NFL LOW DOWN WEEK 13

• I am going to start off this week by talking about a hot topic that has everybody up in arms. Why are we subjected to watching the Detroit Lions and there whack ass brand of ball every Thanksgiving? My take is it is tradition for the Lions to host this game and their fans deserve this treat. You may not know this, but back in the early 60's because of poor attendance the Lions owner had to come up with a way to get people to come to the games. He figured I could always spend more money and improve the product on the field. I could actually hold my GM and Head Coach accountable for getting positive results and then maybe the fans will come out. I could actually improve my front office personnel and my scouting dept. Wait what the fuck am I thinking that would actually require us to spend more money, make intelligent decisions and actually care about winning. Naw I will leave that to the Cowboys, Packers, Steelers, and the rest of the NFL that actually care about that shit. I know, how about we play on a day when know one else is playing and that way I can keep my millions and I don't have to worry about winning and that type of shit. We will play on Thanksgiving and charge double the amount, because these motherfuckers can't do nothing else , but eat all day anyway. That's how a Pimp thinks. For that reason alone let Detroit keep their Thanksgiving Day game. It could be worse. We could be subjected to watching Deadskins games.


• Sign of the Apocalypse and Why I no longer gamble? If I told you at the beginning of the season that the Boys and the Pats would not be in the playoffs, but the Ravens, the Cardinals, the Falcons, the Titans, and the Bucs would you would have called me a buffoon. If the season ended today that would be the case.


• Every time I want to anoint the Jets as THE CHOSEN ONE they do some crackhead shit like getting blown out at home by the Broncos. Go figure.


• And while I'm on the Broncos. Is it just me or do the Broncos and the Saints have the same identical problems? Both teams can score on anybody, but neither play any D. They are both capable of scoring 50 one week and 10 the next. Just an observation. This is not the Arena league get some D.


• I see Bitch ass Andy Reid started McNabb this week and the Eagles blew out the Cardinals. I guess you expect us to believe your benching of McNabb was part of your master plan to motivate your team and gice the Cardinals a false sense of security. Yeah right your still a Bitch and I hope McNabb goes somewhere else and you spend the next eight years searching for a QB like the Ravens have.


• Speaking of the Ravens they lead the league in margin of victory. They manufacture points the same way certain restaurants continue to serve food long after they have run out of real meat. They are just creative with that shit. I'm impressed. I figured we would see a BLACK PRESIDENT OF THE US before we would see the Ravens with a decent offense. Also there was a Todd Heap and Mark Clayton sighting on Sunday. Nice to know these guys can do more than just block and be decoys on offense. As long as the Ravens keep winning he can't say anything, but you know" WHAT YOU TALKING ABOUT WILLIS "MCGAHEE is mad as shit about not playing against the Bengals. That's like being on the Harlem Globetrotters and getting no time on the court while they are playing the Washington Generals. Keep your eye on that situation. One more thing you are only as good as your starting QB. Just remember Kyle Bowler when you are anointing Harbaugh as the next great coach you Billick haters.


• I'm not even going to comment on that ass whipping my Boys gave the Seahawks, but can you see the difference of having Romo and Newman there. Imagine if Roy and Felix Jones was there. Some teams like the Steelers rely on their whole team. Others like the Boys depend on their Star players. Two different philosophies same result.


• As much as I dislike the Giants I hate the Deadskins even more. The Deaskins are to pathetic to even comment on. Pause for a second you hear that sound. That was your playoff hopes leaving out the backdoor. Fuck the deadskins and your fans.


• Ravens do my bidding for me and whup that ass. When was the last time the Deadskins came to Bmore to play a game? I know the league can't stand the Ravens, but damn I can't remember ever seeing the Deadskins play here. Beat the Deadskins and put the dirt over their coffin.


• Cowboys and the Steelers. I expect an air display put on and for Romo and Whitten to have a big day. The Steelers are a great team , but the Boys need that game more.


• Hey GreenBay miss Brett Favre yet?


• The Colts are like Jason from Friday the 13th. Do these motherfuckers ever go away? No offensive touchdowns and they still win. What kind of Ravens shit is that? Is Dungy getting advice from Brian Billick on how to manufacture victories.


