheck have pictures of Junior walking in the gay pride parade or something. That was probabaly him dancing with Joey Porter and Plaxico Burress Shirtless in the club. Whatever the reason just like Season 25 of the Simpsons Junior is back.
• Oh Shit the Cardinals won their division. A Black President, The Ravens have an offense, Britney is back, OJ is in jail. What's next I know The Orioles win the pennant. Can't a brother dream.
• My sources within the Chargers camp told me that the players secretly miss Marty Shottenheimer and that this is no knock on Norv Turner. Ok mutherfucker. Try Telling your wife that your ex girlfriend knew how how to fuck a lot better and that her dick sucking skills were exquisiute, but this is no knock on you and see what her response is. After you wake up from the frying pan beating that your ass is going to receive your going to wish you could take that comment back. Moral of the story that is a knock on Norv Turner.
• THE HIGH FIVE
• 1)TENNESSEE TITANS 12-1 Two blowouts in the past two games. that's enough to make you number 1
• 2)PITTSBURGH STEELERS 10-3 It is better to be lucky than good
• 3) NY GIANTS 11-2 If any team can bounce back from a loss they will
• 4)CAROLINA PANTHERS 10-3 They have incentive to run the table for a possible #1 seed
• 5)INDY COLTS 9-4 I see them 11-4 after the next two weeks
• GAME BALLS-Matt Schaub,Michael Westbrook,Shaun Hill,DeAngelo Williams, and Antronio Byrant
• MVP:KURT WARNER
• You have waited long enough BUFFOON OF THE WEEK: Jerry Jones Cowboys owner
• You never learn. You have to keep running your mutherfucking mouth. You ran off three legendary coaches and now your talking about a player and his questioning his toughness. You were quoted as saying Marion Barber should have played Sunday despite a dislocated toe and a calf injury. To call Marion the Barbarian soft is like saying Pamela Anderson's breasts are ok , but I prefer more natural breasts like cousin Pam from the Cosby show. You know that shit makes no sense. Instead of critcising Tony Romo and that overpaid offense for it's lack of productivity. He picks on the toughest guy on the team. Asks anyone around the league about who they think is a true warrior and I guarantee you they will say Marion Barber.Even though he has no idea how to draft players this doesn't stop him from doing it. If my wife's appenix is giving her problems. I'm not going to scrub my hands put a mask on and start operating like I'm Doogie Howser. I will leave that to the exprerts. Jerry Jones probably helps out with the gameplan every week which would account for our demise. Do you know the owner of the Giants, how bout the Steelers, the Titans. No you don't because they let football people make football decisions that effect football games. I know you know Al Davis, George Steinberner and Peter Angelos. THREE OF THE BIGGEST BUFFOONS WALIKNG THE PLANET. Jerry Jones would rather loose his way than win somebody elses way. ASS BACKWARDS. He is the man that hangs on to PACMAN JONES after he gets in a fight with the Top flight Security Guards named Craig and DAY DAY that he hired to keep him out of trouble. With his team on a 3 game winning streak and the defense playing better than ever you bring back a Buffoon that could cause a distraction and add nothing to the team. Because of this move you too are a Buffoon Jerry Jones. There are a lot of guys up for parole that can't wait to become Cowboys, because word in the joint is we are looking for some untapped talent.

NFL LOW DOWN WEEK 13

• I am going to start off this week by talking about a hot topic that has everybody up in arms. Why are we subjected to watching the Detroit Lions and there whack ass brand of ball every Thanksgiving? My take is it is tradition for the Lions to host this game and their fans deserve this treat. You may not know this, but back in the early 60's because of poor attendance the Lions owner had to come up with a way to get people to come to the games. He figured I could always spend more money and improve the product on the field. I could actually hold my GM and Head Coach accountable for getting positive results and then maybe the fans will come out. I could actually improve my front office personnel and my scouting dept. Wait what the fuck am I thinking that would actually require us to spend more money, make intelligent decisions and actually care about winning. Naw I will leave that to the Cowboys, Packers, Steelers, and the rest of the NFL that actually care about that shit. I know, how about we play on a day when know one else is playing and that way I can keep my millions and I don't have to worry about winning and that type of shit. We will play on Thanksgiving and charge double the amount, because these motherfuckers can't do nothing else , but eat all day anyway. That's how a Pimp thinks. For that reason alone let Detroit keep their Thanksgiving Day game. It could be worse. We could be subjected to watching Deadskins games.


