The Low Down Pre Season

Is this the man you want leading your franchise? I got rid of Bill Parcells for this. Do you know what Wade and myself have in common? Neither one of us have won a mutherfucking playoff game and unless I start coaching soon I don't see that shit changing. I don't really blame Wade though, because we already knew he was a buffoon. I blame that glory hog egotistical buffoon Jerry Jones that put my franchise in this position. We are picked to finish last in our division and when I look at the lack of leadership on the Cowboys I might have to agree. A head coach that has never done shit, an offensive coordinator who should have been coaching the Ravens but he considered himself to good for that shit, an owner that swears he can coach,draft,sign free agents, design stadiums,play the role of commissioner, start at QB and be the face of the franchise, and a QB who whenever he looses says let's just go get them tomorrow. What the fuck is this Hazard County with Jerry Jones playing the role of Boss Hog, Wade Phillips stars as Roscoe Beaco Train and Jason Garrett stars as the innocnet buffoon Cleatus. I know it is only the preseason, but I had to get that commentary of my chest.

• I watched the Pats the other night playing against the Deadskins and Tom Brady has not missed a beat. They look like a well oiled machine and they were playing without the white midget Welker. I want to see the team that can stop that shit at full strength. Did I add that they have Fred Taylor, Randy Moss and Joey Galloway all at 100% capacity. You know I don't like the dick riding but there are a lot of teams out there that need to get the Vaseline ready because you will be taking it up the ass if Brady and Bellicheck have anything to say about it. 17-0 two years ago GOD HELP US ALL.
• While I'm on the Patriots is it just me or have Tom Brady and Peyton Manning switched places over the past couple of years? Tom Brady is putting up numbers and setting records and Peyton Manning is being crafty and doing whatever it takes to win games. Funny how a receiver in his prime Randy Moss and receiver on the decline Marvin Harrison can change a teams outlook on things.
• Until Vick actually plays a game and is reinstated stop asking me about his impact on the Eagles and the NFC.
• If Andy Reid is successful at making Vick a pocket passer Kyle Bowler,Tavarus Jackson and Kordell Stewart should be first in line for lessons.
• Adrian Peterson is the best back, the second best back and the third best back in football. Name me the next best back not named Peterson.
• All is quiet on the T.O. front. Don't you all wish he was still in Big D. Let's see what his impact will be in Big B this year.
• You know what this all you are getting right now. Me and my crew will be bringing you the Low Down coming soon to network TV. We are in negotiation with a major computer network outlet and I will let you know when it is finalized.
• I'm out like Plaxicos's NFL career.

The Low Down NBA FINAL'S EDITION

The NBA season is over and the Lakers are Champions. All is right in the world. If you are like me you can't wait for the NFL to start, because watching Baseball is like looking at the new season of 90210. You watch because you were a fan once before, but you just can't get with the new batch of characters. You keep waiting to see Brandon or Dylan and all you get is buffoons. MLB has about 6 teams worth watching and the rest are already thinking about their off season plans. Bud Selig fix my shit and give me something to look at during the summer other than ass even though there is nothing wrong with that.

