NFL LOW DOWN WEEK 12

I'm going to start this week off with a letter I received from Jason Whitlock of the NFL Truth's on Foxsports.

Dear Romeo, I love reading the Low Down column every week. Your take on the world of sports is breath taking and provocative. Missed your column last week, but I know you were out providing for your family, making that loot and giving your woman that good loving that only you can deliver. Over the years I have heard you use the term dick riding and I'm quite familiar with it. I love to take things from your column and use them in mine and get props for them. It makes me look good and I have garnered a lot of street cred using your topics. If reading your column and using some of your material is considered dick riding then YIIPPIE YAH YAY AND GIDDIE UP MUTHERFUCKER !!! I'M ON THIS RIDE FOR THE LONG HAUL.

• UPON FURTHER REVIEW:


• Upon further review I apologize to Chris Johnson for next recognizing your talent, but right now you are the best back in football and you are proving it weekend and week out. You are averaging 6.4 yds a carry. That is some TECMO BOWL SHIT you are doing to mutherfuckers in the NFL. You are the MVP of the league not named Brees, Manning or Farve.


• Upon further review Drew Brees plays like the Steve Nash of the NFL. He is an excellent leader and the sky is the limit for him and his team until they play BIG D GODDAMMIT.


• Upon further review The Giants, Eagles, Steelers, Ravens, and Falcons aren't elite teams, but they are good teams that are capable of making noise in the playoffs.


• Upon further review the demise of the Chargers was greatly exaggerated. One team that does not want to see them is the Colts.


• Upon further review Ray Rice is a bad boy. If he doesn't turn that pass against Steelers into a big gain, The Ravens could have possibly loss that game.


• Upon further review T.O. still has something left. If he would have kept his fucking mouth shut he could still be doing his thing in Dallas. He would certainly be an upgrade over that halter top wearing buffoon ass mutherfucker Roy Williams. Take a look at that tight ass short jersey that he wears with the back cut out. Bitch ass trick. Sorry about that , but I can't stand mutherfuckers who look like Tarzan , but play like Jane. Just like Sheila Dixon his ass is stealing money too.


• Upon further review the Deadskins still suck and Jim Zorn is still a buffoon. Love that organization. Why don't you sign Mom's Mabely to play tackle next year. She can't be any worse than the production you have gotten from Haynesworth this year.


• THINGS THAT I LEARNED IN WEEK 12:


• I learned that if Larry Johnson can gain 100 yds running behind the Bengals line then the Offensive line coach should be in line for a hefty raise.


• I learned that Dennis Dixon looks like modern day Randall Cunningham. He looks throws and runs like Randall. With the proper coaching and playing time hopefully he will have a career similar to Randall.


• I learned that since SPYGATE came out the Pats haven't won shit.


• I learned that the Colts don't have an identity yet. They just win games, never panic and always play with a sense of urgency.


• I learned that their are no ugly girls named Heather and no attractive ones named Gertrude.


• I learned that Ray Rice is the the true MVP of the Ravens not Flacco.


• I learned that no matter how well Matt Leinart plays Vince Young will always upstage him. Leinart had perhaps his best day as a pro throwing for 21 of 21 for 220 yds.His rival from the 2006 national championship game threw for 387 yds and 1TD including the game winner. Young converted three 4th downs and took his team down field on a 18 play 99yd drive that was Elway like to win the game.


• I learned that sometimes an Owner can actually make a good football decision. That finger gesturing buffoon Bud Adams told Fisher to play Young and 5 wins later Fisher looks like a genius.


• UNNECESSARY ROUGHNESS:


• Can someone please tell me how Ralph Friedgen is allowed to keep his job after going 2-10, but yet all Byron Scott has done is win and he has been fired twice. Byron was fired after taking the Nets to 2 final appearances and winning coach of the year honors. Correct me if I'm wrong but don't you normally fire a coach when his team actually sucks. Byron Scott makes the playoffs every year and now he is at home playing the role of Mr. Mom and car pooling with women named Esther and Agnice. No Md. team has ever loss 10 games and for Friedgen to still have a job disturbs me. What kind of standards do we have at Md. I thought going 6-5 and playing in THE TOYS R US BOWL was bad enough but 2 and fucking 10. I can tolerate losses if they are to teams like FSU, THE U, or FLORIDA, but I can't tolerate losses to National Powers like Frostburgh St., SWISS MISS UNIVERSITY,RAY CHARLES SCHOOL FOR THE BLIND, DUNCAN HINES UNIVERSITY OR THE WALBROOK JUNCTION ACADEMY FOR MISFITS AND MALCONTENTS.I can't tolerate this shit anymore. Mediocrity has become the rallying cry at MD. and I want no parts of this. I have given up hope of seeing Md. return to its winning ways.