• Sign of the Apocalypse and Why I no longer gamble? If I told you at the beginning of the season that the Boys and the Pats would not be in the playoffs, but the Ravens, the Cardinals, the Falcons, the Titans, and the Bucs would you would have called me a buffoon. If the season ended today that would be the case.


• Every time I want to anoint the Jets as THE CHOSEN ONE they do some crackhead shit like getting blown out at home by the Broncos. Go figure.


• And while I'm on the Broncos. Is it just me or do the Broncos and the Saints have the same identical problems? Both teams can score on anybody, but neither play any D. They are both capable of scoring 50 one week and 10 the next. Just an observation. This is not the Arena league get some D.


• I see Bitch ass Andy Reid started McNabb this week and the Eagles blew out the Cardinals. I guess you expect us to believe your benching of McNabb was part of your master plan to motivate your team and gice the Cardinals a false sense of security. Yeah right your still a Bitch and I hope McNabb goes somewhere else and you spend the next eight years searching for a QB like the Ravens have.


• Speaking of the Ravens they lead the league in margin of victory. They manufacture points the same way certain restaurants continue to serve food long after they have run out of real meat. They are just creative with that shit. I'm impressed. I figured we would see a BLACK PRESIDENT OF THE US before we would see the Ravens with a decent offense. Also there was a Todd Heap and Mark Clayton sighting on Sunday. Nice to know these guys can do more than just block and be decoys on offense. As long as the Ravens keep winning he can't say anything, but you know" WHAT YOU TALKING ABOUT WILLIS "MCGAHEE is mad as shit about not playing against the Bengals. That's like being on the Harlem Globetrotters and getting no time on the court while they are playing the Washington Generals. Keep your eye on that situation. One more thing you are only as good as your starting QB. Just remember Kyle Bowler when you are anointing Harbaugh as the next great coach you Billick haters.


• I'm not even going to comment on that ass whipping my Boys gave the Seahawks, but can you see the difference of having Romo and Newman there. Imagine if Roy and Felix Jones was there. Some teams like the Steelers rely on their whole team. Others like the Boys depend on their Star players. Two different philosophies same result.


• As much as I dislike the Giants I hate the Deadskins even more. The Deaskins are to pathetic to even comment on. Pause for a second you hear that sound. That was your playoff hopes leaving out the backdoor. Fuck the deadskins and your fans.


• Ravens do my bidding for me and whup that ass. When was the last time the Deadskins came to Bmore to play a game? I know the league can't stand the Ravens, but damn I can't remember ever seeing the Deadskins play here. Beat the Deadskins and put the dirt over their coffin.


• Cowboys and the Steelers. I expect an air display put on and for Romo and Whitten to have a big day. The Steelers are a great team , but the Boys need that game more.


• Hey GreenBay miss Brett Favre yet?


• The Colts are like Jason from Friday the 13th. Do these motherfuckers ever go away? No offensive touchdowns and they still win. What kind of Ravens shit is that? Is Dungy getting advice from Brian Billick on how to manufacture victories.


• Think about this scenerio. Marvin Lewis gets fired. Romeo Crennell gets fired. Brian Billick gets the Browns coaching job and hires Marvin as his defensive coordinator. Ravens fans would not want to see that shit happen would you. My sources tell me Brian is interested in the Lions job. Before you laugh he would be getting total control of the team. Coaching and shopping for the players. That's some Bill Parcells type shit right there.


• What the fuck happened to the Bills? I guess that's why you play the game.


