NBA LOW DOWN OPENING NIGHT

1. Did you see that BITCH ASS Paul Pierce crying when he got his ring last night. What the fuck was he crying for? He is a millionare, gets paid for something we all do for fun, or is the fact he fucks different bitches every night in a different city. I wish my life was that fucked up. Boston will not repeat as champions.
2. The Lakers may well be the deepest team in the NBA. If Odom accepts his role as the 6th man the sky is the limit. The only player on the Lakers with no game is Luke Walton. Portland was the just the first victim and Brandon Roy you are not on Kobe's level.
3. Portland I will believe the hype when I see it. They are already calling Oden a bust and it's just been one year. SAM BOWIE, BILL WALTON, ARVIDAS SABONIS, AND GREG ODEN. What is it with Portland big men and bad wheels?
4. The New Orleans Hornets I want to see them do it again. They are talented, but now they are the favorites. Totally different expectations now . They can't sneek up on anyone now.
5. The Daddy says it on and he is going to bring a title to the valley of the sun. Iam curiuos to see how the team that used to be the youngest, but now is one of the oldest does this year. You fucked up Shaq when you left Kobe.
6. The Spurs are really going to suffer without Manu. Let's see Duncan perform with only one other star. Then we will see just how good he is.
7. Everybody thinks the Rockets are the best team in the west yeah OK. Has McGrady gotten out of the first round yet.
8. Queen James has enough talent on his team to win now. He has Ben Wallace(the best defender on the planet), Big Z, Wally Z.,Boobie Gibson,Mo Williams and a collection of shooters. He was one quarter away from beating the Celtics, so stop talking about his lack of help. For the record he is the second best player on the planet.
9. Watch out for the Grizzlies they are my sleeper team. Yeah right.
10. Remember when Vince Carter used to dunk.
11. Remember when AI used to cross bitches up.
12. Remember when Sacremento was good.
13. What happened?
14. Only half of the teams in the NBA make money. Thank A PIMP NAMED STERN FOR THAT.
15. THE HIGH FIVE
16. 1) LA LAKERS
17. 2) BOSTON CELTICS
18. 3)NEW ORLEANS HORNETS
19. 4)UTAH JAZZ
20. 5) DETROIT PISTONS