• HIGH FIVE


• 1) COLTS 11-0 There is no such thing as a safe lead when you play the Colts.


• 2) SAINTS 11-0 A walking living breathing video game.


• 3) VIKINGS 10-1 Farve plus health equals Super bowl?


• 4)COWBOYS 8-3 What does December hold for Romo and the Boys.


• 5) CHARGERS 8-3 Much like Dallas can San Diego win when it counts.


• STOCK UP STOCK DOWN:


• VINCE YOUNG QB TITANS:Who saw this coming? He has poise and looks confident.


• CHARLES WOODSON CB PACKERS:The best cover corner in the league right now.


• MILES AUSTIN WR COWBOYS: He will burn man coverage all day.


• T.O. WR BILLS: 14 Catches 297 yds and 2Tds. That's my wide out. That's my wide out


• MARK CLAYTON WR RAVENS: When he plays well the Ravens are hard to beat.


• STOCK DOWN:


• ELI MANNING QB GIANTS: Feeling the heat.


• JAKE DELHOMME QB PANTHERS: His career could possibly be over.


• MATT SCHAUB QB TEXANS: Plays like Peyton in the 1st half. Eli in the 2nd.
• HINES WARD WR STEELERS: Criticizing your starting QB is never good.
• BEAUTY OF THE WEEK:
• Alicia Keys is my beauty of the week. Can anyone tell me how Swiss Beatz pulled that, because I am at a loss of words.
• BUFFOON OF THE WEEK:
• Hines Ward how could you call out your QB and question his manhood on National TV. You questioned the severity of his concussion and you said that you often lied and played when you had a concussion. Now I know why you are always smiling, because you don't have it all upstairs.You don't even have common sense enough to know when you have been fucked up, so everything is funny to you. I guess you enjoy riding buses and wearing your helmet on and off the field. What good is having all that money if you can't even count it? When someone hits you so hard that your brain moves and you don't know what day of the week it is. It is time to move on to something safer like being a shark dentist or a crossing guard in Iraq. It is not tuff or a badge of honor to play with a concussion , it's stupid. I would love to see you in twenty years when you look like Leon Spinks and talk like Larry Holmes. Then we will see who is smiling.
• Now on to the real BUFFOON OF THE WEEK. I choose myself. That's right mutherfuckers I choose myself. I have to apologize to Bobby Bowden, but not for the reasons that you think. I still believe it is time for him to go and I think the game has passed him by., but he deserves to go out on his terms. Florida St. was nothing before he got there and at their current pace they will be nothing after he leaves. From 1987 to 2000 he coached Florida St. to top 5 finishes. He also coached FSU to 2 national titles including going wire to wire. That shit is unprecedented in College Football. That record will never be broken. There are certain coaches like Bowden and Joe Pa who are bigger than the University they coach at and they deserve the benefit of the doubt. Florida St. dropped the ball by going public and embarrassing him without reaching an agreement with him first behind closed doors. They should have never reached an agreement with that buffoon Jimbuffon Fisher to take over in 2011, because Bowden never announced his decision to step down. With all of his contributions to the University he should be allowed to call his own shots not be penciled in as a figure head. Yes his won loss record warrants making a change, but his honor and legacy mean more. I am embarrassed by my actions and Florida St officials should feel the same. God Bless you Bobby Bowden. Thanks for the Memories and I will never forget you. Love you man.
• I'M OUT LIKE ALLEN IVERSON.

