NFL LOW DOWN WEEK 5

Let me start off this week by saying that my rant is exclusively my comments and my feelings and that my staff and my interns that work for me should by no means be held accountable for my viewpoint. Can anyone tell me when Jessie Jackson or Al Sharpton became official leaders or spokes people for myself or my race? Because if you can then I must have missed the memo or been in a comma for 38 years. I don't remember electing any of these guys to publicly speak for me or lead me anywhere. Why are we the only race of people that are vilified whenever certain self appointed leaders speak and then we are lumped in together like we all agree with that shit. The only things Jackson, Sharpton and myself have in common are we are Black, have bozacks and we enjoy sexing our women. Other than that I don't know them and they don't know me. Which leads me to there feelings about Rush Limbaugh and his desire to have a minority ownership of the Rams? Who gives a fuck if he wants to help purchase the Rams? That is his God given right. Kyle Bowler is the fucking QB. Who protested when Jay Z bought a minority ownership of the Nets or Usher with the Cavs or Serena Williams with the Dolphins. Oh I get he is racist and he says offensive things and he is not sensitive to all races. Who the fuck is? I am not a racist but I know I can offend a lot of motherfuckers real quick and I say insensitive shit to people everyday. Jay Z calls women Bitches and hoes,Black people niggers and says anything that he wants on wax and calls it being real, but yet because he is black we give him a pass and condone his actions. Now I'M NOT PICKING ON JAY OR CALLING HIM RACIST, BUT I'M JUST SAYING WE ARE MIXING APPLE AND ORANGES AND GOING AFTER THE WRONG CAUSES. Does Rush say a lot of insensitive shit and offend a lot of people. Yes he does and that is how he makes his money. He is a fucking radio host. We have a Black President and we are still acting as if this is the 60's like Rush is calling for us to be deported and shipped out of the country. Hey Jessie and Al let the NFL handle their business and concentrate on more news worthy topics instead of trying to cock block Rush. Remember his comments about MCNABB that got him fired from the worldwide sports leader. ( The Media is protecting Donovan because he is black and if he was white he would be criticized constantly because he is not that good). He is right to a certain extent. We all bring race to the table when talking about sports. Boxing is still looking for the Great White Hope,What about a Black Goalie in Hockey or Blacks in NASCAR, Dirk is supposed to be the next Larry Bird and Why don't white guys play Running back. There is nothing wrong with asking questions or debating topics. The thing is you judge a person on skin color instead of the contents of the message he is delivering. Remember what Jessie said about our President. Yeah that shit about cutting off his fucking balls. How quickly we forget. I have three motherfucking leaders on this planet. My Mother , My Father and President Obama. Not Jessie or Al and don't forget that shit. Now on the fucking Lowdown. I'm tired of dealing with fucking Buffoons.

• WHAT I LEARNED IN WEEK 5:
• I learned that if your are a college team and you need to schedule a home coming game next year that the Raiders and the Bucs are available. The Raiders are the most poorly run franchise in sports (shout out to the Orioles) and I actually feel sorry for the Silver and Black. Al Davis gives Bobby Bowden hope and inspiration to continue coaching from the grave. Jamarcus Russel makes me yearn for the days of Ryan Leaf,Akili Smith and Dave Kingler. Your fucking head coach regularly appears on America's Most Wanted and your game plans are derived from the first Tecmo Bowl when there were like a total of eight plays for offense and defense. Roger Goddell step in and do something about this shit before Al Davis trades all of next years draft picks to the Patriots for the rights to talk to negotiate with Tom Brady's newborn. Gotta start rebuilding somehow.
• I learned that Eli and Peyton might be on a collision course for the Super Bowl. Those two teams look awfully similar right now and they look unbeatable. Just remember it is a week 5 observation and one injury or loss can change things quick.
• I learned that the Deadskins should be 0-5 and that Jim Zorn needs to get his resume ready.
• I learned that Andre Johnson is a bad motherfucker. He looked better in defeat than Fitzgerald looked in winning. He looks like T.O. with hands.
• I learned that the Refs make plenty of bad calls, but they don't have vendettas against teams like Ravens fans think.
• I learned that if Jay Cutler was still in Denver with those weapons and that D the sky would be the limit.
• I learned that no matter who Peyton throws to he is a bad Sum Bitch.(shout out to Stone Cold Steve Austin). This motherfucker is so precise he does everything in his life according to the principles of the two minute drill. When he is having sex with his wife he calls audibles and makes adjustments based off her body movements. At the birth of his first child he had the doctors go no huddle and they used silent counts when delivering the baby because he wanted to simulate the effect of crowd noise. At his Grandfather's funeral he called a timeout, because he said the pall barrers were lined up in an illegal formation and he didn't want to get a flag. Peyton may go down as the greatest of all time.
• NECESSARY ROUGHNESS:
• I blame Florida St University, ESPN, and Bobby Bowden's family for allowing him to speak on the Mic and say dumb ass shit in front of millions after his team looses.. He had a nerve to ask if Georgia Tech actually punted during their game Saturday Night. Wait we have a Sports center update Georgia Tech just ran a triple reverse option and scores.They are threatening to break triple digits and become the first team in history to get credit for two victories in one night. His employees and family have an obligation to rain him in and prepare him for what his line of questioning will look like and how he should respond. If he is not calling plays or game planning opponents why aren't his coordinators up there answering for that shitty ass effort they put out. I know at the age of 80 if you can still function you should be allowed to still perform all of your duties as head coach. When I am 80 if I live to be that old, I hope I remember my name and I have on matching socks and clean underwear. If these things happen I will consider that day to be a good day. Bobby is a figure head for the University. He is shadow of his former self and that is not an indictment on him, but the people around him. Do me a favor and hide his keys from him, so that I can remember him for all that he accomplished and not the buffoonery I have witnessed over the past five years. You owe him this and having him embarrass himself in front of millions only add fuel to the fire. Shame on the University of FSU. Shame on his family and friends and Shame on ESPN for airing that shit. These are not facts. They are my opinions and this has been another episode of necessary roughness.