NFL LOW DOWN WEEK 9

• The Cowboys beat the Bucs and the DEFENSE played like champions. That's the performance we should have had all year long. Brad Johnson makes Kyle Bowler look Dan Marino. Where is Drew Bledsoe when you need him? Brad looked terrible. How the hell can you over throw Roy Williams and T.O.? Next up the Giants. We gotta play perfect ball and hope Brad Johnson works out with Barry Bonds this week. I hope the juice works.
• Their are the Bloods, the Crips, and the Ravens. The Ravens are the baddest gang on the East Coast just ask that rookie RB for the Steelers Mendenhall. The Ravens put a hit out on Ward because of his aggressive play. Mendenhall through know fault of his own paid the price with his career. He made the mistake of running mouth to the crime boss Ray Lewis and got his shoulder fucked up. Heinz Ward their is a price you must pay and the body count is going to continue to mount until you pay up.
• The Arizona Cardinals and the Cleveland Browns have the best young talent in the game. You heard it here first a couple of blogs ago. Anquon Boldin and Larry Fitzgerald are the modern day Stallworth and Swann. They can do it all and both are sure fire hall famers barring injury. Kellen Winslow Jr., Braylon Edwards, Donte Stallworth, and Derek Anderson will be lighting up score boards for years to come. If either of these teams get any defense watch out.
• Now my take on Mike Singletary calling out Vernon Davis. Mike Singletary with his cross eyes and foaming at the mouth told Vernon Davis when I say whose the master you say sure nuff. He act like he was out there in battle with the Monsters of the Midway you don't yell and target your players like that in front of everybody. Deal with it behind closed doors. I think know matter what he was going to call somebody out. At the press conference Singletary sounded like Dr. King on steroids. He talked about respect, apologized for his team's play , and rambled on about Mike Ditka , the Bears , and what he was going to eat for dinner. I have no problem with him doing showing off for the Man , but once the emotion runs out I want to see your X'S AND O'S AND SOME WINS OUT OF YOUR TEAM. You will ultimately be judged on that not your discipline style.
• Steve Smith is a bad man. For my money he is the best WR in the league bar none. He catches one bomb per game and no corner outside of Deangelo Hall locks him down.
• IF PEYTON MANNING, TOM BRADY,AND KELLEN WINSLOW JR. CAN CONTRACT STAPH INFECTIONS FROM THE BEST PHYSICIANS MONEY CAN BUY. What does that say for the health care we get with our broke asses? Also Cleveland should not have fined Winslow for his comments he got staph infection in his nuts enough said.
• The only thing I can say positive about the Deadskins is I think they have only turned the ball over once this year. That is incredible. Other than that fuck the deadskins.
• Until somebody beats the Giants they are the best. That said fuck the Giants too.
• I heard the Bucs were the best team in the NFC until that team with all that character beat them.
• The Chiefs are the worst team in the NFL. Their owner makes me appreciate Peter Angelos and the Baltimore Orioles . Figure that shit.
• The Bengals are the most talented 0-8 team in history. Tell Chad he can always come to the Boys.
• Thank God for the Redwings, the Pistons and the Tigers, because the Lions sucked yesterday, they suck today, and they will suck tomorrow.
• Mike Martz could never coach for me . Interceptions too him are nothing more than short punts. He calls the same plays for his third string QB that he calls for his starter.
• Did you see Donovan Mcnabb laughing it up after his WR got fucked by Lawyer Milloy. His teammate was laid out like THE ROCK after catching a stunner from Stone Cold. Shouldn't he had been praying for his teammate's recovery. That's why people question his leadership skills.
• THE HIGH FIVE
• TENNESSEE TITANS 7-0 Still the best. Using Brian Billick's formula for success. Run and D
• NEW YORK GIANTS 6-1 Beat the Steelers and await their showdown with the Boys.
• CAROLINA PANTHERS 6-2 They say they have the best D. I know they have the best WR.
• WASHINGTON DEADSKINS 6-2 They remain clutch in the 4th quarter.
• PITTSBURGH STEELERS 5-2 Injuries are hurting this team, but when they are healthy their dangerous.
• Don't look now but their back. The Pats with no Brady are 5-2 and on top of their division. One of the dirtiest players in league history is out for the year and possibly his career that be RODNEY HARRISON. I can't say I feel bad for him, but the Pats do what they do and let it be known he won't be back next year. That's how you run your business.
• I'M OUT LET GREG ODEN .

