NFL LOW DOWN WEEK 3

1. The Cowboys dismantled the Packers in LAMBEAU FIELD and I know there is know such thing as a statement game in week 3 , but asked the Packers how they feel. Aaron Rodgers look like a rookie QB and the Packers were dominated up front. Memo to the NFL keeping on double teaming TO. Whitten , Barber, Felix Jones, Crayton, and now Miles Austin are not enough to beat you.
2. Is it just me or is it starting to feel like the late 80's. The NFC seems like the best division in football right now. The only difference is Jimmy Johnson is on Fox. Buddy Ryan is on a a ranch somewhere. Bill Parcells is in Miami and Joe Gibbs is doing the Nascar thing.
3. The Ravens, Bills, and Titans undefeated. Each team has a running game, great defense, and QB'S that know how to manage a game. Somewhere Brian Billick is saying I have seen this somewhere before.
4. The Giants are quietly going about their business. I just wish someone would recognize they are the defending Super Bowl champs. Put their ass on prime time every week and see if Eli can handle the heat.
5. DON'T LOOK NOW BUT THE COLTS ARE 1-2 AND IF THE VIKINGS DON'T CHOKE THEY WOULD BE WINLESS. Couldn't happen to a better franchise.
6. There are a lot of broke bastards in the world right now. The reason why I gave up gambling is because of shit like the Dolphins 38 Pats 13. No one saw this coming. Only in the NFL does upsets like this happen. The Grizzlies Couldn't beat the Lakers even if Kobe and Gasol decided to retire. I guess that's why they play the game.
7. A sign the world is coming to an end the Raiders and the 49ers have more wins than the winless Bengals and Browns.
8. The Chiefs may go 0-16. They are the worse team in the NFL. Why did Herm (YOU PLAY TO WIN THE GAME) Edwards take this job. The Jets job seemed much better than the Chiefs. By the way can you name the QB for the Chiefs. I can't.
9. It took eight years of losing for Matt Millen to loose his job as GM of the lions. Who owns the Lions Peter Angelos.
10. Pats players are mad that they were booed by their fans last week while losing to the Dolphins. That's what happens when fans become spoiled. When you spend your money to attend sporting events you have the right to boo or cheer, but the Pats haven't loss in 21 games and they are the model franchise in sports right now. You want to see bad football g.o to Detroit or KC or Florida St. . No arrests, 3 SUPER Bowls,always in the playoffs, just signed Randy Moss, best QB in the game Tom Brady. Yeah I would boo their asses too. You should have given them a standing ovation and showed them your appreciation for the brand of ball you play. Remember this when your franchise becomes like the O'S.
11. I'M OUT LIKE MICHAEL STRAHAN.

Confidential

• I obtained this letter from a good friend of mine in the NFL OFFICE and I thought I would share it with you. This is Pac Man Jones reinstatement letter to Roger Goodell.
• What's good , Roger? I mean what's Goodell, Roger?
• I'm just playing, Commish Goodell. This is your boy Pac Man Jones. My agent said I needed to holla at you about being reinstated. Well, as you know, I do a lot of community service supporting single mothers one dollar at a time.
• I've included some reference letters from a few of the tricks I mean lovely ho's I've helped get through nursing school. They were to embarrassed to include their last names, but I'm sure you will be impressed when you read the heart-tugging letters from Lexus,Diamond, Mercedes, and Chrystall. Without my rain, these independant hardworking women would not be in their eighth year of nursing school.
• Also my good friend Forrest Hump, the owner of Magic City, has constructed a graph highlighting the negative economic impact my suspension has had on strip clubs in Atlanta. Pac Man's suspension has been worse than Flava Flav's sitcom on Fox. The impact has been worse than gas prices. President Bush calls my rainmaking TRICKLE-DOWN ECONOMICS. Sincerely Adam Jones
• Some of the contents were difficult to read because it was a copy of a copy, but I just wanted to share thius wqith you guys.
• I'm out like Arod's wife.

