NFL LOW DOWN WEEK 15

• Let's start off this edition of the Low Down with some Raven's talk. If I wanted to hear about irrefutable or circumstantial evidence, I would look at motherfucking Judge Judy or Court TV or some shit. Luckily I look at CSI(I KNOW THERE ARE ABOUT 20 OF THOSE FUCKING SHOWS) and Law and Order and I know about that litigation shit. By now you have all seen the play and have drawn your own conclusions about whether or not that was a touchdown or not. According to the Law of the Land a touchdown occurs when the nose of the ball breaks the plane not any part of the players body, but the nose of the ball. This is where things get a little dicey, so a good friend of mine Maybell recommended that I call Harold Katz for a legal explanation on how Instant Replay works. According to Harold once an official makes a call on the field it is official. The official on the field ruled no touchdown. The booth(I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU BUT I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW WHO THE FUCK THEY ARE) over turned the call. Harold also pointed out that unless there is overwhelming evidence that supports over turning the decision on the field the play stands. Now I ask all of you did you see enough evidence to support changing the call on the field. NO YOU DIDN'T .NOW GET OUT OF MY COURT ROOM YOU DOPE FENE YOUR A USER YOUR A USER. I'VE SEEN YOUR KIND COME IN MY COURT ROOM BEFORE. LYING , FORNICATING, MAKING SHIT UP. DAMN SORRY ABOUT THAT I JUST HAD A JUDGE MATHIS MOMENT. Why the play got over turned we will all speculate, but I know one thing it was the wrong damn call. This is why Raven fans believe the league is out to get them. INSTANT REPLAY WAS DESIGNED TO GET THE CALL RIGHT. DO YOUR JOB MOTHERFUCKERS!
• Now on to some real shit. You do not let a team that you have shut down all day drive 92 yards on your ass. Blame Coach Ryan and those corners for giving Steeler receivers 15 yard cushions. I don't why defensive coordinators switch up their game plans in the last minutes of a game. Fear must set in. I don't mind you rushing three lineman, but you could have still played bump and run with those other eight defenders you had. Playing with scarred money never get's you anywhere. A wise man once told me he would rather die instantly from a long bomb being thrown, than that AL B. SURE killing me softly shit slowly making your way down field. Raven's fans if your team does not make the playoffs you are going to look back on the Titans game and the Steelers game as either they stole them from us or we blew it.
• I told you guys about Eli back in week 5. Without Darius Miles big brother the Bronx Buffoon Plaxico Burress and that freak of nature Brandon Jacobs Eli is limited in what he brings to the table. What are his strengths, because I damn sure know his weaknesses? You are a Manning in name only. The only difference between you and Kyle Bowler is that you don't trip over your own fucking feet when your dropping back to throw. You making the Pro Bowl is a joke, but then again Kanye Tuda thinks he can actually sing.
• The D stepped it up again and Eli paid the price. This was the type of play I was expecting all year. In case you haven't noticed the difference lately in the defense, Wade Phillips is calling the plays. This was the attacking style of Defense I expected when he was hired. Next on the hit list Joe Flacco.
• When are you motherfuckers going to leave T.O. alone. I don't agree with everything he has done, but is he any different than Keyshawn" just gimme the damn ball "Johnson, or The Playmaker" Michael Irvin, or Randy I give 100% when I feel like it Moss. Any wide receiver with an ounce of talent wants the ball all the fucking time. Even when they are double teamed they still believe they are open. You ever hear Travis Taylor or James Trash I mean Thrash complain about their touches. No because bums don't demand that rock be thrown their way. So what if T.O. is jealous of Jason Whitten, we have all been jealous at some point in time. Imagine if your parents sent your brother to USC and sent your dumb ass to BCCC. How would you feel? T.O. is guilty of acting like a child and that is front page news. Mean while the President had shoes thrown at him and a lot of people didn't even know about it. Remember that guy that shot himself in a club. Yeah forgot already huh. Ask yourself this. Would you love to have T.O. on your team baggage and all? You damn right. END OF GODDAMN DISCUSSION.
• I was thinking about the Deadskins season and how things have turned out for their bitch asses when this thought entered my mind. You sorry ass motherfuckers rolled over for the Bengals last week when you still had playoff possibilities on the table. Remember Jada Pinkett in Set It Off when she was trying to send her brother to college. She had no money and she decided to sleep with Mack from Night Court to make money for her brother's tuition. Remember the look on her face as she laid there getting fucked by that 50 year old degenerate. The look said I give up fuck it, just take me and get it over with. Deadskin fans, Daniel Snyder that's what type of effort and pride comes with putting on that nasty ass burgundy gear. All that money for those over priced season tickets and the Deadskins put out as much effort as a West Wood Ave HO. Couldn't happen to a better franchise. Enjoy the draft motherfuckers.
