NFL LOW DOWN WEEK 3

Let me start off by saying I have no love for the city of Cleveland, the people of Cleveland, the Cavs, The Indians, The Browns, Geronimo, Queen James, Shaq, your pets, the air you breathe,the food you eat or that buffoon coach of yours Eric Man Genius Mangini. The Man Genius has proven that just because you hang around a winning organization doesn't mean that you know how to run one. This man has about as much loyalty as an unfed and caged up pit bull. He went to NY and ratted out his former employees to the league office. Way to show loyalty and not burn any bridges dumb ass.The Man Genius makes Gmoney and Bishop from Juice look like honorable law abiding citizens. Shout out to Star Scream. He is now in Cleveland and his team wants to play for him about as much as Oprah really wants to marry Stedman. The Man Genius came into town with his balls in his hands demanding respect because he was the one with the magic stick. One of his first acts was to fine a player $1500 for taking a bottle of water from his hotel suite without paying. What kind of a jerk does that? Does your teacher in school fail you if don't turn in your homework? Do your parents disown you if you don't clean your room? Do you get locked up if you shoot yourself with an unlicensed gun by mistake while shaking your ass in a NY night club. Shout out to Plaxico. OK bad example but you get the idea. Come in and get to know your players first, weed out the trouble makers and get the best players to buy into your message. If your best players are on board ten the rest will follow, but what do I know. I just right blogs. Now lets get to the Low Down.