• I need some help with this one. What the fuck do the Bucs do to win games? Who are their play makers and can I get some of that I do believe that I can achieve crack that they must be smoking.


• I know you have been waiting for it. Buffoon of the week: Too easy Plaxico Burress. You and I both know nothing positive happens at 2 in the morning in a club. First of all have you ever heard of a gun holster. You know that shit you actually carry a gun in. You were carrying that shit in your sweatpants like a stick up kid. Whenever you get the urge to take your shirt off and shake your ass on the dance floor with Joey Porter again go hire yourself personal security if you feel threatened by the other male dancers who are in attendance. Hey Jackass do know you could have shot your dick off. Try explaining that shit to a woman when your ready to do the damn thing. The mayor of New York wants to press full charges and send your ass to jail. I say that's not good enough. They should make you become a season ticket holder and make you watch Detroit Lion football, Baltimore Orioles baseball, and Oklahoma City Thunder basketball. That type of shit will scare anyone straight. If I did the same exact thing right now I would be braiding some dudes hair in prison while contemplating how I'm going to master the art of sleeping with my eyes open. You are a fortunate bastard. The Giants should cut your ass and you should be forced to endure a lifetime of catching passes from Kyle Bowler and Brad Johnson. Money, women, fame , fortune that can't touch having the respect of your homeys huh. Homeys over hoes right. Why would you carry an unlicensed gun in New York of all places where there is a no tolerance policy and you could convicted to up to 15 years if found guilty? That's like a white man walking down North and Long or Poplar Grove wearing a t-shirt that says I HATE NIGGERS. Nothing good can come from it. I just got a call from Sprewell and he says he wouldn't have even been that stupid. He said he could actually feed his family with the money your making. Plaxico welcome to the BUFFOON HALL OF FAME. In a side note does anyone other than my boy Wade remember Playmakers on ESPN. They took it off because that shit was too real for their asses. Shooting yourself at 2 in the morning with an unlicensed gun and the club and the hospital covering it up for you. They wouldn't even tell the police what happened sighting some privacy rule. That's some Playmaker shit for your ass.
• THE HIGH FIVE
• 1)NY GIANTS - THE BEST TEAM IN THE NFL HANDS DOWN
• 2)TENNESSEE TITANS - BEATING THE LIONS ACTUALLY RAISED THEIR STOCK
• 3)PITTSBURGH STEELERS - DOING THE MOST WITH THE LEAST
• 4)INDY COLTS - SOMETIMES IT'S BETTER TO BE LUCKY THAN GOOD
• 5) TAMPA BAY BUCS - YOU DON'T DESERVE THIS RANKING
• The BOYS AND THE RAVENS ACTUALLY DESERVE TO BE THERE. THE BOYS BEAT THE BUCS WITHOUT ROMO AND THE RAVENS CAN BEAT ANYONE EXCEPT FOR THE COLTS. THE PANTHERS ARE PROBABLY BETTER THAN THE BUCS.
• FROM MY MAN BUBBY: VICK WILL BE HOME BEFORE PLAXICO. I still can't believe he is doing time for dog fighting.
• MVP: TOM COUGHLIN FOR WINNING GAMES WHEN NO ONE GAVE YOUR TEAM A CHANCE
• GAME BALL: JASON WHITTEN,DEMARCUS WARE,DONAVAN MCNABB,MARK CLAYTON,JAY CUTLER,TONY ROMO,ADRIAN PETERSON AND CHRIS JOHNSON
• I'M OUT LIKE VICK MACKIE AND THE SHIELD

Things That Make You Say HMMMMMM....

