What The NBA Is Missing

What the NBA is missing is something I have been talking about with my boys for the past 5 years. Unless Kobe or Shaq is involved the only rivalries that exist are the Lakers against everyone else. A Pimp Name Stern has turned this league into a place where a man named Big Baby is an enforcer. Can you imagine Easy E and Ice Cube wearing Pink Raiders hats and calling themselves Niggas With Attitudes. More like Bitches With Issues. When you have muthafucking Kendrick Perkins and 120 pound Rajon Rondo throwing motherfuckers into scoring tables and mugging people down your league has issues. In the following issue of The LowDown I'm going to discuss what is missing from the NBA and how I would fix it.

• The NBA has always been a league of contrasting styles and personalities, but the one thing you could always count on was it was a league of men. In life there are lovers and fighters and some guys do both. There is nothing wrong with being a lover, but when the time is right you better be prepared to throw down. Larry Bird wasn't a thug, but he was tough. Hit him and he would hit you back. He couldn't really fight, but this is the NBA not the Octagon.Even if you can't fight for shit there is always something to keep you from receiving a world class ass whipping. Do you know what it is called? It is called the break up. You see it in wrestling all the time. Two guys are about to go at it then a bunch of guys run in and break it up and the guys act like they want to fuck each other up while they are going there separate ways. With this in mind. Why does Dirk Nowitski allow David West to slap him in the face in front of millions and for Kenyon Martin to elbow him whenever he goes to the rack.
• There used to be an unwritten rule in the NBA called the no lay up rule. If you went to the hole for a dunk you were put on your ass by an enforcer and you were forced to hit free throws. After going to the paint and receiving elbows and forearm blows players were forced to either develop perimeter games or man up. The Pistons were masters of this strategy. They along with the Knicks forced Michael Jordan to become a better jump shooter. If the game of basketball was all about jumping higher and running faster Jordan and the Bulls would have never loss. There are other elements to the game of basketball like physical and mental toughness. With the exception of the Celtics with Garnett and the Houston Rockets everyone else outplays their opponents with finesse.
• I grew up watching guys like Buck Williams, Charles Oakley,Anthony Mason,Bill Laimbeer,Dennis Rodman,Darryl Dawkins, and Rick Mahorn to name a few. These guys were no nonsense ass kickers. Fuck with them or their teamates and you were going to get fucked with back. Don't get me wrong these guys had skills beyond intimidation, but they were not hybrid forwards like Garnett, Duncan, or Nowitski. They were power forwards who played in the paint and patrolled the area. No matador defense, no perimeter game,just rebounding, hard defense, and a I DON'T GIVE A FUCK WHO YOU ARE ATTITUDE YOU WILL PAY FOR TRYING TO DUNK ON ME OR MY TEAM. As strong as LEBRON is if there were still enforcers in the league he would be a helluva jump shooter right now.
• A Pimp Named Stern does not want his star players hurt, so he instituted flagrant fouls and suspensions for tough fouls. Now everyone is hesitant to touch a player for fear of being suspended. With that said there are no real rivalries.
• Who doesn't remember Jeff Van Gundy holding on to Alonzo Mourning's leg for dear life during the Heat Knicks series. That was some good ass ball back then , because of the physicality and hatred involved.
• If you were too young to remember then go on you tube and watch Kevin McHale hit Kurt Rambis with a clothesline that had Road Warrior Animal saying OH WHAT A RUSH. The Lakers were killing the Celtics and Larry Bird questioned the manhood of his teammates. He said he was tired of seeing Magic shucking and jiving and slapping fives with his teammates. He put the call to arms out there for a few good men and Kevin McHale answered the call and tuned the series in favor of the Celtics.
• I remember Isiah Thomas being left off the Olympic Team and him proceeding to take his frustrations out on John Stockton who made the team. Isaih was abusing him up in Salt Lake City and there was nothing John could do about it, but accept it. Knowing this Karl Malone came to the rescue and elbowed the shit out of Isiah when he was coming down the lane and Isiah received close to 80 stitches. There was know brawl, because both teams understood that's how men settle their beefs. Karl knew what message Isiah was sending by schooling Stockton and Isiah knew why Karl floored his ass with the elbow. Karl was not suspended or thrown out of the game. He was just fined.
• That's the key. Fine guys don't suspend them for playing the game the right way. Hard fouls are not intended to hurt players, but let them know nothing will come easy. Today's game is filled with guys who have no fear of the paint. The other day Rondo challenged Dwight Howard and I was like damn back in the day he would have shot a tear drop or pulled up for a jumper. Dwight Howard should have put his ass in the 5th row and stood over top of him and called him a bitch for bringing that weak shit in the paint.
• What good is being 7foot tall if there is no intimidation or physical presence to your game. Remember Kobe dunking on Yao or everybody dunking on Shawn Bradley. Imagine if they would have knocked some motherfuckers down. Spell it RESPECT.
• Bring back the POWER in power forward and the game will change. I like teams that do things different. The Lakers are uptempo. The Celtics are defensive minded. The Houston Rockets are old school. The Orlando Magic shoot threes. With all that said I don't like watching the NBA unless the Lakers are involved.
• Bring back hard fouls, physical play,hatred and the Power Forward. Imagine this LeBron takes off for a dunk Al Horford hits him high and Josh Smith elbows him in the ribs. LeBron hits the floor hard. The Hawks players stand over top of him and Joe Smith and Ben Wallace come over to push the Hawks out of the way so they can pick LeBron up. There is some pushing going on. Players calling each other Bitches and Motherfuckers and finger pointing. Guess what happens now we are watching the next game and LeBron and the rest of the Cavs know that if they go in the paint they better ring the bell and watch both ways before they cross the street.
• I'M OUT LIKE THE HEAT IN SEVEN.