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NFL LOW DOWN WEEK 7

I apologize about last week's edition not hitting the air waves, but it was due to technical difficulties. I realize that yall junkies need your football fix, so I'm getting you The Lowdown extra early so appreciate it. My rant this week is about that shit I was forced to watch on my expensive big screen 46 inch LCD Samsung 1080p Television yesterday. I understand you want to promote the game over seas so you televise the Pats vs the Bucs nationally and everyone has to watch it. Cool but when that shit starting getting out of hand right after the coin flip why did CBS not switch to something more exciting like that Raiders Jets game that was 38-0. If I want to watch Brady light up buffoons I will replay that Titans ass whipping from last week in my head, because that is where it is embedded. The game on Fox was no better. The Bengals treated the Bears like it was there homecoming game, but that's only part of the problem. After the Vikings Steelers game the Fox post game analysists told us to get ready for the Cowboys Falcons game and you know I was as happy as a prositute with bag of dicks. Only that shit didn't happen. Remember back in the day when you were watching NWA WORLWIDE WRESTLING on channel 54 and David Crockett and Tony Shivonne would hype up a match that was going to take place between the 4 horsemen and Dusty Rhodes, Nakita Koloff and the Road Warriors. You would sit on the edge of that bed for 58 minutes waiting for that fucking match to happen. Then the music hits the Horsemen come down, one minute left and then the music hits and the The Warriors,Dusty and Nakita come down. 30 seconds left they are about to lock up . David is still hyping up the match saying Tony it's about to happen. Then the credits start coming down the screen goes blank and you know what you here ( you here the crowd screaming and yelling hoo hoo hoo everytime Dusty connects with an elbow)sorry we will see you next week and that's it.All that so I can stand there holding my dick in my hand looking stupid wondering what just happen. That's how I felt when the Bengals Bears game came on and to top it off they never switched to the Dolphins Saints game until after that masacre was over. What the fuck? If a game is out of hand and the outcome is not in doubt switch that shit so we can see something worth viewing. The only drama in that game was whether or not Cedric Benson was going to rush for 200 yds. I can understand if you live in Chicago or Cincinatti and you show those cities the whole game, but give me something where the defecit is less than 30 points and I will be satisfied. I don't often complain about the NFL, BUT THIS SHIT NEEDS TO CHANGE GODDAMITT. I'm not normally off on Sundays, so I expect some good shit on when I am there. Don't make me start watching NASCAR mutherfuckers. Now on to the Lowdown.