• Now that a black man is President of the U.S. who the fuck do we refer to as the MAN and the leader of the coalition to keep the brother man down? AND ON A SIDE NOTE WHAT ARE JESSIE JACKSON AND AL SHARPTON GONNA BITCH ABOUT NOW.hmmmmmm
• Why is that no matter how much fucking money you got in the bank? You still get nervous as shit every time you use your ATM card. You stand there whistling Dixie and shit praying that shit goes through so you don't have to take that long ass walk of shame back to your car and tell the cashier hold that shit for me I will be right back. hmmmmmm
• I recently heard that Screech from Saved By The Bell is fucking stray bitches and selling tapes of that shit. What's next Bud from the Cosby Show on the corner selling that shit? Whitley from a Different World turning tricks and sucking dicks. hmmmmm
• What kind of PACMAN JONES shit we got going here in Baltimore? I heard two teachers got there ass whupped today by their students because one of them had been disciplined earlier. So whip the ass of somebody that's here to help you. What kind of world do we live in? FUCK YOU PACMAN! hmmmmmmm
• Have you seen D.L. Hughley's show on CNN. That shit is terrible. That's why the man(Obama is not in office yet) won't put us on network TV. Flava Flav's sitcom, the Magic Show, Keenan Wayan's Talk show, Wayne Brady Show and Homeboy's From Outer Space are examples of shitty ass television shows, but they should not be held against us in our efforts to be on TV. Oprah you helped Dr. Phil's white ass help a brother out. hmmmmm
• Is just me or does Kanye Titter sound like a broke ass Storm trooper on his new CD. Motherfucker sounds like a Cyclone from Battlestar Galatica and you thought Keith Sweat was whining. Shut the fuck up and give me my hip hop Bitch if I want singing I just get The Jonas Bros or The Naked Boys Band. hmmmmm
• Is putting Baltimore on the front of the jersey enough to get me back down Camden yards. Hell no! It just let's the average person know where that sorry ass team resides at. The Orioles brain trust thinks this type of shit hides the stench of loosing and that I will now gladly give them my money. Motherfucker please. hmmmm
• What the fuck are they putting in that gas. Maybe it's just me but I'm still paying the five for gas. Instead of paying 60 dollars once I'm paying 30 dollars twice just as often. What kind of crackhead shit is this. I heard someone say they are enjoying the gas prices, so go out and get it. Fuck am I suppose to do buy it and store that shit in my freezer. This is some bullshit. hmmmmmmm
• Robert Kelly recently said he has 16 and 17 year old friends, but he's not fucking them. I will give him the benefit of the doubt. I was recently up Walbrook Junction about 2 in the morning and I brought some crack just to be neighborly not to smoke that shit. Nigger please. hmmmmm
• I read where Michael Vick blew through 17 million dollars in two years. Fuck was he buying space shuttles,countries, better yet did he buy people. 17 million in two years he should have had the shit smacked out of him and then locked his dumb ass up for failure to have common sense. He also didn't pay taxes. What the fuck is up with black people and taxes? IRS AIN'T NOTHING TO FUCK WITH ASK WESLEY SNIPES AND TEDDY RILEY TWO NEW JACK SWINGING MOTHERFUCKERS THAT WISHED THEY HAD PAID FIVE. HMMMMM
• I'M OUT LIKE LEBRON JAMES IN CLEVELAND.