• UPON FURTHER REVIEW:
• Upon further review football is back in the state of Florida. It's just not the Seminoles or the Canes. It's the USF. Doesn't that sound like something Jerry Lee Lewis should be hosting a telethon for or at best a generic football league that plays it's games on the Oxygen channel. If losing to this team doesn't get Bowden out of Florida St. nothing will.
• Upon further review not naming your starting QB until the night before your game does not confuse your opponents it only shows your lack of confidence in your existing QB'S. Shout out to the Man Genius.
• Upon further review I didn't think a man with a hamstring injury could out run a defense, still run a 4.3 40 and do flip and split in the end zone after scoring. Shout out to Deshawn Jackson of the Eagles.
• Upon further review the Deadskins are worst than I thought. Albert Hayneswoth ( THE 100 MILLION DOLLAR MAN) apparently earns 33,000,000 a tackle and right about now Jim Zorn looks like Anna May after Ike told her to just sing the damn song. Battered , bruised and all fucked up. Daniel Snyder take him out to pasture and put him out of his misery. Shout out to Old Yellow.
• Upon further review The Colts don't play the role of Hollywood prostitute to well. Everyone picked The Titans to win the division and Indy was an after thought, but don't look now but Peyton has them running on all cylinders and looking good. Rolling over and laying down is not in the Colts job description. Shout out Karren Steffans AKA Superhead
• Upon further review the Steelers without Polumalu is like New Edition without Bobby Brown. They both still look good , but you know there is something missing. Shout out to the Brown Bomber
• STOCK UP STOCK DOWN:
• STOCK UP JOE FLACCO- Anytime you throw for 300 yds and in Baltimore and no one says anything. Your Good
• STOCK UP CARSON PALMER- The game winning drive against the Steelers and those two 4th down conversions are confidence builders for the season.
• STOCK UP NY GIANTS- You handled your business in Tampa Bay like Steven Sagal in Marked For Death. You came into town fucked up the bad guys and left with no bruises. You guys didn't even pack bags. You wore your uniforms on the plane to Tampa and left the same way.
• STOCK UP VERNON DAVIS-I guess all it takes is for your head coach to tell you to get the hell off his field and then you play up to your potential.
• STOCK UP TASHARD CHOICE- He is good and he is 3rd string.
• STOCK UP GREGG WILLIAMS- He has finally brought some assemblance of defense to the Saints.
• STOCK UP BRETT FAVRE-After all this time the old man still has it. Haynesworth that is how you earn your money.
• STOCK DOWN REDSKINS DEFENSE- I'm embarrassed to put yall here because that would be admitting that you actually had positive stock.
• STOCK DOWN TERRELL OWENS- Zero catches for the first time of your career. I got my popcorn ready for that shit.
• STOCK DOWN ERIC MANGINI-There was more fight going on in that lockeroom than there was on the field Sunday.
• STOCK DOWN JaMarcus RUSSELL- The QB with the child barring hips has to go.
• STOCK DOWN LARRY JOHNSON- Already hit the wall at the age of 30.
• STOCK DOWN TENNESSEE TITANS- Still hungover from that lost to the Ravens in the playoffs last year
• WHAT I LEARNED IN WEEK 3:
• I learned that Romo can actually manage a game. Now do it when it counts against the Big Boys.
• I learned that the Ravens have a mean streak and no compassion in their heart for buffoons. Lay down and they will fuck the shit out of you. Shout out to the Browns.
• I learned that the media protects certain players. After playing pathetic for a half Tom Brady lit into his team for their performance. If that was T.O. he would have been called selfish and would have been told to shut up and perform.
• I learned that when you have rushed for 200 yards a game the last two weeks. You should not be throwing on 2nd and 1 and 3rd and 1. Shout to Jason Garrett.
• I learned that unless you are Hines Ward crack back blocking motherfuckers you are seen as not giving 100% out on the field when you are playing wide receiver.
