The Low Down "PLAYOFF EDITION"

ACCCHHHUUUU! ACCCCHHHHUUUUU! Sorry about that sneezing but I'M ALLERGIC TO BULLSHIT AND BUFFOONERY AND I'M BREAKING OUT INTO A RASH. I don't know what the fuck Charles Barkley is talking about, but his act is old now. His comments are no longer shocking or cutting edge they are just moronic rants from a man trying to to keep himself relevant. Charles your playing days are over so stop trying to be the class clown. That shit was funny years ago but just like Sinbad it's time for you to go away or at least give me some insight into the inner workings of the NBA that only a former player would know. I have watched you first pick the Jazz, then the Rockets, and now the Nuggets to beat the Lakers. Who are you going to choose next the Birmingham Stallions from the old USFL or how about the Kentucky Colonels from the ABA. NO NO I got it Mugsy Bogues, Reggie Williams, David Wingate and the Poets can fuck the Lakers up or better yet the Lakers have no heart and they are soft so what about the UCONN Women's team. I don't know what the Lakers did to you , but you really need to shut the fuck up. You said and I quote "The LAKERS DON'T DESERVE TO WIN A CHAMPIONSHIP BASED ON HOW THEY PLAYED AGAINST HOUSTON AND FOR THE FIRST TIME IN YOUR LIFE YOU ACTUALLY ROOTED AGAINST A TEAM (LAKERS) TO WIN". The Lakers beat the Rockets 4-3 and people act like they lost. You don't get wins for style points in the NBA. A 40 POINT WIN IS THE SAME AS A 1 POINT WIN. But Romeo the Lakers should have blown out the Rockets without Yao and Tracy playing. I agree but a win is a win. Remember last year win Boston went to seven games with the same Atlanta team that Cleveland swept this year. Did Boston deserve to win the Title last year, because they also went seven games with the Cavs who didn't even have Mo Williams then. The Lakers breezed through the West last year and what did it get them absolutletly nothing. I'm not saying that the Lakers can't play better, but this is not figure skating or body building motherfuckers this is a sport where whoever scores more wins. When you start to get credit for two wins when you blow a bitch out by 40 or get to start the next game off with the number of points that you beat your opponent by then I will give your argument some validity. Until then Barkley stick to Jordan dick riding,gambling and getting your dick sucked by white girls and save the game analysis to guys who actually have something to say that brings valuedto the telecast. You actually make me miss Tim Hardaway's commentary and his shit was the worst. I'm laughing just thinking about that shit. Brad Piff you know what I'm talking about. Remember when you were a kid and you couldn't really dance but your mother made you perform for her friends and they would smile and laugh at your ass while you shucked and jived for a couple of minutes to their amusement. You smiled and you laughed back because you thought they really appreciated your work. Little did you know they were laughing their ass off because you like a cute buffoon shaking your ass for their enjoyment. That's what Barkley has become a buffoon for TNT to strut out in our face so that we can laugh from time to time and comment on his stupid ass statements.

• I hear that the Lakers are soft and have no heart. That means that they are a finesse team that is talented and they sometimes play down to the level of their competition.
• When did Denver become the team to beat in the NBA. Chauncey you must be a bad motherfucker, because all of America has you leading your team past the Lakers and into the finals with a date with the Cavs. nene,the birdman,anthony carter and dohntay lones. Memo to the Lakers: YOU CAN' T WIN BECAUSE YOU DON'T HAVE ENOUGH TATTOOS OR ENOUGH STREET CRED. IT'S NOT ABOUT TALENT.
• I loved the look on the Celtic's faces as the clock was winding down on their season. That shit was priceless. I am going to miss Garnette calling his opponents bitches and motherfuckers though.
• James Harrison of the Steelers turned an invitation to see the FIRST BLACK PRESIDENT OF THE US because he said the PRESIDENT didn't really want to see them because if they had loss the Cardinals would have been the ones getting the invite. I'm still trying to fucking figure out the logic in that shit. That's like saying the only reason why your parents took care of you was because you were their child. Of course dumb ass why would the President invite your ass to the White House unless you did something extraordinary, because he is a nice guy. What black guy in his right mind would turn that shit down? I forgot you are a Pittsburgh Steeler. That explains it.
• When did Kobe lose his skills and become Ed McMahon to Le Bron's Johnny Carson? I think Kobe will have the ultimate laugh. Le Bron have you seen my championship rings.
• Why is everybody offended about Mark Cuban telling Kenyon Martin's mother the truth about her son. If Pau Gasol is soft. What is Kenyon hard? He is a thug on the court. The man has a tattoo of bright red lips on his neck. That shit is gangsta. When the only part of your body not tatted up is your toe nails you are a thug. Kenyon is at his best when he is punking white boys like Dirk and threatening to make them his bitches. I get it he is probably a law abiding citizen off the court who says his prayers and take his vitamins, but on it he is ruthless and we are all thinking the same thing. That motherfucker is a thug.
• Orlando you better win in 6 because ABC and a Pimp Named Stern will never ever let you win game 7 in Cleveland.
• Lakers vs Rockets was the highest rated game ever on ABC.
• Why do people hate the Lakers, Cowboys and Yankees so much? I have my theory, but I would like to know your thoughts.
• This just in Brett Favre was seen yelling out give me two numbers twos and a number 4 no change that I want three number fours and a number 5 jumbo package super size on four. I guess that means he wants to play this season after all.
• Can someone tell me what the fuck is twittering. Do you really want to know when I'm wiping my ass or soaking my balls in hot buttermilk to keep them smooth? To motherfuckers who do that shit get a life.
• If I hear this shit one more time I'm going to lose my mind. When Lamar Odom brings his A game the Lakers are tough to beat. Yeah and if GMoney would have never smoked that shit the Carter would have never been infiltrated, the CMB would still be together and the Dunna Man would have never died. Moral of the story is don't gamble on crackheads.
• Did you know the NHL playoffs are going on right now. I think they are being shown on the Oxygen channel right after Ellen reruns and before the best of Martha Stewart.
• Another baseball season is upon us and their is optimism in the air. A wise man told me their are only a couple of things you can always count on happening. Death, taxes,Brett Favre not knowing about his future, Kanye producing every ones' hit records,50 talking about retiring, Diddy stealing money from his artists,Triple H wearing gold,Shaq jocking whoever the best player is,the Yankees spending money,the Deadskins spending money,Federer losing to Nadal,Caliprairi getting the best players money can buy,black coaches getting fired after their first losing season and the Orioles dick teasing you in April . Oh yeah and the Wayans making stupid ass movies.
• I'm out like anybody fighting Manny Pacio.