NFL LOW DOWN WEEK 12

• I am starting off this week with some shit I have to get off my chest about that Bitch named Andy Reid. You told me ,the city of Philadelphia(which is a fucking cess pool of degenerates who have about as much class as a prostitute selling ass on North and Long ) and anyone else listening that Donavan McNabb was your man no questions asked. Then why did you pull that bullshit that you did Sunday. With your team trailing 10-7 at halftime you benched McNabb and put all of the blame for your team's poor play on him. In all of my years of watching football I have never witnessed some shit like that. That's the motherfucking Raven's defense not the Chiefs Bitch. I saw Romo throw 5 picks last year on Monday Night Football against the Bills and not get yanked. I saw Peyton throw 6 picks against the Chargers last year and his coach said nothing to him. Yet Andy Reid saw fit to not only embarrass Donvan McNabb by taking him out of the game, but put all of the blame for the Eagles poor play on him. What do you think everyone is talking about today? The lack of offensive talent on the Eagles or Donovan being the problem. I know what your doing Andy and it's fucked up. Your trying to save your job and shift blame from that whack ass front office of yours. Instead of getting Donovan some play makers you go out and sign Asante Samuels a motherfucking corner in the off season. You need corners on your team like we need four more years of Bush in office. Donvan over the years has had the pleasure of throwing to All Pro receivers like Todd Stinkston, James Trash, and future Hall of Famer Freddie Mitchell. Plaxico Burress, T.O., Roy Williams, Jason Whitten, Santana Moss, Chris Cooley. That's who Manning, Romo, and Campbell get to play catch with. The one season Donovan had T.O. YOU WENT TO THE SUPERBOWL DUMB ASS. Do the fucking math. Donovan your a better than me , because Favre, Peyton, and Brady wouldn't put up with the bullshit. Andy Reid bitch ass has you throwing the ball 50 times a game. Who does he talk too about his offensive game plans Mike Martz? Andy Reid should be drug tested, because he is fucking delusional. Tell his dumb ass that's not Fitzgerald and Bouldin your throwing too. I can't even name Donovan's fucking receivers outside of Westbrook. Raven's fans even sympathize with the parts McNabb has to work with. One last thing Bitch. I like the way you threw that game yesterday, by putting that buffoon in that was your backup. You must have had a lot of money riding on that shit. If Donovan was struggling what the fuck was that bitch going to do. Notice I don't even bother using his real name I just call him a Bitch, because well he just is. Andy Reid eat a dick up till you hick up. Donovan you can play for me anytime as long as the game doesn't go into Overtime. Remember there is a such thing as a tie. Just joking Donovan.
• Memo to the Dolphins and the 49ers: DON'T BELIEVE THE HYPE IT'S A SEQUEL. The demise of Moss and T.O. was greatly exaggerated. Both of these teams single covered these guys and paid dearly. T.O. repeatedly burned Nate Clemens(70 million dollar man). I guess in this recession 70 million ain't what it used to be and Moss toyed with the Dolphins corners. T.O. 213 yards receiving and Moss 125 yards receiving and 3 touchdowns. With the game on the line only Steve Smith can be mentioned with these two.
• The Jets 8-3 are the best team in the AFC. Say it ain't so. They whupped the Titans fraudulent asses in their building. I'm going to say it again Brett actually makes his teammates better. With Brady out it could be NEW YORK AGAINST NEW YORK in the Super Bowl
