NFL PICKS WEEK 7

• SORRY ABOUT THE TARDINESS, BUT GET OVER IT .
• 1)TOUT 74-29
• 1)CLAYSON 74-29
• 3)BOB 71-32
• 3)RAFIQ 71-32
• 3)DAMON 71-32
• 6)SAM 70-33
• 7)GREG 69-34
• THE HEAT IS ON!

NFL LOW DOWN WEEK 7

I apologize about last week's edition not hitting the air waves, but it was due to technical difficulties. I realize that yall junkies need your football fix, so I'm getting you The Lowdown extra early so appreciate it. My rant this week is about that shit I was forced to watch on my expensive big screen 46 inch LCD Samsung 1080p Television yesterday. I understand you want to promote the game over seas so you televise the Pats vs the Bucs nationally and everyone has to watch it. Cool but when that shit starting getting out of hand right after the coin flip why did CBS not switch to something more exciting like that Raiders Jets game that was 38-0. If I want to watch Brady light up buffoons I will replay that Titans ass whipping from last week in my head, because that is where it is embedded. The game on Fox was no better. The Bengals treated the Bears like it was there homecoming game, but that's only part of the problem. After the Vikings Steelers game the Fox post game analysists told us to get ready for the Cowboys Falcons game and you know I was as happy as a prositute with bag of dicks. Only that shit didn't happen. Remember back in the day when you were watching NWA WORLWIDE WRESTLING on channel 54 and David Crockett and Tony Shivonne would hype up a match that was going to take place between the 4 horsemen and Dusty Rhodes, Nakita Koloff and the Road Warriors. You would sit on the edge of that bed for 58 minutes waiting for that fucking match to happen. Then the music hits the Horsemen come down, one minute left and then the music hits and the The Warriors,Dusty and Nakita come down. 30 seconds left they are about to lock up . David is still hyping up the match saying Tony it's about to happen. Then the credits start coming down the screen goes blank and you know what you here ( you here the crowd screaming and yelling hoo hoo hoo everytime Dusty connects with an elbow)sorry we will see you next week and that's it.All that so I can stand there holding my dick in my hand looking stupid wondering what just happen. That's how I felt when the Bengals Bears game came on and to top it off they never switched to the Dolphins Saints game until after that masacre was over. What the fuck? If a game is out of hand and the outcome is not in doubt switch that shit so we can see something worth viewing. The only drama in that game was whether or not Cedric Benson was going to rush for 200 yds. I can understand if you live in Chicago or Cincinatti and you show those cities the whole game, but give me something where the defecit is less than 30 points and I will be satisfied. I don't often complain about the NFL, BUT THIS SHIT NEEDS TO CHANGE GODDAMITT. I'm not normally off on Sundays, so I expect some good shit on when I am there. Don't make me start watching NASCAR mutherfuckers. Now on to the Lowdown.

• SCORES AND COMMENTS:
• Packers 31 Browns 3- What is the Man idiot doing to this franchise?
• Texans 24 49ers 21-I think the book is out on the niners and now we will see just how good of a coach Singletary is. This is not highschool football. It takes more than motivation, so he better brush up on his Xs and Os.
• Chargers 37 Chiefs 7- Hey Norv win a game that counts against some competition.
• Colts 42 Rams 6- Right now they are the best team in Football.
• Steelers 27 Vikings 17 - I watched this shit and I still can't believe what I saw. Watching a Steelers game is like watching a fucking movie. For 3 hours on Sunday you just sit back and you watch action, suppense, commedy and some of the most unbelievable bullshit you have ever seen in your life. Remember when Rocky beat the Russian and you were like how in the fuck did that happen? That's what happen yesterday and I don't have to go into details, because you saw that shit yourself.
• Pats 35 Bucs 7- No QB and and a coach with no clue. What a hell of a decision that was putting your franchise QB in the game down 28 to the Pats late in the 4th quarter to perform mop up duty. That's how you build confidence in your team and inspire them to greatness. Have your QB face Bellicheck and that pass rush straight off the bench. As a headcoach you will probably be one and done.
• Jets 38 Raiders 0- All I can say is Mark Sanchez was seen eating a hot dog on the bench during the game. Nuff said. Can we please drug test the Eagles, because they had to be on that shit to have loss to this team.,
• Bills 20 Panthers 9- Hey Coach Fox resign already, because it doesn't get any worse than this. My fault you could have loss to the Deaskins.
• Bengals 45 Bears 10- Child please Cedric Benson looks good. Jay Cutler needs some receivers bad. Oh my bad he had them up in Denver. Still like being a Bear Jay. Somewhere Mike Tomzack and Vince Evans are saying this is some bullshit.
• Cowboys 37 Falcons 21- Everyone said that Ryan was the better QB and the Falcons were the better team. If that is the case I like being bad. Miles Austin is a perfect example of how hard work and hunger payoff. Here that Roy Williams.