• I learned that at 3-0 Denver Broncos don't hate their coach the way Cleveland does even though they could have. Shout out to professionalism
• I learned that the Browns are now on the clock for the first pick in the 2010 draft.
• I learned that if the Ravens beat New England they will be a force to be reckoned with.
• I learned that even though that was KC if I was Donovan I would hurry up and get healthy quick. Korn on the Kolb does not look bad.
• I learned that MNF sucks and That Sunday Night Football needs Madden back.
• I learned that America thinks Flacco is better than Romo.
• THE HIGH FIVE:
• 1) NY GIANTS 3-0: The EPMD of football. STRICTLY BUSINESS.
• 2)BALTIMORE RAVENS 3-0: Already printing playoff tickets
• 3) INDY COLTS 3-0: Tony ? Marvin ? It is all about Peyton
• 4)MINNESOTA VIKINGS 3-0: If AP is off Brett is there to back him up
• 5)NY JETS 3-0: That Rex Ryan Kool Aid must taste real good.
• FANTASY PLAYER OF THE WEEK:
• PEYTON MANNING 24/35 379 YDS AND 4TDs
• QUOTE OF THE WEEK:
• I asked Coach Harbough about trying to run the score up against the Browns during Sunday's 34-3 victory. The Ravens were up 31 pts late in the 4th quarter when Flacco attempted a long pass down field. Coach Harbaugh asked me if I remembered the Houston Oilers Buffalo Bill playoff game and I said I do but that has nothing to do with you, because the Browns had already quit. He said your right they did lay down like a Louisiana ball massager but this was pay back for constantly trying to keep Art Modell out of the Hall Of Fame even though he left the city of Cleveland their name and those ugly ass colors. Until they let Art Modell be I will continue to victimize those motherfuckers.
• BUFFOON OF THE WEEK:
• First let me start off by saying that there were many candidates for Buffoon of the week. A true Buffoon knows that before he commits the act of Buffoonery that no good can come from his actions. Somehow his Buffoonish tendencies overrides his common sense and he convinces himself that his actions are normal. When in fact they are buffoonish. Junior Seau as you can see by the pictures up above committed this vile offense known as Buffoonery. He should have a sign outside of his house alerting his neighbors that he is a buffoon and that they should be careful when coming in contact with him. One question for you Junior what the fuck was you thinking when you stood there in your three point stance weaponless taunting a fucking bull. I think you listened to one to many Bellicheck speeches thinking you could win that battle with a shoulder high tackling technique. I'm pretty sure Momma Seau is beaming with pride knowing that her College graduate, Hall of fame bound son has been reduced to playing with bulls for a buck. Thanks Junior for this Buffoon moment.
• Now the true Buffoon of the week:
• Delonte West:In case you haven't heard when last seen Delonte West was rolling down Chocolate City on his three wheel bike armed with two handguns and a semi automatic bazooka shot gun much like the one Jessie the Body Ventura had in Predator strapped to his back. Where the fuck was Delonte headed Baghdad or Beirut? Tank Johnson and the DC sniper wants to know the answer to that one. Who travels this way other than Rambo? This motherfucker is a shooting guard for the Cleveland Cavilers not a a vigilante crime fighter in Gotham City. Haven't we learned anything from Plaxico? If you have to go anywhere strapped for battle it ain't worth it. Using a gun that requires the help of two people just to hold your bullets tells me you had dangerous intentions on your mind. You guys saw Predator you know how big that shit is. The fact that your freckled face ass thought you could ride through Chocolate City armed like Dirty Harry and get away with it makes you my BUFFOON OF THE WEEK.
• I'M OUT LIKE LAMAR ODOM'S COMMON SENSE.
• PS THAT THROW THAT BRETT MADE WAS ONE OF THE BEST PLAYS I HAVE EVER SEEN A QB MAKE AND THAT RAY LEWIS TACKLE WAS THE GREATEST DEFENSIVE PLAY I HAVE EVER SEEN. TWO WEEKS IN A ROW WITH THAT KIND OF ACTION. HOW DO YOU TOP THAT?