• If it wasn't for bad luck Norv wouldn't have any at all. The only thing he hasn't loss yet is his dignity and he will probably loose that at the end of the year. One more defeat in the last minute of a game, I think Doctor Phill's phone will be ringing a lot this week. How do you keep your head up and continue playing after these kind of losses. I personally wouldn't think any less of you if you said enough of this bullshit and just quit.
• Matt Cassel is going to make a lot of money next year, but buyers be ware. Ever heard of Scott Mitchell or Jeff Blake. These guys were one year wonders who never amounted to anything. Whoever gets Cassel remember this. You won't have that protective agency called the Patriots front line blocking for him and protecting his ass for him. They are the only line in football that doesn't hold ,falsetart , or jump offside. No one including Bush has this kind of protection watching his back. And when you sign him remember you don't get Bellicheck or Moss. It's not a motherfucking package deal. So it is not going to look the same. Don't buy that analog TV looking for a HD picture. You will be sorry.
• Ed Reed is a bad motherfucker. Neck injury or not he is the best play making safety in the league. When he picks off a pass he is always thinking to score. That shit must be in his con tract, because if you are about to tackle him he will just lateral it to another teammate and start blocking for him. 108 yard return that's just sick.
• PACMAN JONES IS A FUCKING BUFFOON, THAT SHOULD NOT BE WEARING COWBOY GEAR. IN THE HISTORY OF SPORTS THERE HAVE ONLY BEEN TWO OTHER BUFFOONS THAT I KNOW OF WHO ARE ON HIS LEVEL. ONE BEING ISIAH RIDER. IN CASE YOU DON'T KNOW RIDER PLAYED FOR THE TIMBERWOLVES, THE BLAZERS, THE HAWKS, AND HE HAD A CUP OF COFFEE AND GOT A RING WITH THE LAKERS. HE HAD MORE MONEY THAN ANY OF US WILL EVER SEE IN OUR LIFETIME. SO I GUESS YOUR SAYING TO YOURSELF WHAT MAKES HIM A BUFFOON. HE BELIEVED IN KEEPING IT REAL. REAL DUMB THAT IS. RIDER GOT ARRESTED FOR USING ILLEGAL CELL PHONES. THIS MOTHERFUCKER MILLIONAIRE STILL THOUGHT HE WAS BROKE AND OUT ON THE CORNER HUSTLING. HE COULD HAVE BOUGHT SPRINT WITH HIS SALARY INSTEAD HE CONTINUED TO SELL DRUGS AND LIVE THAT LIFESTYLE THAT'S WHY HE IS A BUFFOON. THE OTHER BUFFOON IS LATRELL SPREWELL. YOU KNOW HIM BEST FOR HIS STARRING ROLE IN IS LATRELL REALLY GOING TO HAVE TO CHOKE A BITCH. HE CHOKED HIS COACH BECAUSE HE YELLED AT HIM IN PRACTICE. THAT'S NOT EVEN WHY HE IS A BUFFOON. THIS MOTHERFUCKER HAD THE AUDACITY TO TELL HIS GM THAT HE COULDN'T FEED HIS FAMILY WITH THAT 7 MILLION DOLLAR A YEAR CONTRACT THEY WERE OFFERING HIM. I WOULD LAUGH AT THAT SHIT EXCEPT HE WAS FUCKING FOR REAL. ALL I WANT TO KNOW IS WHAT THE FUCK WAS HE FEEDING HIS FAMILY AND NOW HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE OUT THERE IN SOCIETY RESPECTED BUT BROKE THAN A SUMBITCH. PACMAN, RIDER, SPREWELL BUFFOONS FOR LIFE!
• Is it just me or does the Sunday night game seem more exciting than the Monday night game. When I was growing up MNF was the place to be, but now it seems like Sunday night is the more happening game.
• THE HIGH FIVE
• 1) NY GIANTS 10-1
• 2) NY JETS 8-3
• 3) TENNESSEE TITANS 10-1
• 4) PITTSBURGH STEELERS 8-3
• 5) TAMPA BAY BUCS 8-3
• MVP BRETT FAVRE
• GAME BALLS GO TO: RANDY MOSS,MATT CASSEL,T.O., ED REED,TONY ROMO,MICHAEL TURNER,CLINTON PORTIS AND ADAM VINATIERA
• I'm out like Andy Reid's word.