• Think about this scenerio. Marvin Lewis gets fired. Romeo Crennell gets fired. Brian Billick gets the Browns coaching job and hires Marvin as his defensive coordinator. Ravens fans would not want to see that shit happen would you. My sources tell me Brian is interested in the Lions job. Before you laugh he would be getting total control of the team. Coaching and shopping for the players. That's some Bill Parcells type shit right there.


• What the fuck happened to the Bills? I guess that's why you play the game.


• I need some help with this one. What the fuck do the Bucs do to win games? Who are their play makers and can I get some of that I do believe that I can achieve crack that they must be smoking.


• I know you have been waiting for it. Buffoon of the week: Too easy Plaxico Burress. You and I both know nothing positive happens at 2 in the morning in a club. First of all have you ever heard of a gun holster. You know that shit you actually carry a gun in. You were carrying that shit in your sweatpants like a stick up kid. Whenever you get the urge to take your shirt off and shake your ass on the dance floor with Joey Porter again go hire yourself personal security if you feel threatened by the other male dancers who are in attendance. Hey Jackass do know you could have shot your dick off. Try explaining that shit to a woman when your ready to do the damn thing. The mayor of New York wants to press full charges and send your ass to jail. I say that's not good enough. They should make you become a season ticket holder and make you watch Detroit Lion football, Baltimore Orioles baseball, and Oklahoma City Thunder basketball. That type of shit will scare anyone straight. If I did the same exact thing right now I would be braiding some dudes hair in prison while contemplating how I'm going to master the art of sleeping with my eyes open. You are a fortunate bastard. The Giants should cut your ass and you should be forced to endure a lifetime of catching passes from Kyle Bowler and Brad Johnson. Money, women, fame , fortune that can't touch having the respect of your homeys huh. Homeys over hoes right. Why would you carry an unlicensed gun in New York of all places where there is a no tolerance policy and you could convicted to up to 15 years if found guilty? That's like a white man walking down North and Long or Poplar Grove wearing a t-shirt that says I HATE NIGGERS. Nothing good can come from it. I just got a call from Sprewell and he says he wouldn't have even been that stupid. He said he could actually feed his family with the money your making. Plaxico welcome to the BUFFOON HALL OF FAME. In a side note does anyone other than my boy Wade remember Playmakers on ESPN. They took it off because that shit was too real for their asses. Shooting yourself at 2 in the morning with an unlicensed gun and the club and the hospital covering it up for you. They wouldn't even tell the police what happened sighting some privacy rule. That's some Playmaker shit for your ass.
• THE HIGH FIVE
• 1)NY GIANTS - THE BEST TEAM IN THE NFL HANDS DOWN
• 2)TENNESSEE TITANS - BEATING THE LIONS ACTUALLY RAISED THEIR STOCK
• 3)PITTSBURGH STEELERS - DOING THE MOST WITH THE LEAST
• 4)INDY COLTS - SOMETIMES IT'S BETTER TO BE LUCKY THAN GOOD
• 5) TAMPA BAY BUCS - YOU DON'T DESERVE THIS RANKING
• The BOYS AND THE RAVENS ACTUALLY DESERVE TO BE THERE. THE BOYS BEAT THE BUCS WITHOUT ROMO AND THE RAVENS CAN BEAT ANYONE EXCEPT FOR THE COLTS. THE PANTHERS ARE PROBABLY BETTER THAN THE BUCS.
• FROM MY MAN BUBBY: VICK WILL BE HOME BEFORE PLAXICO. I still can't believe he is doing time for dog fighting.
• MVP: TOM COUGHLIN FOR WINNING GAMES WHEN NO ONE GAVE YOUR TEAM A CHANCE
• GAME BALL: JASON WHITTEN,DEMARCUS WARE,DONAVAN MCNABB,MARK CLAYTON,JAY CUTLER,TONY ROMO,ADRIAN PETERSON AND CHRIS JOHNSON
• I'M OUT LIKE VICK MACKIE AND THE SHIELD