• STOCK UP STOCK DOWN:
• STOCK UP: MILES AUSTIN 10REC 250 YDS. 2TDS- WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO DO TO START IN BIG D
• STOCK UP: JEREMY MACLIN 142YDS 2TDS- THIS BOY LOOKS GOOD.
• STOCK UP: RODDY WHITE 210YDS- HE ATE UP A GOOD 49ERS DEFENSE
• STOCK UP: CHAD HENNE 130 QB RATING- THE REAL CHAD IS 2-0
• STOCK UP:MIAMI WILDCAT OFFENSE 16 SNAPS 110 YDS 6 1ST DOWNS 1TD- THIS NOT A GIMMICK FOR THEM. IT'S THEIR OFFENSE.
• STOCK UP: KYLE ORTON 35-48 351YDS- HE OUTPLAYED BRADY. ENOUGH SAID.
• STOCK UP: CEDRIC BENSON 27ATT 120 YDS 1TD- HE DID WHAT NO ONE HAS DONE IN 39 GAMES. RUN FOR 100YDS AGAINST THE RAVENS.
• STOCK UP: PEYTON MANNING 5 STRAIGHT 300 YD GAMES TO START THE SEASON. WHEN IS HIS STOCK EVER DOWN
• STOCK UP: MIKE ZIMMER BENGAL'S D COORDINATOR- 1TD GIVEN UP IN VICTORY OVER THE RAVENS.
• STOCK DOWN: JAGUAR'S D 4 SACKS IN 5 GAMES- THAT IS WHY YOU GOT BLOWN OUT.
• STOCK DOWN:DEREK ANDERSON 2-17 23YDS- HE IS THE STARTER?
• STOCK DOWN:JAMARCUS RUSSELL 13ATTS AND YOU LOSS BY 35 PTS-YOUR OWN TEAM IS AFRAID OF WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU LINE UP
• STOCK DOWN:WADE PHILLIPS: THE CHIEFS TOOK YOUR TEAM TO OVERTIME
• STOCK DOWN:JIM ZORN YOU OVER SEE THAT SHIT CALLED THE DEADSKINS.
• THE HIGH FIVE:
• 1)NY GIANTS 5-0: No holes. No weaknesses.
• 2)INDY COLTS 5-0: Peyton delivers and is always prepared.
• 3)DENVER BRONCOS 5-0: Imagine if Cutler was still there.
• 4)MINNESOTA VIKINGS 5-0: Keep getting better
• 5)NEW ORLEANS SAINTS 4-0: Don't tell me they have D now.
• FINAL THOUGHTS:
• How dare Peyton Manning use that thing called the forward pass to beat the Titans.
• The NFL is the only place where a Head coach can get fired for doing a bad coaching job on Sunday and get paid for analyzing other coaches on Monday.
• Serena looks real good in that ESPN magazine spread where athlete's are posing nude.
• Looks like Jerry Jones knew what he was doing by getting rid of T.O. a year early.
• I think Randy Moss is slowing down.
• If FSU truly wants to get better. Get rid of JIMBO SLICE AND EVERYONE ELSE ON BOBBY'S STAFF. The only pedigree they have right now is that of a losing University.
• Hey Baltimore do you miss Rex Ryan yet and somehow somewhere Brian Billick is smiling telling everyone I told you so. Who do you criticize now about the team being undisciplined? Brian, Chris McAllister and Bart Scott are gone.
• Just put flags on the QBs and and declare them off limits.
• Watching Bellicheck loose is like watching Jeter and Coach K loose. Ok I'M LYING NOTHING BEATS THE LOOK OF TORRE,JETER AND AROD AFTER THE YANKS LOOSE.
• BUFFOON OF THE WEEK:
• While trailing Atlanta 35-10 the Buffoon of the week intercepted a pass, put his right hand behind his helmet channeling his inner Deion and proceeded to high step from midfield only to have Roddy White strip the ball from him and regain possession for the Falcons. This act is truly buffoonish for two very good reasons. First you were down by 25 points. Just score and hand the ball to the refs. 2nd only Dennis Rodman attempts to do things from half court or midfield. In the 1989 NBA FINALS Rodman attempted a lay up from half court on a fast break that bounced high off the shot clock and to this day John Starks calls me and says you think I'm a buffoon. Deion starting strutting when the end zone was insight and everyone was behind him. Not when he first catches the ball dumb ass. This Buffoons comments afterwards were DRE IS GOING TO BE DRE. I LIKE TO HAVE FUN AND THAT IS WHAT I'M ABOUT. So let me get this straight you are all about losing, shucking and jiving and showboating win , loose or draw. I would pay good money to see the confrintation between you and Mike Singletary after that play. Good luck explaining that shit to him and getting him to understand that was just DRE BEING DRE. After you removed that foot from your ass and regained consciousness I heard you apologized. TOO LATE DRE BRLY YOUR ACTIONS HAVE EARNED YOU BUFFOON OF THE WEEK.
• I'M OUT LIKE TERELL OWEN'S DESIRE TO PLAY FOOTBALL IN BUFFALO.