THE TRUE MVP

• As I sit here and reflect on another week gone by in the NFL, I here talk about Kurt Warner being MVP after the first eleven weeks of the season. How do you define MVP? Is it the person with the best numbers, is it the player with the most talent, is it the player who means the most to his team or is it the player who makes his team better.
• If you answered all of the above I couldn't blame you.
• When I hear MVP talk I never hear this player mentioned yet he is the most vocal, charismatic, not to mention most talented player in the league period. For twelve years he has anchored one of the best defensive teams in NFL history in the Baltimore Ravens. He has revolutionized the position of Middle Linebacker and made many an offensive coordinator loose sleep over game planning for him.
• The stats speak for themselves. Sugar Ray has appeared in nine Pro Bowls and been named an ALL-PRO seven times. He won Defensive Player of the Year in 2000and 2003 and; he was the sixth player to win the award multiple times. He was the first linebacker to win the Superbowl MVP Award since 1971, and the first on a winning team. At the conclusion of the 2007 season Lewis had career totals of 1520 tackles, 1367 solo tackles, 11 forced fumbles, 90 passes defended,83 tackles for losses,30 sacks,13 fumble recoveries,25 interceptions,and two touchdowns in 162 games. Lewis has led the NFL in tackles five times(1997,1999,2001,2003,and 2004). In 2003 Lewis led all linebackers in interceptions with 6, a total matching the All-Time record for middle linebackers in a season. Lewis was named first team ALL-PRO in 1999,2000,2001,2003, and 2004 and 2nd team ALL-PRO in 1997 and 1998. Under his watch the Ravens did not allow a single 100 yard rusher in 51 consecutive games from 1998-2001.
• Lewis has gained a reputation as a complete linebacker and a student of the game. He has the up most respect for the game and his play week in and week out shows.
• He is one of a handful of players that I have witnessed that actually make their teammates better. I don't like dick riding anybody, but when I watch Ray play it's like looking at JORDAN, MAGIC OR KOBE. I would pay just to watch him play on Defense. No other player in the history of the game has had that impact on me other than Prime Time himself Neon Deon Sanders.
• Ray Lewis has help make playing Defense fashionable. Teams around the league have modeled themselves after his play and defense and a running game are copied by a lot of teams as a formula for winning. Shawne Merriman and a hosts of other linebackers around the league are copying his style and hope to be like him when they grow up.
• You can put Ray Lewis on the Cincinnati Bengals and all of a sudden they would be a top 10 defense. He inspires and intimidates teammates all the while making them raise their level of play. 4TH and 1 game on the line who do you want running your defense? During my lifetime only Ronnie Lott, Lawrence Taylor, Reggie White, and Charles Haley could be mentioned with Ray Lewis. These guys could take average defenses and make them great. Double and triple teams me nothing to these guys when it came time to make a play they did.
• We have had one Icon in Cal Ripken now get ready for the second in Ray Lewis. Appreciate him Baltimore, because when he is gone their is know replacing him. Twelve years and know signs of slowing down. I believe he could play forever. Their are a lot of overpaid players in the league he is not one of them. If Deangelo Hall is worth 70 million, How much is Sugar Ray worth? You do the math.
• What time is it? Any dogs in the house? learn to love it because it is the best thing going today?
• I'M OUT LIKE THE DEADSKINS!

