NFL LOW DOWN WEEK 7

I apologize about last week's edition not hitting the air waves, but it was due to technical difficulties. I realize that yall junkies need your football fix, so I'm getting you The Lowdown extra early so appreciate it. My rant this week is about that shit I was forced to watch on my expensive big screen 46 inch LCD Samsung 1080p Television yesterday. I understand you want to promote the game over seas so you televise the Pats vs the Bucs nationally and everyone has to watch it. Cool but when that shit starting getting out of hand right after the coin flip why did CBS not switch to something more exciting like that Raiders Jets game that was 38-0. If I want to watch Brady light up buffoons I will replay that Titans ass whipping from last week in my head, because that is where it is embedded. The game on Fox was no better. The Bengals treated the Bears like it was there homecoming game, but that's only part of the problem. After the Vikings Steelers game the Fox post game analysists told us to get ready for the Cowboys Falcons game and you know I was as happy as a prositute with bag of dicks. Only that shit didn't happen. Remember back in the day when you were watching NWA WORLWIDE WRESTLING on channel 54 and David Crockett and Tony Shivonne would hype up a match that was going to take place between the 4 horsemen and Dusty Rhodes, Nakita Koloff and the Road Warriors. You would sit on the edge of that bed for 58 minutes waiting for that fucking match to happen. Then the music hits the Horsemen come down, one minute left and then the music hits and the The Warriors,Dusty and Nakita come down. 30 seconds left they are about to lock up . David is still hyping up the match saying Tony it's about to happen. Then the credits start coming down the screen goes blank and you know what you here ( you here the crowd screaming and yelling hoo hoo hoo everytime Dusty connects with an elbow)sorry we will see you next week and that's it.All that so I can stand there holding my dick in my hand looking stupid wondering what just happen. That's how I felt when the Bengals Bears game came on and to top it off they never switched to the Dolphins Saints game until after that masacre was over. What the fuck? If a game is out of hand and the outcome is not in doubt switch that shit so we can see something worth viewing. The only drama in that game was whether or not Cedric Benson was going to rush for 200 yds. I can understand if you live in Chicago or Cincinatti and you show those cities the whole game, but give me something where the defecit is less than 30 points and I will be satisfied. I don't often complain about the NFL, BUT THIS SHIT NEEDS TO CHANGE GODDAMITT. I'm not normally off on Sundays, so I expect some good shit on when I am there. Don't make me start watching NASCAR mutherfuckers. Now on to the Lowdown.

• SCORES AND COMMENTS:
• Packers 31 Browns 3- What is the Man idiot doing to this franchise?
• Texans 24 49ers 21-I think the book is out on the niners and now we will see just how good of a coach Singletary is. This is not highschool football. It takes more than motivation, so he better brush up on his Xs and Os.
• Chargers 37 Chiefs 7- Hey Norv win a game that counts against some competition.
• Colts 42 Rams 6- Right now they are the best team in Football.
• Steelers 27 Vikings 17 - I watched this shit and I still can't believe what I saw. Watching a Steelers game is like watching a fucking movie. For 3 hours on Sunday you just sit back and you watch action, suppense, commedy and some of the most unbelievable bullshit you have ever seen in your life. Remember when Rocky beat the Russian and you were like how in the fuck did that happen? That's what happen yesterday and I don't have to go into details, because you saw that shit yourself.
• Pats 35 Bucs 7- No QB and and a coach with no clue. What a hell of a decision that was putting your franchise QB in the game down 28 to the Pats late in the 4th quarter to perform mop up duty. That's how you build confidence in your team and inspire them to greatness. Have your QB face Bellicheck and that pass rush straight off the bench. As a headcoach you will probably be one and done.
• Jets 38 Raiders 0- All I can say is Mark Sanchez was seen eating a hot dog on the bench during the game. Nuff said. Can we please drug test the Eagles, because they had to be on that shit to have loss to this team.,
• Bills 20 Panthers 9- Hey Coach Fox resign already, because it doesn't get any worse than this. My fault you could have loss to the Deaskins.