• Saints 46 Dolphins 34- I have never seen that many dropped balls in my life. No I'm lying I got to watch T.O. perform for the Boys the last 3 years. Memo to the Dolphins run the wildcat and throw to the white boy often and early.
• Cardinals 24 Giants 17-He Eli play ball and stop trying to imitate your brother. Did you see Eli changing plays and redirecting his offense. They looked confused and downright awlful. If Arizona plays like this the rest of the year they could go back to the big dance.
• WHAT I LEARNED IN WEEK 7?
• I learned that if you don't have a QB you are screwed. Tampa, Cleveland, Oakland,Tennessee, St. Louis and Washington are horrible and unwatchable.
• I learned that if you don't put pressure on the QB you are not going to win and you better have book end corners. I saw the Cardinals put 9 men in the box yesterday and dare the wrong Manning to beat them through the air. Kyle Bowler never saw 9 men in the box and he used to handoff to Jamal all day. My boy Greg brought up a good point. The Giants receivers can't beat man coverage. Zone them up and the Real Steve Smith looks like Jerry Rice. Man Them up and the Real Steve Smith looks like Travis Taylor. Slow ,confused and all fucked up.
• I learned that you better outscore the Saints, because whatever it is they do no one has figured it out yet. Drew Brees throws for 400 yds., but no one get's 100yds receiving. They look like USC, becuase after Brees and Bush I don't know anyone.
• I learned that the Deadskins are worst than I thought. They had a bye week and they still loss. Go figure. Take that mutherfucker and you know who you are.
• I learned that big receivers are the in thing. Rice who looks like a fake ass Randy Moss and Harvin who play for the Vikings look like a pair of wingmen for the Lakers. Brett Favre drops back and lays it out and they go get it. That beats throwing to Devan Hester and Mark Clayton who are both 5 foot 9 with Prince high heel boots on.
• I learned that Adrian Peterson is a combination of Barry Sanders and Emmitt Smith. Did you see that play when he hit the x button and then the R1 button when he ran over Ike Taylor and then put that spin on Polamalu. He is a freak of nature and he is the best in the business. His runs for no gains looks good. Goose and Moose were throwing compliments at him like he was Megan Fox. He's good , but not that good. Ain't that much dick riding in the world.
• And finally I learned that when Brett Favre throws an interception it's the receivers fault and that when Jamarcus Russell the man with those child bearing hips throws an interception that was the result of a dropped pass by his receiver it's his fault.
• OUT OF BOUNDS:
• When is enough enough? We have never won a National Championship, but fuck were we ever the worst. How in the hell do you explain loosing to Duke on Saturday. Not in Cameron on the basketball court, but on the grid iron where I don't know if anyone has ever been drafted to the NFL. What is Fridge doing to Maryland? You know how hard it is to get someone to come to Duke to play football. You have a better chance of getting Rush Limbaugh to speak at Morgan's Homecoming or attending a play with your girl that actually shows black men taking care of their children and being faithful. How do you top this dispicable dsiplay of buffonary at it's finest. Why don't you schedule Frostburg St., or The Minute Men of Bozack U so that they can further add embarasment to our once proud University. Much like I did to the Orioles I'm done until The Fridge is gone. Free my Terps.
• THE HIGH FIVE:
• 1)Idianapolis Colts 6-0: Who is going to be the team that stops Peyton from winning.
• 2)New Orleans Saints 6-0: They are a real life Tecmo Bowl Team.
• 3)Minnesota Vikings 6-1:Should have won yesterday.
• 4)Denver Broncos 6-0: Josh McDaniels is doing something right. Bmore is next.
• 5)New England 5-2: Is Brady all the way back. Time will tell.
• STOCK UP STOCK DOWN:
• STOCK UP MILES AUSTIN:6REC 171YDS 2TDS. HE DESRVES TO START.
• STOCK UP OWEN DANIELS:7REC 123YDS 1TD. TEXANS TE IS ON FIRE.
• STOCK UP TONY ROMO:311 YDS 3TDS. NO INTERCEPTIONS
• STOCK UP DEMARCUS WARE: 2SACKS. MADE LIFE MISERABLE FOR RYAN
• STOCK UP CEDRIC BENSON:189 YDS 1TD. GOT REVENGE ON OLD TEAM
• STOCK UP TOM BRADY: 308YDS 3TDS: HE'S BACK
• STOCK UP PEYTON MANNING:235 YDS 3TDS. IS HIS STOCK EVER DOWN.
• STOCK UP:CARDINALS D: #1 AGAINST THE RUN. WHO KNEW.
• STOCK DOWN JOHN FOX: LOSING TO THE BILLS AT HOME GETS YOU FIRED.
• STOCK DOWN BUCS OFFENSE: WHAT IS YOUR GAMEPLAN?