POUND FOR POUND THE GREATEST OF ALL TIME

• In my estimation pound for pound Roy Jones Jr. is the greatest fighter I've ever seen in my lifetime. I know your saying what about Ali? His best fights were before my time and I witnessed him at the end of his career.The one fight I do remember seeing was Ali getting his ass whupped by that toothless Leon Spinks. He know doubt has a place in the GREATEST OF ALL TIME WING in the Hall of Fame, but this is about Roy.
• Before I tell you why he is the greatest, I am going to talk about the fight he had the other night with Joe Calzaghe. Yeah that Joe Calzaghe. The man who eight years ago Roy would have destroyed. Joe Calzaghe is a 36 year old white boy from Wales who happens to be undefeated at 45-0 while defeating other no talent white boys for the past 15 years. Calzaghe's only claim to fame was beating a 43 year old Bernard Hopkins. Calzaghe sounds to me like someone who beats up on boxers who are past their prime and pads his record with these victories. I heard he was trying to line up a big money fight with Thomas Hearns next. In the first round Saturday night Roy turned back the clock and knocked Calzaghe on his Wales ass. After that Roy basically got his ass beat, but that's besides the point. For five rounds Roy looked good and the fight was competitive. He ran out of gas after that and he got pummeled. Roy learned a tuff lesson in that you can't beat father time. Calzaghe's fists time and time again honed in on it's target, leaving Jones resembling a tired old man desperately missing his full vision. And sadly, after the fifth defeat of his Hall of Fame career, Jones may have regained his clarity of sight but is still lacking in his clarity of thought. Roy was only awarded one round on all three judges scorecards making it painfully obvious he should take the smart option and hang it up for good.
• During the mid to late 90's Jones was the sports most complete boxer, with his dominance complete to the point of boredom. The prospect of Roy Jones losing was laughable. Yet some of those superhuman efforts are being replaced with these very mortal ones.
• Five years ago to this day Jones won his last meaningful fight, a majority decision over Antonio Tarver. He lost three straight fights after that twice to Tarver and once to bitch ass Glen Johnson, before beating over the hill Felix Trinidad.
• In a five year period that could be considered his prime Jones went 16-1 with his only loss coming via DQ. He avenged that loss with a first round knockout in the rematch. During this time frame he defeated nine current or former world champions and three men who either already are in the Hall of Fame or will be when they become eligible. Jones was more dominant in his sport in that time frame than Tiger Woods was in his right now, because Tiger actually looses every now and then. If Tiger would have met Calzaghe in 2000 it is safe to assume he would have fucked him up.
• James Toney a sure first ballot Hall of Famer the minutes he is eligible, was pound for pound the best fighter in the world when Jones beat him at the MGM in Las Vegas on Nov 18,1994. Jones won 30 of 36 scored rounds in a stunning and beautiful display of boxing ability. Pugilism at it's finest.
• Mike McCallum a Hall of Famer was Jones next victim in Tampa, Fla. on Nov. 22,1996. They fought for the WBC Light Heavyweight title. Jones won every round on the judges scorecard including a 10-8 round in which he didn't even knock him down. That's dominance people.
• On April 25,1998 Jones stopped Virgil Hill with a devastating shot to the ribs so fierce that they are still showing it on highlight reels on the game's best knockouts. Virgil Hill to this day can't eat solid food and he says it hurts when he coughs. He can't even bend over to tie his shoe laces. Jones won the first three rounds before knocking Hill out in the 4th.
• So lets see against three future Hall of Famers , Jones went 3-0 and won 70 of 76 rounds. He won 92.1 percent of his rounds against Hall of Fame fighters. Pugilism dammit. There is no boxer in recent history that has dominated that type of competition quite that way.
• In 1993, Jones routed Bernard Hopkins, another future Hall of Famer, winning 24 of 36 scored rounds from him despite fighting with a broken hand. A broken hand godammit. Play your PS3 or XBOX system with a broken hand people. IMPOSSIBLE. After the first round he switched to a southpaw and still won against one of the best of all time.
• In his prime Jones had no equal. He was so superior that not even the best fighters in the world could come close to beating him. And as great as Calzaghe has been he would have never come close to being able to handle Jones in his prime.
• Jones in his prime would cross his hands behind his back, stick out his chin and dare his opponents to hit him. He had the juice to finish you with either hand and knock you out with a single blow. His footwork was second to none and his hand speed was frightening. Jones was the only fighter in history to go a full round and not get hit with a punch according to official numbers. During that time frame the only things I was sure about was death,taxes,my sexuality, and Roy Jones winning.
• Roy is pound for pound the best in the history of the game. To me Jones retired long ago, but his legacy in the sport still means something. He needs to have the conviction and sense to bring things to a natural end, instead of chasing past glories that will never return.
• I will leave you with this quote from Roy Jones Jr. "WHEN I LOOK INTO THE MIRROR, IT LOOKS LIKE IT'S 115 PERCENT(OF WHAT I USED TO BE),"JONES SAID. "I'M LIKE , WOW, HOW YOU DO I KEEP GETTING BETTER LOOKING AS I GET OLDER... I'M PRETTY CLOSE TO 100 PERCENT , TRUST ME, PRETTY CLOSE. GO AHEAD AND BET AGAINST ME. YOU WILL GO HOME SATURDAY NIGHT CRYING SAYING: ROY,ROY! I DONE LOST ALL MY MONEY., I SHOULD HAVE LISTENED TO YOU. I SHOULDN'T, HAVE BET AGAINST YOU.
• ROY I KNOW I NEVER WILL!
• I'M OUT LIKE TRACY McGRADY, RON ARTEST AND THOSE BITCH ASS ROCKETS AGAINST THE LAKERS.