NFL LOW DOWN WEEK 7

NFL LOW DOWN WEEK 6

• As I am sitting here writing another Low Down I'm reminded of the saying " ON ANY GIVEN SUNDAY". Now I know why I gave up gambling several years ago. You either have to be a fool or incredibly rich to bet on games in this era of parity. The COWBOYS, DEADSKINS,PATRIOTS, and the GIANTS all loss yesterday and were favorites in their games. There is a lot of hurt motherfuckers out there right now trying to think of ways to recoup that loot they loss yesterday.
• Memo to Jerry Jones FIRE WADE PHILLIPS DUMB ASS RIGHT NOW. I'M TIRED OF THIS SHIT! Losing to the Cardinals without Anquan Boldin is unacceptable. Who the hell looses in OT on a block punt? That's some pee wee league bullshit. That's some CHARLIE BROWN, LITTLE RASCALS SHIT. Wade Phillips is a nice guy, but he can't motivate for shit. Jerry Jones is to blame too. That beautiful ass star you see on the side of the helmet means something. Signing that Bitch ass Pacman Jones was the last straw. When you become a DALLAS COWBOY there is a certain standard you have to live up to. Making it rain and fighting your own bodyguards aren't apart of that. One more strike and he is out of the league, but he rathered go see Ludacris and fuck strange bitches. On a Wednesday night 52 players are sleep , because they have practice the next day. But nooooo not dumb ass Pacman. He just had to get his freak on and he was willing to take an ass whupping for it. This stupid motherfucker all 170 pounds of him wanted to fight a motherfucker who makes his living fucking people up. Drug test this motherfucker and get him off my team. I hope Roger Goddell suspends his dumb ass for life so he can go back to the hood, hang on the corner, holler at bitches and KEEP IT REAL. REAL DUMB! FUCK YOU PACMAN YOU HAVE IT ALL AND YOU ARE THROWING AWAY A CHANCE THAT GUYS LIKE ME WOULD KILL FOR. Fuck you.
• Sorry about that people, but I had to let that out.
• I told you guys a couple of weeks ago wait until the Giants play on Prime time. Look what happened to Eli like I said. They are good when they are the underdog, but when they are favorites and the spotlight is on they perform like a teenager having sex for the first time they don't know where to put it or what the fuck to do.
• The Patriots. I praised them weeks ago about being the model franchise in all of sports. If I would have known this is all it took for them to start loosing I would have done this years ago. The Chargers made their defense look slow and old. LT put a move on Adelius Thomas that had him spinning around like he was a member of the Temptations. I know Brady is the best and you can't replace him, but doesn't Moss look like he did when he played for the Raiders. Quinton Jammer covered him 1 on 1 . No one hand catches, no blinding speed and you think TO is a problem child. At least TO gives effort and wants the ball. Moss got his money and now he is ok. Just my observation.
• The Deadskins loss to the Rams made up for the fact the Cowboys loss. The Deadskins are a talented team and I'm impressed with their running game and their ability to dominate in the 4th quarter, BUT I STILL HATE THEM. I will give credit where credit is due. Until the Boys beat them they are a better team. Now kiss my ass Deadskins fans.
• Once again I told you so. Brian Billick shares a drink with Kyle Bowler after every Ravens loss. I told you guys the more things change the more they stay the same. The Colts whupped that ass, but I knew it was coming. If the Ravens want to improve take some of that money you invested in that defense and get some play makers on offense. Desmond Mason plays his ass off every week and has nothing to show for it. Heap is done and Clayton I don't have a clue what fuck he does. I think for the season he has one more catch than me and I don't play. Go after Roy Williams, Anquan Bolidan, and Tony Gonzalez. Let some of those line backers go. Keep Ray and draft some corners. Balance your team out.
• Here is an observation of mine so tell me what you think. Marvin Lewis a defensive coach has offense and no D. Romeo Cremmell a defensive head coach has offense and no D. John Harbaugh a special teams coach has one of the worst special teams in the NFL. Wade Phillips a defensive head coach has offense and no D. Tony Dungy a defensive head coach has offense and no D. Can anyone explain that shit. I think it has to do with the Salary Cap. You can't be great on both sides of the ball, but it's funny that those guys struggle with their speciality.
• The Bengals are the most talented 0-6 team in history.
• Character really shows when one is faced with adversity. No Romo, Mc Briar(my pro bowl punter), and no Felix Jones. How bout them Cowboys?
• The HIGH FIVE
• 1. TENNESSEE TITANS
• 2. PITTSBURGH STEELERS
• 3. BUFFALO BILLS
• 4. NEW YORK GIANTS
• 5.ARIZONA CARDINALS
• I gave praise to the Cardinals last week and I said my boys need to watch out for that team.
• Brett Favre watch. JETS 3-2, PACKERS 3-3. I think they still miss him in Green Bay.
• Memo to the Lions start the fuck over. Detroit fans the NBA season starts soon.
• I think the Chiefs from a talent standpoint may be the worst franchise in sports.
• MEMO TO AL DAVIS RILEY FROM THE BOONDOCKS SAYS PAY WHAT YOU OWE.
• I'M OUT LIKE KIMBO SLICE.