NFL PICKS WEEK 3

• 1) CLAYSON 38-10 LAST WEEK(TIED FOR 1ST) It pains me to say this but this mutherfucker has been consistent. Enjoy your rain while it lasts.
• 2)TOUSAINT 37-11 LAST WEEK(TIED FOR 1ST) Much like New Jack City, you gambled on a crackhead (DEADSKINS) and it cost you. One game separates you from superiority.
• 3)RAFIQ 36-12 LAST WEEK(TIED FOR 3RD) How did this shit happen. Stop calling those 800 numbers and getting help.
• 4)BOB 35-13 LAST WEEK(TIED FOR 3RD) This is the by product of only being able to get two channels on your TV set. It gives your ass plenty of time to study in that basement.
• 5)DAMON 34-14 LAST WEEK(TIED FOR 3RD) I'm the best that has ever did it. I don't like to brag, but watch your back. No more crackhead last picks. I'm going in the lab and it won't be pretty.
• 6)SAM 33-15 LAST WEEK (6TH PLACE) Must be lonely down there with Greg. Stop betting against Peyton. Your love of the Cardinals is going to be your downfall. I thought you were a Cowboys fan.
• 7) GREG 30-18 LAST WEEK(LAST PLACE) You are making it hard for me to be your boy. Study and show these boys what you do for a living. It is cold and dark as shit down there in the cellar. I'm going to throw you some blankets and give you a flashlight to get you through the night.

NFL PICKS WEEK 2

1. TOUSAINT 25-7
2. CLAYSON 25-7
3. DAMON 22-10
4. RAFIQ 22-10
5. BOB 22-10
6. SAMUEL 22-12
7. GREG 18-14

NFL LOW DOWN WEEK 2

Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't this how we closed down Texas Stadium. Jerry Jones threw a big ass party, invited everyone,talked about plans for his new stadium, and oh yeah the party crashers the Ravens beat the Boys and talked shit to us while the lights were turned off on Texas Stadium. If you be quiet for a second you can still here Sugar Ray saying close this motherfucker down. Fast forward to Sunday night and it was deja vu. A brand new beautiful stadium, guests ranging from President Bush to Lebron James,Dallas Cowboy's alum attending,Jerry Jones sitting back with that shit eating grin on his face and oh yeah the party crashers the Giants beat the Boys and talked shit to us in our house in front of America. Shit like this is not supposed to happen. I blame two mutherfuckers and I hold them directly responsible for these ungodly acts of betrayal and utter BUFFONARY. Jimmy Johnson and Troy Aikman where have you gone your legacy deserves better.