• SCORES AND COMMENTS:
• Packers 31 Browns 3- What is the Man idiot doing to this franchise?
• Texans 24 49ers 21-I think the book is out on the niners and now we will see just how good of a coach Singletary is. This is not highschool football. It takes more than motivation, so he better brush up on his Xs and Os.
• Chargers 37 Chiefs 7- Hey Norv win a game that counts against some competition.
• Colts 42 Rams 6- Right now they are the best team in Football.
• Steelers 27 Vikings 17 - I watched this shit and I still can't believe what I saw. Watching a Steelers game is like watching a fucking movie. For 3 hours on Sunday you just sit back and you watch action, suppense, commedy and some of the most unbelievable bullshit you have ever seen in your life. Remember when Rocky beat the Russian and you were like how in the fuck did that happen? That's what happen yesterday and I don't have to go into details, because you saw that shit yourself.
• Pats 35 Bucs 7- No QB and and a coach with no clue. What a hell of a decision that was putting your franchise QB in the game down 28 to the Pats late in the 4th quarter to perform mop up duty. That's how you build confidence in your team and inspire them to greatness. Have your QB face Bellicheck and that pass rush straight off the bench. As a headcoach you will probably be one and done.
• Jets 38 Raiders 0- All I can say is Mark Sanchez was seen eating a hot dog on the bench during the game. Nuff said. Can we please drug test the Eagles, because they had to be on that shit to have loss to this team.,
• Bills 20 Panthers 9- Hey Coach Fox resign already, because it doesn't get any worse than this. My fault you could have loss to the Deaskins.
• Bengals 45 Bears 10- Child please Cedric Benson looks good. Jay Cutler needs some receivers bad. Oh my bad he had them up in Denver. Still like being a Bear Jay. Somewhere Mike Tomzack and Vince Evans are saying this is some bullshit.
• Cowboys 37 Falcons 21- Everyone said that Ryan was the better QB and the Falcons were the better team. If that is the case I like being bad. Miles Austin is a perfect example of how hard work and hunger payoff. Here that Roy Williams.
• Saints 46 Dolphins 34- I have never seen that many dropped balls in my life. No I'm lying I got to watch T.O. perform for the Boys the last 3 years. Memo to the Dolphins run the wildcat and throw to the white boy often and early.
• Cardinals 24 Giants 17-He Eli play ball and stop trying to imitate your brother. Did you see Eli changing plays and redirecting his offense. They looked confused and downright awlful. If Arizona plays like this the rest of the year they could go back to the big dance.
• WHAT I LEARNED IN WEEK 7?
• I learned that if you don't have a QB you are screwed. Tampa, Cleveland, Oakland,Tennessee, St. Louis and Washington are horrible and unwatchable.
• I learned that if you don't put pressure on the QB you are not going to win and you better have book end corners. I saw the Cardinals put 9 men in the box yesterday and dare the wrong Manning to beat them through the air. Kyle Bowler never saw 9 men in the box and he used to handoff to Jamal all day. My boy Greg brought up a good point. The Giants receivers can't beat man coverage. Zone them up and the Real Steve Smith looks like Jerry Rice. Man Them up and the Real Steve Smith looks like Travis Taylor. Slow ,confused and all fucked up.
• I learned that you better outscore the Saints, because whatever it is they do no one has figured it out yet. Drew Brees throws for 400 yds., but no one get's 100yds receiving. They look like USC, becuase after Brees and Bush I don't know anyone.
• I learned that the Deadskins are worst than I thought. They had a bye week and they still loss. Go figure. Take that mutherfucker and you know who you are.
• I learned that big receivers are the in thing. Rice who looks like a fake ass Randy Moss and Harvin who play for the Vikings look like a pair of wingmen for the Lakers. Brett Favre drops back and lays it out and they go get it. That beats throwing to Devan Hester and Mark Clayton who are both 5 foot 9 with Prince high heel boots on.
• I learned that Adrian Peterson is a combination of Barry Sanders and Emmitt Smith. Did you see that play when he hit the x button and then the R1 button when he ran over Ike Taylor and then put that spin on Polamalu. He is a freak of nature and he is the best in the business. His runs for no gains looks good. Goose and Moose were throwing compliments at him like he was Megan Fox. He's good , but not that good. Ain't that much dick riding in the world.
• And finally I learned that when Brett Favre throws an interception it's the receivers fault and that when Jamarcus Russell the man with those child bearing hips throws an interception that was the result of a dropped pass by his receiver it's his fault.
• OUT OF BOUNDS:
• When is enough enough? We have never won a National Championship, but fuck were we ever the worst. How in the hell do you explain loosing to Duke on Saturday. Not in Cameron on the basketball court, but on the grid iron where I don't know if anyone has ever been drafted to the NFL. What is Fridge doing to Maryland? You know how hard it is to get someone to come to Duke to play football. You have a better chance of getting Rush Limbaugh to speak at Morgan's Homecoming or attending a play with your girl that actually shows black men taking care of their children and being faithful. How do you top this dispicable dsiplay of buffonary at it's finest. Why don't you schedule Frostburg St., or The Minute Men of Bozack U so that they can further add embarasment to our once proud University. Much like I did to the Orioles I'm done until The Fridge is gone. Free my Terps.
• THE HIGH FIVE:
• 1)Idianapolis Colts 6-0: Who is going to be the team that stops Peyton from winning.
• 2)New Orleans Saints 6-0: They are a real life Tecmo Bowl Team.
• 3)Minnesota Vikings 6-1:Should have won yesterday.
• 4)Denver Broncos 6-0: Josh McDaniels is doing something right. Bmore is next.
• 5)New England 5-2: Is Brady all the way back. Time will tell.
• STOCK UP STOCK DOWN:
• STOCK UP MILES AUSTIN:6REC 171YDS 2TDS. HE DESRVES TO START.
• STOCK UP OWEN DANIELS:7REC 123YDS 1TD. TEXANS TE IS ON FIRE.
• STOCK UP TONY ROMO:311 YDS 3TDS. NO INTERCEPTIONS
• STOCK UP DEMARCUS WARE: 2SACKS. MADE LIFE MISERABLE FOR RYAN
• STOCK UP CEDRIC BENSON:189 YDS 1TD. GOT REVENGE ON OLD TEAM
• STOCK UP TOM BRADY: 308YDS 3TDS: HE'S BACK
• STOCK UP PEYTON MANNING:235 YDS 3TDS. IS HIS STOCK EVER DOWN.
• STOCK UP:CARDINALS D: #1 AGAINST THE RUN. WHO KNEW.
• STOCK DOWN JOHN FOX: LOSING TO THE BILLS AT HOME GETS YOU FIRED.
• STOCK DOWN BUCS OFFENSE: WHAT IS YOUR GAMEPLAN?
• STOCK DOWN BEARS D: WHERE ARE YOU URLACHER
• STOCK DOWN MAN IDIOT: WISH YOUN HAD BRAYLON AND WINSLOW BACK
• STOCK DOWN DEADSKINS: YOUR PLAY CALLER WAS RUNNING A BINGO PARLER
• STOCK DOWN RAMS MANAGEMENT: KYLE BOWLER IS YOUR QB
• BUFFOON OF THE WEEK:
• Who is a bigger buffoon Lamar Odom or Steve Phillips of Espn who had an affair with a chick that needs to get dna tested to prove she is indeed a woman. Steve Phillips is a married man who felt the need to cheat on his wife with Aunt Esther and Grady's love child just so he could bust a nut. Now his wife is divorcing him, he lost his job and he has to pay the five. Lamarr on the overhand analyzed his situatiuon something he is not good at and decided on a prenup. He gave the wrong Kardashian $1,000,000 a year, Laker tickets for fer family for life,a house for her mother and her, a brand new Bentley everytime they make a new model and a per diem per month. Sounds like she got 10 year deal with a players option and the ability to opt out. . How would you feel if some mutherfucker like Ray J was driving your shit, living in a house you brought , fucking your bitch ( you saw the tape) and sitting courtside watching your ass entertain him. Sounds fucked up don't it. Can you say O.J..That's the dumbass scenerio Lamar Odom agreed too. The wrong Kardsahian makes out either way. She has access to your shit now and whenever one of you wake the fuck up and decide this whole thing was dumb she is going to get paid like Brian Billick does by the Ravens for doing nothing. What were you thinking? I would have told her ass your not Kim Bitch so stop tripping . I love you we can make this shit work, but if it doesn't work out you take your shit and I will take mine and we will go our seperate ways. But no she sucked that dick like only a Kardashian can and he said ok I do. Hey Lamarr I told you last year, don't make a decision unless you hit M&M'S FIRST. Sugar dependancy can't go untreated. Blake Griffin the number pick in the draft doesn't have those type of perks in his contract. The Lakers made you work and sweat and beg for your shit and here comes the wrong Kardashian and she gets paid because of her incredible ability to dribble balls with her mouth. Because you agreed to this shit and brought this on yourself you Lamarr Odom are my Buffoon of the week.
• I'm out like Jim Zorn's dignity.