• Don't look now but the Colts are 10-4 after starting off slowly and no one is talking about them. Peyton wouldn' t have it any other way. I talked to him recently about his maturation and how his game has evolved and changed over the years.
• IGROMO: You guys started off slow, but have picked things up. What has been the biggest factor in your turn around.
• PEYTON: First let me say it's an honor to talk to you Mr. Igromo. I am a fan of your work sir.
• IGROMO: You don't have to call me Mr. Igromo Peyton. Mr. Romeo is good enough.
• PEYTON: Fine enough Sir. I think it was just a matter of us getting healthy and adjusting to the changes we implemented on offense. Over the years I have learned to be more patient and take what the defense gives me. Trying not to force the issue as much. We still run the hurry up offense. We just pay attention to detail more.
• IGROMO: When Brady went down did you think things were going to be a lot easier and the road to the Super Bowl would come through Indy?
• PEYTON: Not all. There are a lot of talented football teams including the Bengals and the Chiefs and you can't overlook anybody. I prepare for the Raiders the same way I prepare for the Pats. I watch film to see how often a defender blinks his eyes or to see if his laces are tied a particular way. I can tell you different players favorite colors, what they like for dinner or how often they make whuppy with their partner. It's my job as a QB to be prepared for anything and that's why I study so hard. I notice your cell phone beeped three times even though you have it on vibrate. Am I correct in assuming one of your ladies of the night is trying to get hold of you.
• I will have more of the Peyton interview next week.
• Omarr Epps and Big Ben does it again. Remember it's better to be lucky than good. This team just never gives up. They have so many holes on offense, but they make just enough plays to win. Stat of the week: Big Ben is the highest rated passer in the NFL after receiving contact. That is a painful way to get in the record books. Bottom line is no play with Ben involved is ever over.
• Remember last year it was supposed to be the Pats and the Boys in the Super Bowl. This year it's supposed to be the Gmen and the Titans. After the last couple of weeks. What do you think? Word on the street is the Steelers and the Panthers are the best bet right now.
• I am now convinced that it doesn't matter how you start, but how you finish. The Gmen have shown me the way. The Gmen and The Steelers both won Super Bowls as a wild card team with no home games. They finished strong at the end because all of their games had playoff intensity to them. Once the playoffs started they felt no pressure, because they were used to it. It's still two weeks left, but I see a trend developing. I will share it in two weeks.
• I think the Cardinals are just happy to be in the playoffs. I don't expect anything from them.
• Detroit Lions keep up the good work. Keep your eye on the prize 0-16. PERFECTION
• The Pats can end up 11-5 and not make the playoffs, but Denver and Arizona can end up 8-8 and get in. What a wonderful fucking world we live in.
• MVP: Peyton Manning
• Defensive player of the year: Ed Reed or Demarcus Ware?
• The High Five:
• 1)PITTSBURGH STEELERS 11-3 When will their good luck end?
• 2) INDY COLTS 10-4 On a roll and is their a better leader than Peyton?
• 3)NY GIANTS 11-3 Eli is feeling the heat. Think they need Plax.
• 4)CAROLINA PANTHERS 11-3 I don't believe in Jake Delhome
• 5) TENNESSEE TITANS 11-3 This is the wrong time to start loosing.
• BUFFOON OF THE WEEK:
• You made this too easy and you supplied America with too much ammo. I don't like doing this , but the buffoon of the week is T.O.,but not for the reason you think. I gotta get him for that bitch ass clip everyone won't let me forget about. You crying after we loss last year in the playoffs and saying that's my quarterback. I don't care how much you like Romo , but the sight of your lip quivering and the tears strolling down your face will forever make you look like a Beeeyatch. You know how when you were a kid and you would start crying and sniffing and you had to take deep breaths just to talk. That was T.O. You get no street cred when you boo hoo in front of America and pledge allegiance to another man. No matter how much I defend you, someone will bring that bitch ass scene up and all I can do is shut the fuck up. For this and this alone you are a buffoon.
• The Pro Bowl rosters were announced and all I can say is it should be about your play on the field not about any lifetime achievement award or past accomplishments.
• I will talk more about God's favorite team the Dallas Cowboy's in my next blog. The hole in the roof so that God can watch his favorite team is about to close forever. I will talk about my 10 most memorable moments in Texas stadium.
• I'm out like the Deadskins in 2008.