• UPON FURTHER REVIEW:
• Upon further review the impact of the loss of Plaxico Burress and Armani Toomer to the Giants has been greatly exagerrated. Mario Manningham and the Real Steve Smith looked like Lynn Swann and John Stallworth Sunday night against that Cowboy secondary. Until Sunday night I never knew that a wide receiver could break the ankles of a defender, but that move that the Real Steve Smith put on Scandrick made Scandrick's daughter visably upset and unable to attend school the next day. Their route running was so precise Eli look like he had a GPS tacking device in the football and they all just happen to arrive at the same place at the same time. I admit that shit was beautiful to watch and I don't even give a fuck about Eli Manning or the NY GIANTS.
• Upon further review Rex Ryan and the Jets showed us that it is okay to tug on Superman's cape, spit into the wind, wear Reebok classics and talk shit to Bill Bellicheck, Tom Brady and the rest of the Pats. Somewhere I know Buddy is proud.
• Upon further review Eli Manning is elite and is a TOP 5 QB. That's right I said it mutherfucker. The QB position is about wins and losses and leadership not fantasy numbers and right now he is handling his business as well as anybody in the league.
• Upon further review the DEADSKINS are worse than I thought. 3field goals at home against that feared Rams defense. You do the math on that shit.
• Upon further review if you are not Ronnie Brown and the Miami Dolphins stop running the Wildcat offense.
• Upon further review Tony Romo is average and he has hit his ceiling as far as how good he is going to get. The Cowboys have surrounded him with a monster line, 3 running backs, the best tight end in football and a very good receiving core yet he still makes the same mistakes over and over again and he shows no signs of improvement. You know the saying that you can't turn a hoe into a housewife. Well you can't turn a buffoon into a productive big game winning QB.
• UNSPORTSMANLIKE CONDUCT:
• Tony Romo and Wade Phillips never have and never will be Leaders on the Dallas Cowboys. That loss the other night to the Giants was a direct result of that ah shucks let's go get em next time mentallity.Can you imagine Tony Romo throwing three interceptions like he did against the Giants and just being allowed to go sit on the bench with his head down while Jimmy Johnson or Bill Parcells was coaching this team. Hell no. After the first pick they would have stared his ass down and told him to get his fucking head in the game. After Peyton or Brady make mistakes they throw their helmets in disgust and go look at pictures of what just happened. Not sit on the bench looking stupid as shit like you just lost your best friend. Wade Phillips watched Romo make mistake after mistake and did nothing about it. The defenition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. The Cowboys are dillusional if they think Romo and Phillips are going to win just because they say they have changed. You tell me what the fuck has changed other than the fact that TO isn't there. After that third pick I would have switched QB's and sent a message to my team that I want to win at all costs. Jason Garrett should have ran the ball the rest of the game and abandon the passing game since Romo had a problem hooking up with anyone in a white jersey.. Tony Romo said afterward he is sorry he let Jerry and the team down. Look Bitch stop fucking aplogizing and try working harder. Instead of working on your bump and grind with Jessica everynight you should have been working on your bump and run with Roy Williams. Wade Phillips took over the defense for what. Did you see how bad that secondary looked trying to cover receivers? I know this we look real good at tackling a mutherfucker after they gain first downs. We have mastserd the art of playing ten yards off the line of scrimmage and running up to make a play. Terrance Newman is so far back off the wide receiver I swear he bumped into me in my living room while backpedaling on defense Sunday night. Hey Wade how many times are you going to watch mutherfucking Flozell Adams committ penalties that cost us. He is so lazy now its not just holding or jumping offsides like regular mutherfuckers do. He is now tripping and leg whipping motherfuckers and not giving a fuck. What's next drive by's and shanking mutherfuckers. To top this shit off was that Wade Phillips closing his eyes and crossing his fingers in hope that the Giants were going to miss that last second field goal. Maybe if he clicked his heels together and said there is no owner like Jones three times THE WIZARD would have gave him some heart,some courage and a brain. I guess things could always be worse. We could have Jason Campbell as our Qb and Jim Zorn as our headcoach. Thank you Jesus.
• STOCK UP STOCK DOWN:
• STOCK UP:Steve Smith 1oREC 134 YDS AND 1 TD. HE is the real Steve Smith
• STOCK UP:Mario Manningham 10REC 150 YDS AND 1 TD. Two good weeks in a row.
• STOCK UP:Marion Barber 18ATT 124YDS AND 1 TD. The Barbarion ran at will
• STOCK UP:Drew Brees 25/34 311YDS AND 3TDs. Little ass Dan Marino
• STOCK UP:Darrelle Revis has shut down Randy Moss and Andre Johnson back to back
• STOCK UP:New York Jets Defense 16PTS in two games.
• STOCK UP:Chris Johnson 284 YDS 3TDS. The real deal.
• STOCK UP:Frank Gore 207YDS RUSHING 2TDs
• STOCK UP:Ray Lewis 10 tackles including the game winner. Gets better with age.
• STOCK UP:Mike Singletary 2-0. Nuff said
• STOCK UP:Rex Ryan 2-0. What's next. I heard he issued an opened challenge next week.
• STOCK UP:Denver Broncos 2-0. I don't even know what they are doing to win.
• STOCK DOWN:Tony Romo 3INTs. Comes up small in big games
• STOCK DOWN:ANDY REID 51 PASS ATT. Run the ball man
• STOCK DOWN:Terrance Newman. Burned at nauseium
• STOCK DOWN:Jeff Fisher 0-2. Lost only 3 games last year.
• STOCK DOWN:Brady Quinn 0-2. What is up with that Notre Dame pedigree
• STOCK DOWN:Jack Del Rio 0-2. I guess Leftwich wasn't the problem afterall.