Free The Birds... GODDAMITT

• 10 Straight years of losing and no hope in sight. Ratings are down, ticket sales are down, merchandice sales are down and no one in charge seems to care. There are several things we can always count on happening yearly:death, taxes, Pac Man Jones making it rain in a strip club, an Elvis sighting, The Man fucking with O.J., Tyler Perry making the only black film of the year, and the O's not contending in The American League East.
• Whether we want to admit it or not we are crackheads when it comes to the O'S. Every year we can't wait to get that fix. We smoke it up and then we wonder why we feel like shit. We are wondering around scratching ourselves, smelling like shit, broke and begging for someone to help us. You know the definition of an addict: one who devotes or surrenders oneself to something habitually or obsessively. That's us. Every spring we are optimistic that this is the year things are going to be different. They make some half ass free agent signings , talk about their plan to improve, and their committment to winning and we buy it.
• Once upon a time I thought Peter Angelos cared about winning and the feelings of the people in Baltimore. Boy was I wrong. The Ravens have came in and captured the hearts of longtime O'S fans. Angelos only cares about spending just enough money to turn a profit. I don't have a problem with him making money, but if that is all he cares about then sell the team. FREE THE BIRDS.
• Do you know who is the last everday player to come through our farm system and produce? Does the name Cal Ripken ring a bell? Cal started with the O'S BACK IN 1982. That is a span of 26 years without producing an all star calliber player . Let me put in perspective for you.
• IN 1982 HIP HOP WAS NOT RECOGNIZED BY THE GRAMMYS
• IN 1982 MICHAEL JACKSON WAS THE BADDEST THING GOING AND THRILLER WAS RELEASED
• THE TOP TELEVISION SHOWS WERE, HILL STREET BLUES, BARNEY MILLER, AND TAXI
• E.T. WAS THE BIGGEST MOVIE OF THE YEAR
• NO WILLIAMS SISTERS, MARTINA NAVRATILOVA BEAT CHRIS EVERT LOYD IN WILMBERLAND
• 49ERS BEAT THE BENGALS IN THE SUPERBOWL
• I can't take 10 more years of ANGELOS and all of this losing. The Yankees and THE Red Sox aren't going anywhere. Right now I don't trust you to do the right thing , so just sell my franchise. Honestly if you moved the team I would be hurt in the beginning, but I would get over it. I don't go to that shit anyway. The O'S are embarrassing to the city and so are you. If it wasn't for the Yankees and the Red Sox you would never sell tickets. Once August rolls around people turn their to the Ravens and the stadium looks like a crowd at a pee wee league game. The Cubs haven't won a World Series in 100 years, but their fans love their team, because they try. We haven't been to the World Series in 25 years and doubt if we will ever go again doing my lifetime. I have divorced myself from baseball until their is a change in my team. I put that on Brad Piff's unborn. Peter I beg you do the right thing FREE THE BIRDS. It's not just about winning or going to the playoffs . It's about hope and right now there is none. The Orioles Way died when Earl Weaver retired and all hope left when Cal retired. None of your former players want anything to do with you. Yankee players will retire rather than play for someone else and they will actually shed tears when they are traded. Mike Mussina couldn't wait to leave the O'S and put on that NY cap. Peter FREE THE BIRDS MOTHERFUCKER!
• I'M OUT LIKE THE LAST PERSON IN LINE AT A HANAH MONTANNA SHOW!