NFL LOW DOWN WEEK 17

• Another December another Cowboys loss what's new. If your not sure of the temperature outside check to see how the Cowboys played and it will let you know how you need to dress for the day. 12 years of this shit. This is some Baltimore Oriole shit going on here with the losing. Chan Gailey, Dave Campo, Barry Switzer, Bill Parcells, and Wade Phillips. One Big Ass Tuna and Four Dumb Ass Buffoons. Same results no playoff wins in 12 years.


• I'm not going to talk about X's and O's yet. I'm going to tackle the issue of heart and character. You either have it or you don't and you can't fake it, because it will show. Remember in Baby Boy when Jodie and his partner were beating down the fools that stole his ALAZE. They banged the shit out of everyone except for the last dude, because he didn't flinch when they went to hit him. All of his partners were on the ground crying and he knew he was going to get fucked up , but he stood tall because he had heart. It didn't stop his from getting his ass beat with a belt, but he earned points because he didn't back down because things weren't looking good for him. I look at this Cowboy team and I see know heart or character. Who the fuck is the emotional leader? This is football not the fucking debate team. Any organization lacking leadership is doomed to fail from the start. That mutherfucking bitchass Tony Romo was quoted as saying " It's not the end of the world. It's a sporting event. If this is the worst thing that's going to happen to me I have lived a good life". Man shut the fuck up. Even former Olympic figure skater Scott Hamilton called you a Bitch and said you need to grow a pair. Where is Troy Aikman when I need you?.When the so called leader of mine team sounds like an extra on Queer Eye For The Straight Guy you know there is a problem. No disrespect to Homo nation or whatever the fuck your calling yourselves now a days. If Peyton Manning had played the way Romo has played for the last month, he would have gave back his salary and issued an apology for his terrible play. This would never have happened to Tom Brady. This is the same mutherfucker that headbutts his lineman when they block for his ass. Hell with emotion like that I want to block for his ass too. Romo and that aw shucks, golly gee wilbur attitude with that shit eating grin on his face needs to become a leader and tell everyone on that team to shut the fuck up and play. The only person who argues with a Franchise QB is a misinformed bastard like T.O. who believes his needs are above the crews. Like Adrian told Rocky when he wanted to fight the Russian "YOU CAN'T WIN." No player on a team would dare go after his starting QB, because just like fucking the bosses daughter it can lead to early unemployment. Memo To Homo I Mean Romo: Study tapes of Manning and Brady not Eli and get tougher. Rent a copy of Boyz n the Hood and goddammitt grow some facial hair. Do whatever it takes to lead this team and hopefully you will earn yourself some street cred along the way.