WHAT I LEARNED IN WEEK 2:

• Other than Wade Phillips defensive coordinators make excellent head coaches.
• Next to Big Ben, Troy Polamalu is Pittsburgh's MVP.
• CORNERBACK play and SAFETY play are poor in the NFL
• The Ravens defense is playing on cruise control, because they have an offense now.
• Mark Sanchez is better than Pete Carrol thinks. Hey Pete can you tell the world in your next press conference that I'm not ready to be a millionare so that I can become one.
• Lovie Smith you better establish a running game to go along with Jay Cutler, because your offense is not that good.
• There is no clear cut favorite to win the Super Bowl.
• Peyton Manning just wins football games.
• Eli is following in his brother's footsteps.
• Joe Flacco is legit and he is getting better each week. Who needs elite receivers?
• No wonder Phillip Rivers is so good. He is throwing to small forwards with speed.
• The Jets and the 49ers are well coached and the Cowboys are not.
• If dick riding the Pats mean that they play bad each week, America please keep it up.
• THE HIGH FIVE
• 1)BALTIMORE RAVENS 2-0. Ray wont allow them to have a letdown.
• 2)NY GIANTS 2-0. Two division wins are huge.
• 3)INDIANAPOLIS COLTS 2-0. Never bet against Manning.
• 4)MINNESOTA VIKINGS 2-0. Let's see them against better competetion
• 5)ATLANTA FALCONS 2-0. No sophmore jinx for Matt Ryan
• FANTASY PLAYER OF THGE WEEK:
• CHRIS JOHNSON RB TITANS:284 TOTAL YDS 3 TDs.9CATCHES FOR 87 YDS AND 1 TD.197 YARDS RUSHING 2TDs
• OUT OF BOUNDS:
• Former Dallas Cowboy running back Herschel Walker is starting a new career in mixed martial arts. He is also 47 years old. Is he out of his fucking mind. That sport is like legalized pitbull fighting. You put two men in a cage and the toughest mutherfucker comes out of it the winner. I hope he has no immediate family because this will not end well. Can you imagine Walker vs Brock Lesnar. Herschel would come out looking like Wile E. Coyotte after one of those ACME bombs exploded on him during an encounter with the Roadrunner. My only explanation is he must need the money. I would rather train mountain lions or be a bungee jump crash test dummy than fuck with the MMA. Good luck Herschel because you are going to need it.
• BUFFOON OF THE WEEK:
• How in the hell can you be a Division I program playing in the ACC and loose to Middle Tennessee at home. Not Tennessee, not the front of Tennessee or the back of Tennesee. Middle Tennessee for crying out loud. Ralph Friedgen AKA THE FRIDGE has some explaining to do. This shit might be acceptable to Mt. Saint Mary's school of the blind, but this is Maryland. What is Boomer Esiason and Shawn Merrimon thinking right now? Who do we loose to next? RED CROSS UNIVERSITY, BOYS SCOUT TECH, or worse yet THE RED BERRIES OF CAPN CRUCNH ST. It is becoming harder and harder to rep Md. with losses like this. The only thing I can hold onto is the Women's basketball team handling their business. You can run the table and it won't mean a damn thing, because the season is already soiled like a used condom. For that THE FRIDGE IS BUFFOON OF THE WEEK.
• I'm out like the Orioles pride and their will to win.
• PS: TO STOP TWITTERING ME. NO I CAN'T GET YOU BACK ON THE COWBOYS NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU CRY. I JUST WRITE BLOGS I'M NOT GOD.

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UPDATED PICKS WEEK 1

• CLAYSON 15-1
• TOUSAINT 14-2
• DAMON 13-3
• SAMUEL 12-4
• ROBERT 12-4
• GREGORY 11-5
• RAFIQ 11-5

NFL LOW DOWN WEEK 1

I want to start off this edition of the NFL LOW DOWN by saying that I have been waiting all summer for some football. It's just something about the anticipation of the opening kickoff that gets your adrenaline pumping. With that being said when you are a fan of the Orioles you will get excited over the season premier of AM I SMARTER THAN A 5TH GRADER. You know what makes the NFL so special is that for one week every team in the NFL believes they can go to the SUPER BOWL. You have Lions fans, Jets fans, Bills fans, Bucs fans and fans everywhere believing there team can be this year's version of the ARIZONA CARDINALS. The NFL sells hope better than President Obama and I am bought in. ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL.