• STOCK DOWN BEARS D: WHERE ARE YOU URLACHER
• STOCK DOWN MAN IDIOT: WISH YOUN HAD BRAYLON AND WINSLOW BACK
• STOCK DOWN DEADSKINS: YOUR PLAY CALLER WAS RUNNING A BINGO PARLER
• STOCK DOWN RAMS MANAGEMENT: KYLE BOWLER IS YOUR QB
• BUFFOON OF THE WEEK:
• Who is a bigger buffoon Lamar Odom or Steve Phillips of Espn who had an affair with a chick that needs to get dna tested to prove she is indeed a woman. Steve Phillips is a married man who felt the need to cheat on his wife with Aunt Esther and Grady's love child just so he could bust a nut. Now his wife is divorcing him, he lost his job and he has to pay the five. Lamarr on the overhand analyzed his situatiuon something he is not good at and decided on a prenup. He gave the wrong Kardashian $1,000,000 a year, Laker tickets for fer family for life,a house for her mother and her, a brand new Bentley everytime they make a new model and a per diem per month. Sounds like she got 10 year deal with a players option and the ability to opt out. . How would you feel if some mutherfucker like Ray J was driving your shit, living in a house you brought , fucking your bitch ( you saw the tape) and sitting courtside watching your ass entertain him. Sounds fucked up don't it. Can you say O.J..That's the dumbass scenerio Lamar Odom agreed too. The wrong Kardsahian makes out either way. She has access to your shit now and whenever one of you wake the fuck up and decide this whole thing was dumb she is going to get paid like Brian Billick does by the Ravens for doing nothing. What were you thinking? I would have told her ass your not Kim Bitch so stop tripping . I love you we can make this shit work, but if it doesn't work out you take your shit and I will take mine and we will go our seperate ways. But no she sucked that dick like only a Kardashian can and he said ok I do. Hey Lamarr I told you last year, don't make a decision unless you hit M&M'S FIRST. Sugar dependancy can't go untreated. Blake Griffin the number pick in the draft doesn't have those type of perks in his contract. The Lakers made you work and sweat and beg for your shit and here comes the wrong Kardashian and she gets paid because of her incredible ability to dribble balls with her mouth. Because you agreed to this shit and brought this on yourself you Lamarr Odom are my Buffoon of the week.
• I'm out like Jim Zorn's dignity.

NFL LOW DOWN WEEK 5

Let me start off this week by saying that my rant is exclusively my comments and my feelings and that my staff and my interns that work for me should by no means be held accountable for my viewpoint. Can anyone tell me when Jessie Jackson or Al Sharpton became official leaders or spokes people for myself or my race? Because if you can then I must have missed the memo or been in a comma for 38 years. I don't remember electing any of these guys to publicly speak for me or lead me anywhere. Why are we the only race of people that are vilified whenever certain self appointed leaders speak and then we are lumped in together like we all agree with that shit. The only things Jackson, Sharpton and myself have in common are we are Black, have bozacks and we enjoy sexing our women. Other than that I don't know them and they don't know me. Which leads me to there feelings about Rush Limbaugh and his desire to have a minority ownership of the Rams? Who gives a fuck if he wants to help purchase the Rams? That is his God given right. Kyle Bowler is the fucking QB. Who protested when Jay Z bought a minority ownership of the Nets or Usher with the Cavs or Serena Williams with the Dolphins. Oh I get he is racist and he says offensive things and he is not sensitive to all races. Who the fuck is? I am not a racist but I know I can offend a lot of motherfuckers real quick and I say insensitive shit to people everyday. Jay Z calls women Bitches and hoes,Black people niggers and says anything that he wants on wax and calls it being real, but yet because he is black we give him a pass and condone his actions. Now I'M NOT PICKING ON JAY OR CALLING HIM RACIST, BUT I'M JUST SAYING WE ARE MIXING APPLE AND ORANGES AND GOING AFTER THE WRONG CAUSES. Does Rush say a lot of insensitive shit and offend a lot of people. Yes he does and that is how he makes his money. He is a fucking radio host. We have a Black President and we are still acting as if this is the 60's like Rush is calling for us to be deported and shipped out of the country. Hey Jessie and Al let the NFL handle their business and concentrate on more news worthy topics instead of trying to cock block Rush. Remember his comments about MCNABB that got him fired from the worldwide sports leader. ( The Media is protecting Donovan because he is black and if he was white he would be criticized constantly because he is not that good). He is right to a certain extent. We all bring race to the table when talking about sports. Boxing is still looking for the Great White Hope,What about a Black Goalie in Hockey or Blacks in NASCAR, Dirk is supposed to be the next Larry Bird and Why don't white guys play Running back. There is nothing wrong with asking questions or debating topics. The thing is you judge a person on skin color instead of the contents of the message he is delivering. Remember what Jessie said about our President. Yeah that shit about cutting off his fucking balls. How quickly we forget. I have three motherfucking leaders on this planet. My Mother , My Father and President Obama. Not Jessie or Al and don't forget that shit. Now on the fucking Lowdown. I'm tired of dealing with fucking Buffoons.