• Bengals 45 Bears 10- Child please Cedric Benson looks good. Jay Cutler needs some receivers bad. Oh my bad he had them up in Denver. Still like being a Bear Jay. Somewhere Mike Tomzack and Vince Evans are saying this is some bullshit.
• Cowboys 37 Falcons 21- Everyone said that Ryan was the better QB and the Falcons were the better team. If that is the case I like being bad. Miles Austin is a perfect example of how hard work and hunger payoff. Here that Roy Williams.
• Saints 46 Dolphins 34- I have never seen that many dropped balls in my life. No I'm lying I got to watch T.O. perform for the Boys the last 3 years. Memo to the Dolphins run the wildcat and throw to the white boy often and early.
• Cardinals 24 Giants 17-He Eli play ball and stop trying to imitate your brother. Did you see Eli changing plays and redirecting his offense. They looked confused and downright awlful. If Arizona plays like this the rest of the year they could go back to the big dance.
• WHAT I LEARNED IN WEEK 7?
• I learned that if you don't have a QB you are screwed. Tampa, Cleveland, Oakland,Tennessee, St. Louis and Washington are horrible and unwatchable.
• I learned that if you don't put pressure on the QB you are not going to win and you better have book end corners. I saw the Cardinals put 9 men in the box yesterday and dare the wrong Manning to beat them through the air. Kyle Bowler never saw 9 men in the box and he used to handoff to Jamal all day. My boy Greg brought up a good point. The Giants receivers can't beat man coverage. Zone them up and the Real Steve Smith looks like Jerry Rice. Man Them up and the Real Steve Smith looks like Travis Taylor. Slow ,confused and all fucked up.
• I learned that you better outscore the Saints, because whatever it is they do no one has figured it out yet. Drew Brees throws for 400 yds., but no one get's 100yds receiving. They look like USC, becuase after Brees and Bush I don't know anyone.
• I learned that the Deadskins are worst than I thought. They had a bye week and they still loss. Go figure. Take that mutherfucker and you know who you are.
• I learned that big receivers are the in thing. Rice who looks like a fake ass Randy Moss and Harvin who play for the Vikings look like a pair of wingmen for the Lakers. Brett Favre drops back and lays it out and they go get it. That beats throwing to Devan Hester and Mark Clayton who are both 5 foot 9 with Prince high heel boots on.
• I learned that Adrian Peterson is a combination of Barry Sanders and Emmitt Smith. Did you see that play when he hit the x button and then the R1 button when he ran over Ike Taylor and then put that spin on Polamalu. He is a freak of nature and he is the best in the business. His runs for no gains looks good. Goose and Moose were throwing compliments at him like he was Megan Fox. He's good , but not that good. Ain't that much dick riding in the world.
• And finally I learned that when Brett Favre throws an interception it's the receivers fault and that when Jamarcus Russell the man with those child bearing hips throws an interception that was the result of a dropped pass by his receiver it's his fault.
• OUT OF BOUNDS:
• When is enough enough? We have never won a National Championship, but fuck were we ever the worst. How in the hell do you explain loosing to Duke on Saturday. Not in Cameron on the basketball court, but on the grid iron where I don't know if anyone has ever been drafted to the NFL. What is Fridge doing to Maryland? You know how hard it is to get someone to come to Duke to play football. You have a better chance of getting Rush Limbaugh to speak at Morgan's Homecoming or attending a play with your girl that actually shows black men taking care of their children and being faithful. How do you top this dispicable dsiplay of buffonary at it's finest. Why don't you schedule Frostburg St., or The Minute Men of Bozack U so that they can further add embarasment to our once proud University. Much like I did to the Orioles I'm done until The Fridge is gone. Free my Terps.