NFL LOW DOWN

• The biggest suprise to me after the first two weeks is that people are suprised at the play of Donovan Mc Nabb. This man for my money has always been one of the top QB'S in the League and when he is on he does things no one else can do. With the exception of T.O. he has never really had an all pro receiver, yet all he does is put up pro bowl numbers, win, and not complain. The highest compliment I can pay Mc Nabb is that even though he is an Eagle I like him and he does me proud as a black man quarterbacking in the NO FUN LEAGUE.
• Norv Turner is a better man than me , because if my team had lost because of a blatant fuck up by the referee I would have been given the highest fine in NFL history for fucking up a referee. The game I'm talking about was the Broncos/Chargers game. On an obviuos fumble that Stevie Wonder even said the ref just fucked up he dropped the ball, a whistle was blown ending the play. I'm going to give Godell the benefit of the doubt, but this smells like some pimp name Stern shit.
• I don't like them bastards, but the Pats are the model franchise in sports period. They get rid of star players( MILLOY,MC GINNEST,BRANCH,PATTON,SAMUEL) and don't miss a beat. Brady is out for the season, but they haven't loss yet and they look the same. If I was a GM I would hire their guy that hangs the jerseys up in their locker room to coach my team.
• Look out the Packers are 2-0 and loving life with A.Rodgers at QB. I still would not have gotten rid of Brett, but they have moved on and look good the first two weeks. The Boys will give them a reality check and make them chant we want Brett, we want Brett.
• The Ravens sound like Bitches complaining about not having a bye week, because of the hurricanes in Houston.Prior to 1990 teams have always played 16 straight games without a break. Plus history shows the bye week means nothing as far as win and losses are concerned. Teams coming off a bye only win half of the time, so stop bitching millionares and play ball. I'm pretty sure their are some families in Houston willing to trade places with you.
• Oakland,Minn,KC,Miami,SF,Houston, and Baltimore, all need QB'S yet Donte Coulpepper is forced to retire. Vinnie Testerverde who is 62 years old was a back up for the Pats last yeaer. This man had one of the best seasons in the history of the NFL 4 years ago, but he can't get a try out with the Chiefs. You have got to be kidding me. The Pats starting QB whose name I don't know hadn't started a game since highschool yet he starts for the best organization in sports. Racism what do you think.
• The Cowboys/Eagles game was the highest rated cable program ever watched. America's team,TO-MC NABB,ROMO,PAC MAN JONES EQUALS RATINGS. I want to see what other games lives up to this type of hype not counting the Super Bowl.
• Can you imagine if Mark Cuban owned the Raiders. They would be a top 5 organization again.
• Tony Romo,Drew Brees, Eli Manning,Aaron Rodgers,Kurt Warner,Donavan Mc Nabb NFC QB';S. Payton Manning, Carson Palmer,Matt Cassel, Big Ben, Brett Favre AFC QB'S. I think for this year the NFC is a little better than the AFC.
• I don't agree with everything he does, but Jerry Jones lives and dies with his team. Can you say the same for the owner of the Cardinals, the Chiefs, the 49ers, and the Vikings.
• I'm out like Brian Billick.

Things That Make You Say HMMMMMM....

1. The Jonas Brothers millionares, Hanah Montana millionare, The Olsen twins millionares, Gary Coleman angry,broke ,doing security work and fucking up bitches, Hammer broke but preaching the good word, K -CI and JoJo living together in their one bedroom apt waiting for the 90's to call ooooooh yeahhhhhhh. WAS WRONG WITH THAT PICTURE. HMMMMMM


2. Why do guys like Kanye West even bother with trying to be famous. He spends the majority of his life as an unknown wanting to be recognized. Then once he becomes famous he wants to live the life of an unknown and be left alone. He doesn't want his photograph taken, yet he put out a video about his near death accident. What the fuck? hmmmmm


3. Is it just me or has times changed? Would you have gotten involved with your woman if it was a tape of her out there SUCKING RAY J'S DICK. THAT''S BRANDY I MEAN MOESHA'S BROTHER turning your woman out and all your boy's got the footage. Better man than me. It's one thing to fuck and suck. It's another thing to fuck and suck Ray mutherfucking J on DVD
4. Did they ever find out who killed Biggie and Tupac? hmmmmm


5. Take Will Smith out of the equation. If it wasn't for Tyler Perry would there be any lead roles for Black American's. hmmmmm


6. Is it just me or does Jalen Rose and The Steelers Heinz Ward look like long lost brothers.?just wondering. hmmmmm
7. I think Bill Bellicheck is the greatest leader I have ever seen in my life. His team follow his orders, are always prepared and never beat themselves. He makes unknown mutherfuckers believe. I don't know bout you but I want Bellicheck to have a pre game talk with my women and tell her its okay its okay to go three wide. The two back set works, but I think we could score more if we went three wide and cleared the backfield. hmmmm
8. Are motherfuckers that desperate that they actually use shit like Cialis when they can't get the yang up. Have you ever seen the commercial and them bitches they huggin. I'd go limp to, but seriously them side effects are dangerous., 24 hour erections, growth of a third nipple, love for anal sex, and the need to cuddle after sex. What do you think? hmmmm
9. Have you watched MPT latlely I heard the remix for sesame street and thought I turned to BET by mistake. That shit sounded like a Timbaland track. Before you comment you low grade bastards I'm not R. KELLY searching for under age ass. I was just flipping the channels, but why do we feel the need to have to change a good thing to satisfy new jack mutherfuckers. hmmmm
10. I was thinking about my childhood and either we were bored to death or we were stupid as shit. We used to tie bath towels around our necks and jump off buildings as if that shit made you fly. We begged our mothers to buy us zips so we could run faster and we actually believed our parents when they said Santa won't be bringing your ass anything because you keep acting up. Cap n crunch must have been a helluva drug.