The High Five

1. New York Giants
2. Tennesee Titans
3. Washington Deadskins
4. Dallas Cowboys
5. Pittsburgh Steelers

NFL LOW DOWN WEEK 5

1. The Cowboys are 4-1 right now and they should not be happy. With the exception of not running the ball against the Deadskins I don't have a problem with the offense. The EFENSE on the other hand has sucked. That's right there is no D in Dallas. Jimmy Johnson and Bill Parcells would not have put up with shit. The Boys should have blown the Bengals out and sent a message to the league that they were upset about being dominated by the Deadskins. Instead they play like it's their birth right to win. They haven't won shit in years and if they keep it up Wade Phillips will only have himself to blame. He needs to tell T.O. to shut the fuck up, Romo needs to tell Jessica Simpson to shut the fuck up, and Phillips needs to tell the Efensive Coordinator to step the fuck up.
2. Even though I hate those bastards the Deadskins continue to impress. All of their remaining games against the NFC EAST are at home and they have an easy schedule coming up. If I see that Dumb Ass Eastern Motors commercial again where Portis, Randle El, Moss, and Campbell are tossing around those goddamn footballs I'm going to cancel my Satellite subscription and take up hoola hooping. I know there time is coming. They can't continue to play mistake free football. Only Tom Brady and the Pats can do that.
3. What the hell was Sage Rosenfels thinking in the Colts / Texans game. For those of you don't know he plays for the Texans. Sage tried his Air Jordan impersonation and tried to leap over a tall building in a single bound and got fucked up and fumbled. Somewhere Kyle Bowler was laughing his ass off and saying this fool is worst than me. THREE TURNOVERS IN 3MINUTES LED TO 21 UNANSWERED POINTS IN THE SAME TIMESPAN IN THE 4TH QUARTER AND THE COLTS WON. This is why the Texans will always be the Texans.
4. Can you remember the last time a team returned two punts for a touchdown and still loss. Just ask Reggie Bush and The Saints. The Vikings overcame those plays and won the game. At least Reggie is still banging Ray J's ex Kim Kardashian. As much as I want to say something I'm going to leave the punchlines to you.
5. Anquan Boldin and Larry Fitzgerald are the best 1-2 punch in the NFL. The Cowboys better be ready for the Cardinals potent attack.
6. Adam Pacman Jones got into a fight with his bodyguard at a Dallas Hotel Wednesday night. Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't that like slapping the shit out out the guy at King's Dominion who operates the roller coaster before he fully straps your ass in. Dumb ass move. What the fuck do you argue about with your bodyguard at 1:30 in the morning? If you can answer that question then you must be a shady ass individual.
7. For the second straight week Andy Reid wanted to prove his toughness and run the ball at the goaline instead of using Donavan Mcnabb legs to win the game. Brady and Manning would never stand for that and neither should Donovan. He is not Trent Dilfer. Andy trust your QB the Ravens, Chiefs, Vikings and Raiders wish they had one.
8. Don't look now , but the Packers are 2-3. Brett who?
9. What's more impressive The Giants and Titans being undefeated or the Dolphins beating the Patriots and the Chargers back to back? The Pats and the Chargers played in the AFC championship game last year.
10. Michael who. Matt Ryan is playing like a veteran and the Falcons have looked pretty good. They went into Lambeau and came out with a victory. Not many veteran QB'S can say that.
11. Finally there was a bad call in the Ravens Titans game. Tsizzle was called for illegal hands to the helmet penalty and he clearly hit Collins shoulder. That being said the Ravens Defense had 11 plays after that to keep the Titans out of the end zone. The Ravens said they loss the momentum. Momentum is only as good as what happens the play after that. The Steelers had the same thing happen to them against the Jaguars,except on the very next play they sacked the QB and forced them to punt. Two different games. The same scenario. Two different results. Momentum had nothing to do with it. One team made a defensive stop and won and the other team didn't and they loss. That simple. Get over it.
12. I'm out like Lou Pinella and the Cubs.