• WHAT I LEARNED IN WEEK 5:
• I learned that if your are a college team and you need to schedule a home coming game next year that the Raiders and the Bucs are available. The Raiders are the most poorly run franchise in sports (shout out to the Orioles) and I actually feel sorry for the Silver and Black. Al Davis gives Bobby Bowden hope and inspiration to continue coaching from the grave. Jamarcus Russel makes me yearn for the days of Ryan Leaf,Akili Smith and Dave Kingler. Your fucking head coach regularly appears on America's Most Wanted and your game plans are derived from the first Tecmo Bowl when there were like a total of eight plays for offense and defense. Roger Goddell step in and do something about this shit before Al Davis trades all of next years draft picks to the Patriots for the rights to talk to negotiate with Tom Brady's newborn. Gotta start rebuilding somehow.
• I learned that Eli and Peyton might be on a collision course for the Super Bowl. Those two teams look awfully similar right now and they look unbeatable. Just remember it is a week 5 observation and one injury or loss can change things quick.
• I learned that the Deadskins should be 0-5 and that Jim Zorn needs to get his resume ready.
• I learned that Andre Johnson is a bad motherfucker. He looked better in defeat than Fitzgerald looked in winning. He looks like T.O. with hands.
• I learned that the Refs make plenty of bad calls, but they don't have vendettas against teams like Ravens fans think.
• I learned that if Jay Cutler was still in Denver with those weapons and that D the sky would be the limit.
• I learned that no matter who Peyton throws to he is a bad Sum Bitch.(shout out to Stone Cold Steve Austin). This motherfucker is so precise he does everything in his life according to the principles of the two minute drill. When he is having sex with his wife he calls audibles and makes adjustments based off her body movements. At the birth of his first child he had the doctors go no huddle and they used silent counts when delivering the baby because he wanted to simulate the effect of crowd noise. At his Grandfather's funeral he called a timeout, because he said the pall barrers were lined up in an illegal formation and he didn't want to get a flag. Peyton may go down as the greatest of all time.
• NECESSARY ROUGHNESS:
• I blame Florida St University, ESPN, and Bobby Bowden's family for allowing him to speak on the Mic and say dumb ass shit in front of millions after his team looses.. He had a nerve to ask if Georgia Tech actually punted during their game Saturday Night. Wait we have a Sports center update Georgia Tech just ran a triple reverse option and scores.They are threatening to break triple digits and become the first team in history to get credit for two victories in one night. His employees and family have an obligation to rain him in and prepare him for what his line of questioning will look like and how he should respond. If he is not calling plays or game planning opponents why aren't his coordinators up there answering for that shitty ass effort they put out. I know at the age of 80 if you can still function you should be allowed to still perform all of your duties as head coach. When I am 80 if I live to be that old, I hope I remember my name and I have on matching socks and clean underwear. If these things happen I will consider that day to be a good day. Bobby is a figure head for the University. He is shadow of his former self and that is not an indictment on him, but the people around him. Do me a favor and hide his keys from him, so that I can remember him for all that he accomplished and not the buffoonery I have witnessed over the past five years. You owe him this and having him embarrass himself in front of millions only add fuel to the fire. Shame on the University of FSU. Shame on his family and friends and Shame on ESPN for airing that shit. These are not facts. They are my opinions and this has been another episode of necessary roughness.
• STOCK UP STOCK DOWN:
• STOCK UP: MILES AUSTIN 10REC 250 YDS. 2TDS- WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO DO TO START IN BIG D
• STOCK UP: JEREMY MACLIN 142YDS 2TDS- THIS BOY LOOKS GOOD.
• STOCK UP: RODDY WHITE 210YDS- HE ATE UP A GOOD 49ERS DEFENSE
• STOCK UP: CHAD HENNE 130 QB RATING- THE REAL CHAD IS 2-0
• STOCK UP:MIAMI WILDCAT OFFENSE 16 SNAPS 110 YDS 6 1ST DOWNS 1TD- THIS NOT A GIMMICK FOR THEM. IT'S THEIR OFFENSE.
• STOCK UP: KYLE ORTON 35-48 351YDS- HE OUTPLAYED BRADY. ENOUGH SAID.
• STOCK UP: CEDRIC BENSON 27ATT 120 YDS 1TD- HE DID WHAT NO ONE HAS DONE IN 39 GAMES. RUN FOR 100YDS AGAINST THE RAVENS.