• Did you see Derrick Mason against us last week. He knew how big the game was and no matter what he was not going to let a little thing like playing with one arm stop him. That's playing with heart, character and a sense of urgency. Derrick Mason leads by example and the Ravens Defense respects him emensely. There is no greater compliment that I can give a player than that.


• The definition of the word Character-The combination of qualities or features that distinguishes one person,group, or thing from another. The Cowboys have plenty of character, just not the type you would want on your football team when it has no real leadership. The Bulls won with Dennis Rodman , because Michael Jordan and Scottie Pippen kept his ass in line. Do whatever you want off the court( dress up like a bitch, fuck Carmen Electra, even wrestle for WCW), but don't fuck our money up on the court. Rodman knew where the power lied and he conformed. Where as in San Antonio a team with no real leader, but a bunch of good guys(David Robinson and Sean Elliot) he acted like a Buffoon and showed his ass off. That's how T.O. is with us. Because we have no leadership, he acts like a buffoon on and off the field and he gets away with it. Jerry Jones is like Spawn. He must have made a deal with the devil when the Boys won 3 Super Bowls in 4 years, because he signs every ass clown, Buffoon, murderer, jay walker, and malcontent he can get his hands on. T.O.,PACMAN JONES, AND TANK JOHNSON were sopped up like gravy with a biscuit as soon as they were out of work. Outside of Making It Rain 101, and How to Avoid Jail Time When You Committ a Felony what the fuck do Pacman and Tank Johnson bring to the table. What the fuck is Tank's real name? His mother didn't name him that shit. They bring nothing to that fragile ass lockeroom and I'm apalled at the lengths Jerry will go to try and win. That lockeroom is filled with overpaid mutherfuckers who are being led around by T.O. and can't think for themselves. There is nothing wrong with giving someone a second chance as long as there is a support system around them and they realize that they get no more chances.


• Right now the only players I would keep are Demarcus Ware, Barber, Jones, Chioce, Whitten,Creyton,Ratliff, James, Roy Williams(safety),N. Folk, McBriar. That's it. A LB, 3 RB'S,TE,WR,MLB,S,K, and P. Everyone else can go to Hell.


• Fire Wade Phillips and make him the defensive coordinator. Bring in Bill Cowher. Can you imagine if Flozell Adams jumped offside on 3rd and inches? Cowher would grab his facemask and let his ass have it and you know spit would be flying all in his face, because that's how Bill Talks. Then for the next five minutes he would have that growl on his face and Flozell wouldn't dare jump offsides again. This team needs discipline and leadership from their head coach and I know Bill Cowher is to intelligent to come here and coach for an owner that can't shut the fuck up. Also Jason Garrett should have taken the Ravens job, because he has been getting called out lately. T.O. and now Romo has questioned the gameplan and playcalling done by yourself. Funny I never here Big Ben calling out his offensive coordinator. Peyton never calls his coordinator out after a bad game neither, but then again he would be calling out himself. The bottom line is and this is the Damnest bottom line that I have ever bottomed line. Those who ignore their history are doomed to repeat it. T.O. and Romo are buddies with Jerry Jones and therfore they are above the crew. Remember the Steelers game when Choice and the D played their asses off and Romo sucked. Who got criticized? Remember the Ravens game same scenerio. Who got criticzed and who didn't? When Romo fucks up repeatedly and Jones says nothing about him. T.O. calls out everyone including the ball boy and doesn't get reprimanded for it. Look at Bellicheck wrong and that's your ass. Robert Craft New England Pat's owner doesn't call up Matt Cassell and say if Randy was giving more effort we would have won. Robert doesn't call Brady a bitch for not playing with his injury, but that's the type of ownership I have in Texas. A GODDAMN SHAME.


• Now onto the game. 44-6 in a game with your season on the line. Didn't the Deadskins hold the Eagles to 3 points last week in a similiar situation. Terrence Newman said the Cowboys are the most talented team in Football. See it's that type of over inflated dumbass thinking that has the Boys in trouble now. Just because you go to the Pro Bowl, doesn't mean your great. I talk to Bill Parcells this morning and I reminded him of something he said three years ago. He told the world be careful of annointing Romo as the next and he also warned us that there would be days like this. Romo has used up his benefit of the doubt collaterall with me after blaiming his turnovers on poor protection and a whack ass scheme. Not his inaccurate ass throwing. Did you see Benedict Reid leading the the Fans in singing the Eagles fight song.? Bradie James got into an altercation with a fan yesterday, because the fan had a sign that said Cowboys have no heart and Wade Phillpis is an embarrasement to the Star. First of all the fan was not lying. Second he should have went after the The Eagles and his teamates with that type of agression. We might have played better and looked like we gave a fuck. Tell Pacman just go out of bounds when 10 guys surround you on a punt, all the shucking and jiving in the world won't free you up stupid. 5 turnovers. Whatever happened to protecting the ball? One last thing what the fuck did we kick a field goal in the 4th quarter down 41 points for. Was it a momentum thing to get us back in the game. I know I would feel better if I was down by only 38 compared to 41.