• This is the first year since I have been watching football that there will be no John Madden or Pat Summerall calling Prime Time games. This will be strange for me because when you think of NFL ANALYSTS they are at the top of the list. I watched Sunday Night Football, Monday Night Football, and a couple of games on Sunday and only one thing was missing John and Pat. There will never be another duo like you guys and you will be missed.
• OK enough of the soft shit let's talk about some football.
• UPON FURTHER REVIEW:
• Upon further review there is not anymore parity in the NFL than there is in the NBA. I know it may seem like it, but look at week 1. There were a lot of close games but no real upsets. The closets thing to an upset was the Jets over the Texans and I favored the Jets. I know your saying Romeo the Bills and the Raiders should have won their games, but that's it they didn't. When the Raiders are 1-7 let's see them come close to beating the Chargers. It is easy to play hard in week 1, but let's see these teams playing hard in week 12 when their season is over and their front office is off scouting college players.
• Upon further review the Pats are the most arrogant mutherfuckers in the NFL. You trade your best Defensive Player to the Raiders just because. The Raiders signed Fred Taylor and Joey Galloway because they believe once you put their gear on you all of sudden become elite. I don't bet against the Pats winning it all, but mark this down if they fail to win the SUPER BOWL the trade of Seymour will play a big factor.
• Upon further review Flacco ain't no ordinary Joe. The Ravens with offense is like Halle Berry with breast implants. She doesn't need them because she is already the finest thing going but could you imagine her throwing some D'S on that muther. GODDAMN. Sure up that secondary BMORE and you got it going on.
• Upon further review the Deadskins and Jason Campbell suck. You mutherfuckers cost me money and reinforced why I hate you. Memo to Jason: That QB up I95 gets it, watch footage of Flacco and pray to God that your brain and arm can work as one.
• Upon further review Manning does what Manning is going to do. Change in coaches, big time WR gets cut, and all of the pressure of winning is on his shoulder and all he does is win. Great job Peyton. You didn't think I was talking about Eli did you?
• Upon further review John Fox is a bigger buffoon than Wade Phillips. Keep on putting all of your trust in Jake Dellhome and you will be joining the Toronto Argonauts in the CFL as their Special Teams coach, because no GM who gets randomly drug tested would rehire your ass.
• Upon further review life without TO ain't that bad. Romo threw for 356 yards, Crayton was the leading receiver with 124 yards, and no one complained about their touches. Hey TO how is life up north playing with the Buffalo Buffoons. I mean Bills.
• STOCK UP STOCK DOWN
• STOCK UP ADRIAN PETERSON- Go look at his run against the Browns. Nuff said
• STOCK UP TOM BRADY- 22 wins in a row in the regular season
• STOCK UP MIKE SINGLETARY- He rules with an Iron Fist ask Vernon Davis.
• STOCK UP REX RYAN- Matt Schaub is still ducking Jets Blitzers
• STOCK UP JOE FLACCO- Poise and confidence equals wins
• STOCK UP PATRICK CRAYTON- Just remember your nothing without TO
• STOCK UP BEN ROETHLISBERGER- All you do is win
• STOCK DOWN BENGALS OFFENSE- 7 points against the Broncos
• STOCK DOWN BRAYLON EDWARDS- 1 catch for 12 yards
• STOCK DOWN STEELERS O LINE- Can't pass protect or run block
• STOCK DOWN MICHAEL CRABTREE- Is this Deal or No Deal. No one turns down money
• STOCK DOWN DALLAS DEFENSE- That was Cadillac Williams not Adrian Peterson
• STOCK DOWN ALBERT HAYNESWORTH- All that money for 1 tackle
• WHAT I LEARNED IN WEEK 1
• I learned that two QB'S Eli Manning and Tony Romo could perform without two of the biggest Divas walking the planet in Plaxico and TO. Let's hear it for discipline and leadership.
• I learned that DICK RIDING is not a good thing. As talented as Fitzgerald and Bouldin are the Cards were 9-7 last year. They are not the Patriots so stop giving them props.
• I learned that Rex Ryan is just like his father" A trash talking Son of a Bitch that always has his team ready to play."
• I learned that Jay Cutler is the second coming of Brett Favre. He not only Dick Rides himself , but he can't make up his mind if there is a difference in wide open and triple coverage.
• I learned that somebody in the Eagles organization either dislikes McNabb a lot or really wants to win at all costs. Signing Garcia to come play QB for the Eagles is like Pookie agreeing to working around all that crack and trying to take down Nino Brown. It sounds good on paper , but you know it won't have a happy ending.