Things That Make You Say HMMMMMM....

1. I recently heard that O'Shea Jackson was releasing a new album. That's Ice Cube to yall new jack motherfuckers. Why is that so called NIGGA WITH ATTITUDE after years of making Nickelodian films with Miley Cyrus and Raven Simonne now wants to return to his roots and make hardcore music again. Did someone revoke his ghetto pass or does he really need the money. HMMMMM
2. Can someone please tell me what Jessie Jackson does for a fucking living? What does his W2'S SAY FOR OCCUPATION? I know he is a civil rights activist, but I missed that in the help wanted ads in the paper. Did he go to school for that shit or did he know someone and got the hook up? HMMMMMM
3. Now that the Wire is gone can you name one predominately black television show on cable or network TV. Reruns of Living Single don't count. Neither does Run's House. HMMMMM
4. Teddy Riley recently filed for bankruptcy. I GUESS HE WON'T BE RUNNING HIS ZOOM ZOOM ZOOM WITH ANYBODY'S BOOM BOOM BOOM ANYTIME SOON SOON SOON. Serioulsy though why is that every successful black person in the music industry cries broke at some point in time but Vanilla Ice stills has mad loot. HMMMMM
5. Sign we live in a racist society. Superman white. Batman white. Meteorman black. Hancock what the fuck. Explain that shit to your kids. HMMMMM
6. No Brian Billick. No Kyle Bowler. The RAVENS GOT RID OF THEIR PROBLEMS THEY SHOULD BE SUPER BOWL BOUND NOW. HMMMMMMMM
7. I was watching the news the other day and this little black kid lost his life as the result of a stray bullet. First of all a homeless dog is a stray. A bullet will always find a home. They commented on the situation did the same lazy ass interviews with the neighbors and moved on. At the Preakness a couple of months ago a horse broke his leg and they had to kill him. The public outcry was incredible and they even launched an investigation for a mutherfucking horse. I don't know about you, but I don't give a rat's ass about no horse. Why are animals lives valued more than blacks? HMMMMMMMM
8. Why is Seven Eleven like Crack? No matter what the item you know you can get it cheaper somewhere else yet like Pookie you hear that shit calling you and you shop there anyway. Add up the amount of money you could have saved by going somewhere else and your no different than a crackhead . 4.00 for some bread that's bullshit. What the fuck do they put in them big bites and them big gulps to get a bitch hooked and can I get some of that shit. I want to open a store soon. HMMMMM
9. At Eastern's motors your job your's credit commercials are stupid as shit, but I can't get that stupid ass jingle out of my head. Can you? HMMMMMMM
10. Outside of of making the band who the hell is signed to Bad Boy Records and while were at it outside of Jay, kanye and bleek who the fuck is in the Roc. What is Dame Dash doing with all his spare time. Making another successful BET reality show like the Ultimate Hustler. HMMMMMMMM

HOW A PIMP NAMED STERN RUINED THE NBA

When I look at the NBA now on television it's like looking at Speed Racer when they put it in the Movie Theater. I know the intentions are good, but the finish results are all fucked up. You can't make changes to a successful product and not expect backlash. UNLESS. THAT'S RIGHT UNLESS YOU A HAVE AN ALTERIOR MOTIVE. What am I talking about you say I'll get to that but first let me give you some background information on the one they call A.I.

A.I. or Allen Iverson to my Anglo Saxon brethern was the most explosive scoring guard under 6 feet that I have ever seen in my life. His crossover was second to none just ask MJ. My bad Michael Jordan to the pure christian white man. He crossed Jordan up so bad that he waited for him to recover and he did it again just for laughs. (All of you Jordan dick riders go on youtube and type in Iverson crossover on Jordan for the proof.) A.I. was scoring champ, MVP, took his team to the finals and he was recognized as one of the best if not the best in the game. A.I. had the best of both worlds. He had street credit and the respect of the media. He even had white boys wanting to be like him and not the daisy duke wearing John Stockton or the most over rated MVP in history Steve Nash. Jordan was retiring yet again and David Stern needed someone to replace him. The thought of that corn rolled , tatooed up bufoon being the face of his league worried Stern. It's one thing for black guys to copy A.I., but now he's fucking with the pure christian white man. I can't have that not on my watch thought Stern.