• STOCK UP: PEYTON MANNING 5 STRAIGHT 300 YD GAMES TO START THE SEASON. WHEN IS HIS STOCK EVER DOWN
• STOCK UP: MIKE ZIMMER BENGAL'S D COORDINATOR- 1TD GIVEN UP IN VICTORY OVER THE RAVENS.
• STOCK DOWN: JAGUAR'S D 4 SACKS IN 5 GAMES- THAT IS WHY YOU GOT BLOWN OUT.
• STOCK DOWN:DEREK ANDERSON 2-17 23YDS- HE IS THE STARTER?
• STOCK DOWN:JAMARCUS RUSSELL 13ATTS AND YOU LOSS BY 35 PTS-YOUR OWN TEAM IS AFRAID OF WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU LINE UP
• STOCK DOWN:WADE PHILLIPS: THE CHIEFS TOOK YOUR TEAM TO OVERTIME
• STOCK DOWN:JIM ZORN YOU OVER SEE THAT SHIT CALLED THE DEADSKINS.
• THE HIGH FIVE:
• 1)NY GIANTS 5-0: No holes. No weaknesses.
• 2)INDY COLTS 5-0: Peyton delivers and is always prepared.
• 3)DENVER BRONCOS 5-0: Imagine if Cutler was still there.
• 4)MINNESOTA VIKINGS 5-0: Keep getting better
• 5)NEW ORLEANS SAINTS 4-0: Don't tell me they have D now.
• FINAL THOUGHTS:
• How dare Peyton Manning use that thing called the forward pass to beat the Titans.
• The NFL is the only place where a Head coach can get fired for doing a bad coaching job on Sunday and get paid for analyzing other coaches on Monday.
• Serena looks real good in that ESPN magazine spread where athlete's are posing nude.
• Looks like Jerry Jones knew what he was doing by getting rid of T.O. a year early.
• I think Randy Moss is slowing down.
• If FSU truly wants to get better. Get rid of JIMBO SLICE AND EVERYONE ELSE ON BOBBY'S STAFF. The only pedigree they have right now is that of a losing University.
• Hey Baltimore do you miss Rex Ryan yet and somehow somewhere Brian Billick is smiling telling everyone I told you so. Who do you criticize now about the team being undisciplined? Brian, Chris McAllister and Bart Scott are gone.
• Just put flags on the QBs and and declare them off limits.
• Watching Bellicheck loose is like watching Jeter and Coach K loose. Ok I'M LYING NOTHING BEATS THE LOOK OF TORRE,JETER AND AROD AFTER THE YANKS LOOSE.
• BUFFOON OF THE WEEK:
• While trailing Atlanta 35-10 the Buffoon of the week intercepted a pass, put his right hand behind his helmet channeling his inner Deion and proceeded to high step from midfield only to have Roddy White strip the ball from him and regain possession for the Falcons. This act is truly buffoonish for two very good reasons. First you were down by 25 points. Just score and hand the ball to the refs. 2nd only Dennis Rodman attempts to do things from half court or midfield. In the 1989 NBA FINALS Rodman attempted a lay up from half court on a fast break that bounced high off the shot clock and to this day John Starks calls me and says you think I'm a buffoon. Deion starting strutting when the end zone was insight and everyone was behind him. Not when he first catches the ball dumb ass. This Buffoons comments afterwards were DRE IS GOING TO BE DRE. I LIKE TO HAVE FUN AND THAT IS WHAT I'M ABOUT. So let me get this straight you are all about losing, shucking and jiving and showboating win , loose or draw. I would pay good money to see the confrintation between you and Mike Singletary after that play. Good luck explaining that shit to him and getting him to understand that was just DRE BEING DRE. After you removed that foot from your ass and regained consciousness I heard you apologized. TOO LATE DRE BRLY YOUR ACTIONS HAVE EARNED YOU BUFFOON OF THE WEEK.
• I'M OUT LIKE TERELL OWEN'S DESIRE TO PLAY FOOTBALL IN BUFFALO.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  

NFL PICKS WEEK 5

• 1)TOUSAINT 58-18 (LAST WEEK 1ST PLACE)-I CAN'T ARGUE WITH YOUR PICKS. THE BRONCOS PICK WAS AN EXCELLENT CALL OUT. STOP DICK RIDING THE JETS AND 49ERS.
• 1)CLAYSON 58-18 (LAST WEEK 1ST PLACE)-AVERAGE WEEK LIKE EVERYONE ELSE. LET'S SEE YOU PICK THE RAVENS THIS WEEK.
• 3)RAFIQ 56-20 (LAST WEEK 3RD PLACE)-THIS PORK EATING MOTHERFUCKER IS IN 3RD PLACE. YOU GOT ABOUT AS MUCH RIGHT TO BE ABOVE ME AS SARAH PAILIN DOES OF RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT. JUST KIDDING MAN BUT I GOT MY EYE ON YOU.