• I learned that the Bengals front office and coaching staff makes the Washington Nationals look like they know what they are doing. Roy Williams is one of the Biggest Buffoons walking the planet. He would rather hit a mutherfucker instead of winning the game. Hey Bengals ever heard of PREVENT D. YOU KNOW THAT SHIT WHERE YOUR SAFETIES GUARD THE END ZONE AND DON'T LET ANYONE GET BEHIND THEM. Marvin I have given you a pass long enough. The Money must be real good for you to continue running this circus, because you are the face of this shit. Stop being a ho to Buffonary and save yourself before you become regulated to coaching your son's pop warner league team. The 3-4 defense doesn't work as well on that level.
• I learned that if you play Pittsburgh you better have corners that can cover forever because once Ben buys time it's over.
• I learned that Brady must have a horseshoe up his ass, because the Pats should have loss to the Bills. Brady is the type of person that would be the sole survivor of a plane crash and walk away play football after rehab.
• THE HIGH FIVE
• 1)PITTSBURGH STEELERS-Picked up where they left off last year.
• 2)BALTIMORE RAVENS-Offense plus Defense equals SUPER BOWL ?
• 3)NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS-Can you stop anyone with that D?
• 4)NEW YORK GIANTS- Defense and a running game equals wins
• 5)PHILADELPHIA EAGLES-This team goes as Donavan goes
• LETTERS TO THE EDITOR
• Dear Romeo, What do you think about the chances of the Redskins and Jason Campbell winning it all. Signed Anonymous... The Deadskins have about as much chance of winning the Super Bowl as Chris Brown does of getting back with Rhianna. There is a better chance of the Klan and the NAACP co hosting a fund raiser on BET for Karina victims. As far as Jason Campbell I have him ranked right behind McNabb,Romo,Eli,Vick,Garcia,Kitna,Carr and Cobb. He is better than everyone else in the division though.
• FANTASY PLAYER OF THE WEEK
• DREW BREES-358 YARDS AND 6 TDs. That's some TECMO BOWL shit right there.
• OUT OF BOUNDS:
• Enough of the Serena Williams shit already. She fucked up and she apologized, but don't get it twisted there is a double standard. John McEnroe did the same shit through out his whole career and he was beloved. He curses and yells in exhibition games and charity events and they don't even count. She is not a bad person and she should not be indicted for overreacting to a bad call. Serena has achieved a lot over her career and one incident should not tarnish that. Get over it. My President was called a liar and didn't get this much uproar. Get your priorities straight and remember at the end of the day it was just a tennis match.
• Kanye West is an egotistical glory hog who got his wish, because you are talking about him. He is not racist just an opportunist get it straight.
• Michael Jordan's Hall Of Fame speech was both funny and shocking. He belittled a lot of people and he was given a pass by media. What else is new? What other man do you know could fly a man in and clown him on National TV. The guy that beat him out for a spot on his high school team was used as a human prop and belittled in front of millions. Dean Smith even caught his rage for not naming him as a starter his freshman year and costing him a spot on the cover of Sports Illustrated. Jeff Van Gundy was called little Pat and made to look like a little buffoon who couldn't think for himself. As my boy Brad Piff put it what else did you expect from the most selfish player to ever play the game. Hope you enjoyed put your kids out there while patting yourself on the back and making yourself look good. If I could be like Mike. I don't think so .........
• BUFFOON OF THE WEEK:
• LANE KIFFIN: After talking trash to THE FLORIDA GATORS AND URBAN MEYERS all off season you are back pedalling like a corner back playing in a prevent defense. You said that their defense is going to send all 11 players to the pros, Tim Tebow is the greatest QB to ever play College ball, Urban Meyers runs an excellent program and they may go down as the gratest team to ever play football. He also said that Urban Meyers is a great father, a great provider and he wants to know how he would advise him on pleasing his wife better in bed. Are you fucking kidding me? You told all of America that Florida was a bunch of cheaters and that you were going to sing Rocky Top all night long after beating them. I guess reality is setting in because you are about to receive what everybody else is already getting "ASS WHUPPINGS". You expect your players to respect you after kissing Gator Ass all week. You should have stood your ground and took it like a man instead you think that by giving compliments that Florida will let up. Not a chance. Next time leave the trash talking to the pros and stick to Xs and Os YOU BUFFOON. I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE THE SCORE.
• I'M LIKE BAD NEWS BEAR BRIAN URLACHER.