This is where the plot thickens. The NBA has always been made up of stars. Do you think the Bulls won rings, because they had the best team. Hell no they had the two best players in the league. With illegal defense in place and no zone defense Jordan could dominate teams with the help of Scottie Pippen. You could not double team players who did not have the ball and isolation was the key for good players. You line up on one side of the court and tell your teamates to get the hell out of the way so that you could go 1 on 1. The Lakers were the last team to benefit from this before the rules were changed. Kobe and Shaq won three in a row then something happened. Stern put in rules to allow zone defenses along with double and triple teaming off the ball. He also demanded that palming violations be called on Iverson's famous crossover. All of a sudden Team Ball prevailed and superstar players were never heard of again. A PIMP NAMED STERN TOLD EVERYBODY TO LOVE IT OR LEAVE IT. Remember Vince Carter unstoppable before the rule change a jump shooter like Steve Kerr after the change. T-Mac went from scoring titles and being a top 5 player to being just good. Kobe got beat by teams like the celtics and pistons who had players that he was cleary better than. He lost because their whole teamed defended him with the new rules and shut him down. If the old rules were in place he would have shitted on them. Jordan made a living off of schooling teams that were better than his teams, because he was the best player on the court. A.I. went from unstoppable to tradeable. Do you think Philly would have taded A.I. if he could still attack defenses like he did when he first came in. Guys like Garnett, Webber, and Raheed go from dunking on fools and grabbing their nutts to shooting jumpers and looking like Bill Laimbeer. These guys had to change their games and personalities to fit today's NBA. Stern likes teams like the Spurs and the Pistons to win, because they personify team. I don't want to see that shit. America you fell in love with Jordan , because of the things he did to guys on the court. Imagine Jordan shooting jumpers all day. His teams wouldn't win AND YOU DAMN SURE WOULDN'T BUY HIS SHOES. Stern took away creativity and individuality on the court and replaced it with glorified scripted basketball that no one looks at. Imagine this scenerio game 7 LAKERS AND CAVS. IT'S THE 4TH QUARTER AND KOBE HAS 47 AND LEBRON HAS 38. THE GAME IS TIED AND IT'S MANO E MANO. PLAY AFTER PLAY IS MADE AND THE MOVES ARE SPECTACTULAR. IT WOULD BE THE HIGHGEST RATED GAME EVER. KOBE COMES DOWN JUKES DELONTE WEST( NO ZONE DEFENSE) AND DUNKS ON BEN WALLACE AND 1. LEBRON COMES DOWN POSTS UP ODOM SPINS ON HIM AND DUNKS ON GASOL. THAT SHIT IS HOT. THEY GO TO COMMERCIAL BREAK AND YOU SEE KOBE'S NEW COMMERCIAL FOR HIS SHOES CALLED LET THE MAMBA LOOSE. THEN A FEW SECONDS LATER YOU SEE LEBRON SELLING FRUIT OF THE LOOM UNDERWEAR. THEY RESUME PLAY KOBE CALLS ISO AND LEBRON ENDS UP ON HIM GAME TIED 10,9,8,7,6, KOBE SHAKES , SPINS , FADES AWAY AND. Now wake your dumb ass up , because it's not going to happen. To protect Jordan's legacy and the league's image A PIMP NAMED STERN put theses rules in place.Kobe will never be better than Jordan, because he was never allowed. Lebron not even close. He will start to get tripled teamed after he gets better at shooting the juumper and he hasn't even won a ring yet. The next time you hear how the Celtics stopped Kobe look at how they did it. Then go look at the footage of Jordan shooting over the likes of Craig Ehlo, John Starks, Bryon Russell, and Dan Mahrle.Under today's rules Jordan would have been great, but not the best ever. Rules would not dictate it.

In closing A PIMP NAMED STERN GOT WHAT HE WANTED. THE RESPECT OF WHITE AMERICA, JORDAN'S LEGACY INTACT AND THE ABILITY TON LAY HIS PIMP HAND ON MILLIONARE BLACK BITCHES WITHOUT ANY BACKTALK. I'M OUT LIKE THE ANGOLIAN MEN'S BASKETBALL TEAM.