• 4)BOB 54-22 (LAST WEEK 4TH PLACE)-YOUR LUCKY I GAVE YOU THE COWBOY'S GAVE OR I WOULD BE IN FRONT OF YOUR ASS . STOP EMAILING ME AT 3 IN MORNING IN SOME COUNTRIES THAT IS CONSIDERED STALKING.
• 4)DAMON 54-22 (LAST WEEK 5TH PLACE)- I THOUGHT THIS WAS MY WEEK. MY MASTER PICK OF THE WEEK WAS THE DOLPHINS. FUCK THE BILLS,49ERS,JAGS,PATS AND THE RAVENS. BOB AND RAFIQ MUCH LIKE RILEY OF THE BOONDOCKS AND HIS SANTA CLAUS CRUSADE I'M COMING FOR THAT ASS.
• 6)GREG 51-25 (LAST WEEK LAST PLACE)-MUCH LIKE REX RYAN YOU WERE A GAMBLING MOTHERFUCKER AND IT PAID OFF. YOU CALLED THE RAVENS GAME, THE BROWNS AND THE SEAHAWKS. I KNEW GOING TO ALL OF THOSE BRIAN BILLICK LECTURES ON HOW TO LOOK SMARTER THAN ANYBODY ELSE IN THE ROOM WOULD PAY OFF. ARE YOU GOING TO CONTINUE BLITZING OR BACK OFF AND PLAY ZONE.
• 7)SAMUEL 50-26 (LAST WEEK 6TH PLACE)- HOPE YOU BEEN SAVING YOUR MONEY.

NFL LOW DOWN WEEK 4

The NFL is the smartest and most lucrative sport out there, because they have somehow found a way to make themselves an intricate part of our everyday living. We live and die with how our teams perform on Sunday and believe it or not it effects how we behave, perform and interact with each other everyday. Instead of saying Hello like normal motherfuckers do we say things like "WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR BOYS YESTERDAY OR YOUR DEADSKINS ARE TERRIBLE". We have replaced everyday conversations about how we are doing with conversations like Flacco and the Ravens have a shot at going all the way or The Jets and Coach Ryan are no joke. The NFL is not a perfect product by any means, but they no that shit. In fact they like it. They like the fact that there officiating is the worse, because it makes them relevant in football fan's minds all during the week when there aren't any games being played. They are a billion dollar industry yet their referees only work part time and they have other jobs during the week.They could fix that shit if they really wanted too. People in Baltimore are still complaining about the Pats game and the Bengals are in town on Sunday. Instead of having sex with your woman, or spending quality time with your kids you are emailing and calling talk show hosts about the theory of the league wanting Brady to win. Love it or hate it the NFL is like crack to us and we are all just like POOKIE SUCKING ON THAT PIGSKIN DICK AND IF YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES AND BE QUIET FOR A SECOND I KNOW YOU CAN HEAR THAT SHIT CALLING YOU. Now on to the LOWDOWN!

• I'M SO DONE WITH:
• I'm so done with wide receivers throwing their hands up like they are hailing a cab every time their is an incomplete pass thrown.
• I'm so done with corner backs that release wide receivers to the safety and then look disappointed when they get burnt. You would rather defend open space than stay with Randy Moss. Makes sense to me. shout to toast Patterson
• I'm so done with teams that line up in shotgun on 3rd and 1 and 3rd and 2. You can trip over your shoelace and fall forward for two yards.
• I'm so done with people who predict who will play in the conference championships after only 4 weeks of play. Who knew the Jets, Saints,Broncos, 49ers, and Bengals would be this good and the Titans would be this bad.
• I'm so done with corners who play 15 yds of the ball. You are making guys like Wes Welker and Brandon Stokley look like Hall of Fame receivers.
• I'm so done with part time running backs who share carries. Emmitt, Barry and Robert Smith must have been taking the juice, because those motherfuckers carried the ball 20 plus times a game and never wanted to come out of a game. Brandon Jacobs is about 6'5" 265 and he needs help. Shout out to THE BUS.
• UPON FURTHER REVIEW:
• Upon further review we were all wrong about the Broncos and Josh McDaniels. I'm not just saying this because they beat Tony Romo not the Cowboys. Their defense looks real impressive and they have a good wide receiving core led by Brandon Marshall. Hey RAVENS you think your team is better off without that kid who made Newman look like a little BITCH by simply taking the ball from him.. OK shout out to Ozzie Newsome.
• Upon further review I think LT, my bad LaDainian Tomlinson is done. Make all the excuses you want for him, but he spends more time on the sidelines than Suzy Kobler from ESPN. His next big performance in a playoff game will be his first. What is worst not being there for your team or showing up and making mistakes that hurt your team. Shout out to Romo.
• Upon further review the report of the demise of Brett Favre has been greatly exaggerated. If that is what you call game managing then I don't know what the fuck Trent Dilfer was doing.