• THE HIGH FIVE:
• 1)Idianapolis Colts 6-0: Who is going to be the team that stops Peyton from winning.
• 2)New Orleans Saints 6-0: They are a real life Tecmo Bowl Team.
• 3)Minnesota Vikings 6-1:Should have won yesterday.
• 4)Denver Broncos 6-0: Josh McDaniels is doing something right. Bmore is next.
• 5)New England 5-2: Is Brady all the way back. Time will tell.
• STOCK UP STOCK DOWN:
• STOCK UP MILES AUSTIN:6REC 171YDS 2TDS. HE DESRVES TO START.
• STOCK UP OWEN DANIELS:7REC 123YDS 1TD. TEXANS TE IS ON FIRE.
• STOCK UP TONY ROMO:311 YDS 3TDS. NO INTERCEPTIONS
• STOCK UP DEMARCUS WARE: 2SACKS. MADE LIFE MISERABLE FOR RYAN
• STOCK UP CEDRIC BENSON:189 YDS 1TD. GOT REVENGE ON OLD TEAM
• STOCK UP TOM BRADY: 308YDS 3TDS: HE'S BACK
• STOCK UP PEYTON MANNING:235 YDS 3TDS. IS HIS STOCK EVER DOWN.
• STOCK UP:CARDINALS D: #1 AGAINST THE RUN. WHO KNEW.
• STOCK DOWN JOHN FOX: LOSING TO THE BILLS AT HOME GETS YOU FIRED.
• STOCK DOWN BUCS OFFENSE: WHAT IS YOUR GAMEPLAN?
• STOCK DOWN BEARS D: WHERE ARE YOU URLACHER
• STOCK DOWN MAN IDIOT: WISH YOUN HAD BRAYLON AND WINSLOW BACK
• STOCK DOWN DEADSKINS: YOUR PLAY CALLER WAS RUNNING A BINGO PARLER
• STOCK DOWN RAMS MANAGEMENT: KYLE BOWLER IS YOUR QB
• BUFFOON OF THE WEEK:
• Who is a bigger buffoon Lamar Odom or Steve Phillips of Espn who had an affair with a chick that needs to get dna tested to prove she is indeed a woman. Steve Phillips is a married man who felt the need to cheat on his wife with Aunt Esther and Grady's love child just so he could bust a nut. Now his wife is divorcing him, he lost his job and he has to pay the five. Lamarr on the overhand analyzed his situatiuon something he is not good at and decided on a prenup. He gave the wrong Kardashian $1,000,000 a year, Laker tickets for fer family for life,a house for her mother and her, a brand new Bentley everytime they make a new model and a per diem per month. Sounds like she got 10 year deal with a players option and the ability to opt out. . How would you feel if some mutherfucker like Ray J was driving your shit, living in a house you brought , fucking your bitch ( you saw the tape) and sitting courtside watching your ass entertain him. Sounds fucked up don't it. Can you say O.J..That's the dumbass scenerio Lamar Odom agreed too. The wrong Kardsahian makes out either way. She has access to your shit now and whenever one of you wake the fuck up and decide this whole thing was dumb she is going to get paid like Brian Billick does by the Ravens for doing nothing. What were you thinking? I would have told her ass your not Kim Bitch so stop tripping . I love you we can make this shit work, but if it doesn't work out you take your shit and I will take mine and we will go our seperate ways. But no she sucked that dick like only a Kardashian can and he said ok I do. Hey Lamarr I told you last year, don't make a decision unless you hit M&M'S FIRST. Sugar dependancy can't go untreated. Blake Griffin the number pick in the draft doesn't have those type of perks in his contract. The Lakers made you work and sweat and beg for your shit and here comes the wrong Kardashian and she gets paid because of her incredible ability to dribble balls with her mouth. Because you agreed to this shit and brought this on yourself you Lamarr Odom are my Buffoon of the week.
• I'm out like Jim Zorn's dignity.