• I heard Big Ben got fucked up and suffered a concussion. I know people at home are saying why can't that be Hines Ward.


• Indy Colts 12-4. Peyton Manning is my MVP. This is the only team capable of beating the Ravens. Could another Super Bowl be in their future. Don't bet against the real Manning, I wouldn't.


• I really wanted Brett to make the Playoffs and shove it in the Packers face. In a private moment he shared with me last night he said he made have thrown his last pass in the NFL. We have heard this from Brett before, but this time he seemed at peace with himself. Anyway the NFL will never be the same without the original Gun slinger from the Bay.


• From Worst to First. No one saw this shit coming. The Tuna is no joke. They called him a fool for getting rid of Jason Taylor. Second guessed him for his choice of head coaches and for getting limped armed Chad Pennington as his starting QB. 11-5 and a date with the Ravens is his gift for this suprised turn around. When asked about Ray Lewis The Tuna replied he would look awfully good running this D. Don't be suprised if the Dolphins go after Ray hard and make him an offer he can't refuse. What Hurricane can turn down playing in Miami for the right price? That's like Kanye West actually hitting a note. It's not going to happen.


• The Giants might actually repeat. Ain't that some shit and without Plaxico. With that D and a healthy Jacobs don't bet against it. If the dfensive coordinator for the Giants doesn't get any job offers in the offseason, I will be pissed. Get his ass away from them.


• If Brian Billick can get fired then so can John Grudden. 9-4 leading your division and then you loose 3 straight games and your D falls apart. Is anyone calling for his head. I guess that's what happens when you coach in Tampa Bay instead of New york, Dallas or Philly. What does Tampa do well anyway?


• As much as I admire McNabb. I hate Bennedict Reid and those Eagles. You will probably win, But I hope your team gets fucked up Rafiq.


• I am now officially rooting for the Ravens in the playoffs. Deal with it mutherfuckers. That D is without a doubt top notch and the offense is producing.


• Norv Turner and the Chargers have heart. 4-8 and you win 4 straight and make the playoffs after all that scrutiny. That's impressive. But what else would you expect from a Jimmy Johnson disciple. Except for the ring who has been the better QB Eli or Rivers. I know that's like saying except for her face who is better looking Hale Berry or Esther Rolle(FLORIDA EVANS FROM GOOD TIMES). I'm just saying Phillip Rivers put up some impressive numbers this year and unlike Eli he can actually carry his team. LT has not performed at all this year and his his best years are probably behind him.


• How do you go 11-5 not make the playoffs and do your best coaching job of your career coming off an undefeated season. Ask Bill Bellicheck the best coach in all of sports. That's right I said it. His team is always focused and prepared and they never make excuses. They loose argubly the best QB in the game and continue to play well. The Boys loose their QB for a few weeks and all hell breaks loose. When Cassell struggled no one said shit. Brad Johnson Struggled and his own coach was counting down the days until Romo came back. In Bellicheck system No one man is above the crew. AMEN


• I was exchanging text messages with Marshall Faulk when he let it slip that he wouldn't mind coaching the Rams. I told him to stick to his day job, but this is something that he has been thinking about for a while. Working with the NFL Network gives him access to film on everyone and much like Triple H he has become a student of the game. A modern day Cerebral Assassin so to speak. Don't count him out when the Rams begin thier pusuit for a headcoach, but word to the wise Kurt Warner and Isaac Bruce ain't there brother. Don't do it.


• Thank You Detroit for making history. 0-16 . The Greek Philospher Socrates once told me IT IS BETTER TO HAVE LOSS ALL OF YOUR GAMES THAN TO HAVE JUST LOSS ONE. Losing builds no character.


• You heard it hear first. There is a good chance that all four road wildcard teams will win this weekend. Atlanta,Baltimore, Philly and the Colts.