• Upon further review the loss of Rex Ryan has taken some off the bark and bite out of the Ravens defense. Instead of crying about their reputation as bad guys they should do like the Bad Boys Pistons teams used to do and embrace it. That is called marketing 101.
• Upon further review it looks like THE U is back. I hate those motherfuckers with a passion which only serves to tell you that they must be relevant again. That schedule that they have played is no joke and they are definitely a top 20 team unlike FSU. Shout out to Bobby Bowden
• NECESSARY ROUGHNESS:
• The fans in Baltimore need to stop crying about the officiating and come to grips with the fact that your team is not perfect. Every team has questionable calls go against them every week, but the good teams still manage to find a way to win. Whenever the Ravens loose a big game to the Pats, Colts, Steelers, Titans, or insert team the fans and players complain about the officials. There are many plays in a game that help to determine the outcome, but the officials are not good enough to help a team defeat another one. In five years Flacco will get the same calls that Brady gets now and no one here will complain. Hell this week when you play the Bengals you will get most of the calls in your favor and I won't here one word from you fans. Stop bitching about stupid shit and enjoy the fact that you play in meaningful games and that you have a championship caliber team. This team and city is getting a bad rep as sore looses and it tarnishes and otherwise model ran franchise. It is ok to be upset after a loss, but choose your words carefully and give thanks to God for having a team like the Ravens to cheer for. It could always be worse. Imagine being a DEADSKIN fan . Damn that's hurts more than Queen Latifah being shot up in Set It Off. Those are not facts its just my opinion and you can throw a personal flag on me for NECESSARY ROUGHNESS.
• STOCK UP STOCK DOWN:
• STOCK UP:JARED ALLEN 4.5 SACKS AND A SAFETY. WORTH THE MONEY
• STOCK UP:MATT FORTE 12ATT 121YDS AND 1 TD. TWO BIG RUNS HELPED
• STOCK UP:PATRICK WILLIS 2.5 SACKS 1INT AND 1TD. DOMINANT
• STOCK UP:MIKE SINGLETARY 35-0. THAT'S HOW YOU SEND A MESSAGE
• STOCK UP:AQIB TALIB 3INT'S. RECOVERED FROM THAT MOSS TD
• STOCK UP:DARREN SHARPER. SOLIDIFYING THAT SAINT'S DEFENSE
• STOCK UP:MIKE NOLAN. 26POINTS IN 4 WEEKS. IMPRESSIVE
• STOCK UP:BRANDON MARSHALL 51 YD TD CATCH. HE IS SPECIAL
• STOCK DOWN:KERRY COLLINS 11 OVERTHROWS AND 2INTS
• STOCK DOWN:TONY ROMO 1FUMBLE 1INT. PLAY YOUR GAME
• STOCK DOWN:MARK CLAYTON YOU HAVE TO MAKE THAT CATCH.
• STOCK DOWN:RAIDERS PASSING GAME. WHERE IS THE VERTICAL
• STOCK DOWN:SAN DIEGO CHARGERS . SUPERBOWL BOUND?
• STOCK DOWN:JOEY GALLOWAY 6CATCHES 49YDS. FOR THE SEASON
• STOCK DOWN:ADRIAN PETERSON'S HANDS 15 FUMBLES SINCE 07
• STOCK DOWN:KYLE BOWLER 41QB RATING. NOW ST LOUIS KNOWS YOUR BAD
• THE HIGH FIVE:
• 1)NY GIANTS 4-0. THE CLASS OF THE NFL
• 2)INDIANAPOLIS COLTS 4-0. KEEP COUNTING PEYTON OUT.
• 3)MINNESOTA VIKINGS 4-0. BRETT +AP+DEFENSE=SUPERBOWL BIRTH?
• 4)NEW ORLEANS SAINTS 4-0. WHO KNEW?
• 5)DENVER BRONCOS 4-0. MIKE NOLAN HAS THEM BELIEVING.
• WHAT I LEARNED IN WEEK 4:
• I learned that some guys are cut out to be coordinators and not head coaches. Norv excellent offensive coordinator terrible head coach. Mike Nolan excellent defensive coordinator terrible head coach. Dick Lebeau excellent defensive coordinator terrible head coach. Which brings me to Wade Phillips and Jim Zorn. Wade your speciality is defense and yet my defense looks loss at times. Jim Zorn your speciality is offense. You run the offense and you are the Qb coach yet your team scores 19 pts in two games against the feared LIONS D and the intimidating Rams D. Your owner thought so much of your ability to run the offense that he hired you a consultant to help you with your pathetic ass game plans. Some guys just don't belong coaching football.
• I learned that the media loves building you up, but once you do something they don't like they spend the rest of your career tearing you down. They call Tom Brady a whiner and says that he is soft. You are talking about that son bitch that headbutts his lineman as a sign of affection. If that is soft then I know a whole lot of guys in the NFL who look like Tarzan but they must be Jane.