NFL LOW DOWN WEEK 4

1. POOR COACHING COSTS THE BOYS. HOW IN THE HELL DOES MARION THE BARBARION ONLY GET 7 CARRIES AND FELIX JONES DOES NOT CARRY THE BALL AT ALL. I BLAME WADE PHILLIPS AND THAT SUPOSSED GENIUS JASON GARRETT. I DON'T AND WILL NOT BLAME T.O., SO SHUT THE FUCK UP. JUST BECAUSE YOUR 7 YEAR OLD BEGS YOU FOR AN I-PHONE DOESN'T MEAN YOU GIVE IT TO HER WHILE YOU USE YOUR PRE PAID JOINT. COMMON SENSE HAS TO KICK IN AND YOU HAVE TO RUN THE DAMN BALL. AS MUCH AS I HATE THEM BASTARDS THE REDSKINS DESERVE TO WIN. IN A SIDE NOTE FUCK ROCK CARTWRIGHT FOR DANCING ON MY STAR AT THE END OF THE GAME. HOW BOUT THEM COWBOYS.
2. Poor coaching costs the Ravens. 1minute 40 seconds to go in the 4th qtr and you run the clock out. What the hell is Coach Harbough thinking. Brian Billick would have been run out of time for that decision. The more things change the more they stay the same. Todd Heap is one of the most expensive decoys in football and I heard Mark Clayton say its hard to get open when teams are using an eight man front and they are keying on the run. Demetrius Williams said I miss Kyle Bowler I need my touches. These passes are hitting me in stride and I am used to digging balls out of the dirt. Oh and by the way Herm Edwards says you play to win the game
3. Poor coaching costs the Eagles. Poor Andy Reid. You wanted to show the world that your a tuff guy. 4 straight runs against the Bears and up the middle using Buckhalter. That's like making a video about pissing on a young girl and wondering why your seen as a pevert. There is certain things you just don't do. After the first three tries I would have run a bootleg with Mcnabb and let him decide the outcome. Did you not see the trouble the Cowboys defense had with tackling him. That's one of those decisions Andy Reid wishes he could take back.
4. Poor Marvin Lewis. Chad I mean ochocinco is at it again. He said he loves the Cowboys, that he is going to kiss the star and he wants to play with T.O.. Ochocinco does not smoke crack, he doesn't smack up any bitches I know, he doesn't make it rain, and he hasn't done time. Yet he always manages to disrespect his team , his coach and ownership and he gets away with it. Chad is begging to be traded and the Bengals look like a desperate housewife trying to hold on to a man that has made it clear I DON'T LOVE YOU NO MORE.
5. Former NFL running back Travis Henry was recently arrested following a cocaine deal set up by the feds. Henry who has more money than you or me will ever make combined had a very good reason for doing this. Nine children with nine different women. You do the math.
6. Don't look now the Titans are 4-0 and Kerry Collins is looking like Trent Dilfer. Big game this week against the originators of kicking field goals and letting the Defense do all the work the Ravens. I'm picking the team with the nasty defense and the solid runnig game.
7. Hey Green Bay still loving that QB decision. Brett Favre only threw 6 touchdown passes and he said he is getting more comfortable by the day. Meanwhile back on the ranch Aaron Rodgers is hurt and looking more and more like a rookie
8. I blame Coach Wisenhunt for the hit on Anquan Boldin. What the hell are you doing throwing on the last play of the game down 20? This is not the BCS poll where the scores matter. That hit was so vicious Rodney Harrison and Bill Romanowski (TWO OF THE DIRTIEST PLAYERS EVER) said that was fucked up.
9. Must see game of the week: EAGLES VS THE SKINS. The Eagles are 2-2 and they are in a must win situation. GET THE POPCORN READY
10. A NEW ADDITION TO THE LOW DOWN. THE HIGH FIVE
11. 1)NY GIANTS 2)TENNESEE TITANS 3)BUFFALO BILLS 4)DALLAS COWBOYS 5)WASHINGTON DEADSKINS
12. SHOULD I DO FIVE TEAMS OR TEN LET ME KNOW.
13. I'M OUT LIKE THE NEW YORK YANKEES.