• The High Five or should I say The Elite Eight:


• 1)NY GIANTS 12-4 THE GMEN KNOW WHAT IT TAKES TO WIN IT ALL


• 2)TENNESSEE TITANS 13-3 CAN KERRY COLLINS LEAD THIS YOUNG BUT TALENTED BUNCH


• 3)INDY COLTS 12-4 PEYTON MANNING NUFF SAID


• 4)BALTIMORE RAVENS 11-5 WHEN KNOW THEY HAVE D BUT WHERE THE HELL DID THAT O COME FROM. THAT'S SOME SCARY SHIT


• 5)CAROLINA PANTHERS 11-5 CONSISTANTLY GOOD ON BOTH SIDES, BUT I DONT TRUST THE QB


• 6)PITTSBURGH STEELERS 12-4 HAVE TO GET THAT SWAGGER BACK. NO DOUBT THE TOWELS WILL BE OUT


• 7)ATLANTA FALCONS 11-5 ROOKIE QB AND I STILL LIKE THEM


• 8)MIAMI DOLPHINS 11-5 DO YOU BELIEVE IN THE TUNA


• Coach of the Year Tony Sporano


• MVP Peyton Manning


• Defensive Player of the Year Ed Reed


• Rookie of the Year Matt Ryan


• Offensive Player of the year Drew Brees


• Buffoon of the Week:


• Jason Richardson for leaving your man wide open for the game winning three to double Tony Parker who obviously didn't want to shoot. The look on the Daddy's Face after the game was over was priceless. The Daddy is Shaq to yall clueless mutherfuckers.


• The Real Buffoon is two time nominee and future Hall of Famer Jerry Jones. This mutherfucker had the audacity to say the coaching staff will remain intact and there will be know real changes. Hey Sam what do they put in the drinking water down there, because this mutherfucker is dillusional. Either he is in denial or he is smoking that pure 100% uncut Columbian shit. 9-7 and and that fucked Eagles squad makes the playoffs over you with probably half your payroll. Your a BUFFOON for having a brand new stadium that costs 1.5 billion dollars and putting that whack ass product out there to play in it. I guess your selling point will be come out and see the Cowboys it can't get any worse. or at least were not the Orioles. I know that's low. Send in your nominees for Buffoon of the week. I will let you have a say next week.

NBA LOW DOWN OPENING NIGHT

1. Did you see that BITCH ASS Paul Pierce crying when he got his ring last night. What the fuck was he crying for? He is a millionare, gets paid for something we all do for fun, or is the fact he fucks different bitches every night in a different city. I wish my life was that fucked up. Boston will not repeat as champions.
2. The Lakers may well be the deepest team in the NBA. If Odom accepts his role as the 6th man the sky is the limit. The only player on the Lakers with no game is Luke Walton. Portland was the just the first victim and Brandon Roy you are not on Kobe's level.
3. Portland I will believe the hype when I see it. They are already calling Oden a bust and it's just been one year. SAM BOWIE, BILL WALTON, ARVIDAS SABONIS, AND GREG ODEN. What is it with Portland big men and bad wheels?
4. The New Orleans Hornets I want to see them do it again. They are talented, but now they are the favorites. Totally different expectations now . They can't sneek up on anyone now.
5. The Daddy says it on and he is going to bring a title to the valley of the sun. Iam curiuos to see how the team that used to be the youngest, but now is one of the oldest does this year. You fucked up Shaq when you left Kobe.
6. The Spurs are really going to suffer without Manu. Let's see Duncan perform with only one other star. Then we will see just how good he is.
7. Everybody thinks the Rockets are the best team in the west yeah OK. Has McGrady gotten out of the first round yet.
8. Queen James has enough talent on his team to win now. He has Ben Wallace(the best defender on the planet), Big Z, Wally Z.,Boobie Gibson,Mo Williams and a collection of shooters. He was one quarter away from beating the Celtics, so stop talking about his lack of help. For the record he is the second best player on the planet.
9. Watch out for the Grizzlies they are my sleeper team. Yeah right.
10. Remember when Vince Carter used to dunk.
11. Remember when AI used to cross bitches up.
12. Remember when Sacremento was good.
13. What happened?
14. Only half of the teams in the NBA make money. Thank A PIMP NAMED STERN FOR THAT.
15. THE HIGH FIVE
16. 1) LA LAKERS
17. 2) BOSTON CELTICS
18. 3)NEW ORLEANS HORNETS
19. 4)UTAH JAZZ
20. 5) DETROIT PISTONS