• I learn that every time the Cowboys loose it seems like a state of emergency throughout the NFL. Everyone chimes in on what's wrong with the Boys. Correct me if I'm wrong , but the Titans are 0-4 and they had home field last year yet no one mentions them at all. I guess it is the price you pay for being America's Team.
• I learned that the President of the US can be criticized and impeached, but if your name is Bobby Bowden and you coach the FSU Seminoles you are untouchable. Outside of being a parent what job do you get to keep for life. Let's put this in perspective. What will you be doing at the age of 80? It damn sure won't be working. You can't even reach around and wipe your ass at the age of 80. You shouldn't be driving, fucking,running,swimming and you damn sure shouldn't be coaching. This is not intended to be harsh it's just the reality I live in. Bobby wake the fuck up and realize what we already know. The game has passed you by. In the past you could have called in the plays from the golf course and we would have defeated UCF BY FIFTY let alone loose to them. You are tarnishing your legacy by hanging on. Unlike Peter Angelos you can still do the right thing. LET MY NOLES GO!
• QUOTE OF THE WEEK:
• I asked OCHOCINCO what he thought about facing the Ravens Defense and does he consider it a difficult challenge when he plays them. HIS RESPONSE WAS CHILD PLEASE. IF OCHOCINCO IS ABLE TO SEE RAY LEWIS ON THE FIELD HE IS GOING TO BUST HIM IN THE MOUTH. SABIEN GLOVER AND JEFF FOXWORTHY DON'T WANT NONE EITHER.(MEMO THERE REAL NAMES ARE FABIAN WASHINGTON AND DOMINIQUE FOOXWORTH BUT YOU CAN'T TELL CHAD ANYTHING). THEY CAN'T D UP OCHOCINCO LET ALONE TAKE HIS TRASH OUT. REED AND SUGGS DON'T WANT NONE EITHER. OCHOCINCO WILL FUCK UP EDGAR,ALLEN AND POE.(THERE MASCOTS). TELL THAT RAVENS SECONDARY THAT THE CHAMP IS HERE AND THAT NEED TO BE CHANTING KUM BYE YEAH OCHOCINCO KUM BYE YEAH. CHILD NO MORE QUESTIONS. IF YOU WANT TO GET MORE FROM OCHOCINCO READ MY TWEETS YOU LITTLE BITCHES.
• BUFFOON OF THE WEEK:
• Tony Romo is about to get his own wing named in his honor. If you watched the game on Sunday you know what I'm talking about. How do you throw at Chump Bailey 16 times including the last two passes of the game? Did you know that the Broncos other starting corner plays for the Ravens now. Which means that I don't even know who the fuck there other coner is? This is the type of dumbass shit that keeps the Cowboys from winning big games. Keep on doing shit like this and you will end up like Jason Campbell. Dumb, confused, lacking confidence and all fucked up. Common sense says you throw away from Chump and make someone else , anyone else but Chump make a play. Why didn't you do what you always do and throw into triple coverage or throw behind someone or overthrow your 6"5" receiver where only the defender could get it. You would have been better off running a naked bootleg and trying to run thru the entire Broncos D then challenging Chump Bailey. How long before this teams decides to quit on you?
• REAL BUFFOON OF THE WEEK:
• What millionare in his right minds marries a girl after knowing her for a month. Did you see that picture I posted of Ron Artest and that random baddass bitch. That was not an ad or a shot for a magazine cover. That was Ron just taking a picture with a half naked bitch , because he could. Imagine chicks like that waiting outside of your hotel room as you travel from city to city and all they want is to be fucked. You would call that the life and it would take a helluva lot for you to change your lifestyle. Meet Lamar Odom. He decided that he would marry the wrong Kardashian after only knowing her for a month. Who does this type of shit. I think this has something to do with his sugar dependancy. He couldn't have been in the right frame of mind when this decision was made. Of course she is going to say yes. She is set for life. She doesn't love you. She loves your money and your lifestyle dumbass. If you were broke and you asked her to marry you she would have laughed in your face like that chick did Earl Simmons aka DMX in NEVER DIE ALONE and told you that you were small time. I hope you got a pre nup because half after taxes ain't shit. Good luck Lamar Odom because of this pathetic attempt at showing your love for the wrong Kardshaian "YOU ARE THE BUFFOON OF THE WEEK. The tough ass decision you had to make was marry the wrong Kardashain or fuck random models and dime pieces. Damn to tough for me. Mutherfuckers like me only have to make tough decisions like what bills are the most important and need to be paid now and what can I afford to go without. Those are tough decisions. Yours was a no brainer, but what should I expect from a 6'9" underachiever who fucking eats candy all hours of the day.
• I'm out like Lamar Odom's bank account after the wrong Kardashian get's in it.