• How does Shaq keep himself relevant even when he is past his prime and his team didn't even make the playoffs? The man got more coverage during the NBA Finals than Lil Dez and the Nike Puppet commercials. Shaq is the P-DIDDY OF THE NBA. DON'T DO SHIT, LEECHES OFF OF MORE TALENTED PEOPLE, BAD MOUTHS FORMER FRIENDS AND STILL MAKES MONEY. Yeah and Kobe is the bad one.
• Dear Romeo, That ring that Phil had on looked fantastic. I wonder which one he was wearing, but it doesn't matter some of us can only dream about being that good. Signed Barkley's fingers
• Hey Romeo, There are going to be some big names out there in free agency come 2010 and it will impact the playoff picture in a big way. If Lebron is smart he will make his decision wisely and seek counsel before doing something stupid. I would hate to see such a talented superstar have to suffer. Yours Truly The NBA FRONT OFFICE
• Yo Romeo, I LOVE KOBE BRYANT MORE THAN VANESSA EVER WILL. WE HAVE A SPECIAL RELATIONSHIP AND I HAVE BEEN SEEING HIM FOR THE LAST 12 YEARS ON A NIGHTLY BASIS.I REFUSE TO STOP SEEING HIM AND THAT'S THAT. SIGNED THE BOTTOM OF THE NET
• Hey Romeo, What is all this fuss about Brett's retirement plans? Can't a person change their mind about a life altering decision. signed Chasity Bono
• Dear Rome, Who said winning a ring without Shaq was going to be tuff. signed DJ BENGA
• Dear Rome, You know what Kobe Bryant's problem is?He is the second coming. If there were no MJ we would all be bearing witness to the GOAT. signed History
• Stan Van Gundy and Ron Jeremy were separated at birth.
• Hey Romeo, Just because the Pittsburgh Steelers won the Super Bowl and the Pittsburgh Penguins won the Stanley Cup that doesn't mean that the Pittsburgh Pirates should have the same opportunity to win in baseball. What do you guys believe in fair play and having the ability to keep your own players? Fuck that sincerely yours Bud Selig
• Dear Romeo, Why do people think that once you are traded to a contender that you actually begin to play harder? I think you should play hard no matter what and always give your all. signed Randy Moss
• Yo Romeo, Tell Turkgolau before you showboat and stick your tongue out after shots win at least two games in the finals. signed Jalen Rose
• If I was Jerry Buss I would keep Odom and Ariza and keep this thing going for years to come.
• Ask Lebron did he bear witness to Kobe winning number 4 and ask him what would he rather have a ring or a MVP trophy.
• Once Dwight Howards develops some low post moves. It's over the Magic are going to dominate for years to come.
• Stop asking if Phil is greater than Red. Of course he is. Red coached when there were only 8 teams in the league. That's a lottery pick even when you win it all. There was no free agency so Red kept the same team for a decade. He had all of the best players and there was no opting out of contracts. Plus there was like two centers Wilt and Russell and Red didn't have to travel all over the place. You only had to visit 7 other cities. Phil took a team that Doug Collins couldn't win with and a Laker team that Dell Harris couldn't win with and won 10 titles. Phil is simply the Goat.
• On my Mt Rushmore of NBA players. You have MAGIC,JORDAN,KOBE AND KAREEM. I didn't see Wilt, Russell or any of the other guys from the 60's and early 70's.
• Imagine if Michael Jordan never existed. You would be dick riding Kobe and his greatness. Kobe is like Burger King and Jordan is McDonald's. It doesn't matter what Kobe does some people don't like flame broiled burgers. Mike is better at the rim and kobe shoots better. Everything else is the same. I will blog on them both tomorrow, but you know what I'm saying.
• I'm out like Lil Dez and the monkey that was on Kobe's back.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  

LAKERS FINALS PHOTOS 09

Romeo's Take

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  After getting their ass beat by the Magic, the leader of the Cavs decided to leave the court without bearing witness to the Magic fans celebrating and shaking the hands of the players that just beat you.
  


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  Queen James excuse was he is a winner and you don't shake hands with someone after they beat you up. He also said he can't stand losing and that he is too much of a competitor to socialize after defeat.
  


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  Ok let me get this shit straight. After the Cavs disposed of the Hawks and Pistons in the first two rounds who was that out there getting his ring and his ass kissed when their series was over. Queen James right.
  


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  Oh my bad he hasn't won a ring yet, so it was just his ass getting kissed. It's ok for someone to congratulate him after defeat, but he is too much of a winner to do the same.
  


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  I don't have a problem with Queen James for not shaking hands, because that's his prerogative. The problem I have is leaving your teammates(the ones you are the supposed leader of) to answer questions about your play and how they feel about being on the receiving end of that ass whupping.
  


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  Instead of promoting the league, the NBA promotes you and Kobe before the finals even started.
  


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  Your problem Queen James is that there is no one around you to tell you that your wrong. Your boys won't tell you , because their on your payroll. Cavs ownership is terrified of losing you to NY so they won't even comment. Nike please they need you to sell overpriced shoes to inner city youth with limited income and insufficient funds.
  


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  I know someone you might listen too. Kobe the puppet. LEBRON HAVE YOU SEEN MY CHAMPIONSHIP RINGS.
  


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  Only in Cleveland can you get away with wearing a NY Yankees cap in an interview outside of your arena when their is speculation that you may be going there. That shit wouldn't fly anywhere else, but what should I expect from a city like Akron,Ohio. Other than Lebron the only other famous person I know from Akron is JAY REE and I wouldn't know him if it wasn't for God. LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT. That was the ultimate sign of disrespect and no one called you out on it.
  


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  You were sending a message to the Cavs ownership that you are not going to sign a contract if you have to carry this team again and some significant changes better happen or Madison Sq. Garden hear I come. You said more by saying less and your actions were felt by an entire nation.
  


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  Queen James is no different than Kobe except he just pretends to like his teammates until they loose.
  


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  Your good enough to pose for pictures with and hang around as long as you do your job, but fail me and I will abandon you quicker than STAR SCREAM DID MEGA TRON. I only pretend to like you motherfuckers, because in reality I would rather play with DWADE and Chris Bosh in NY and have my mascot JAY Z cheering us on. Other than that I really do love you guys and I will battle with you until my contract runs out next year.
  
• Enough about Queen James what I really want to know is HOW DO YOU KNOW HOW BAD A PLAYER REALLY WANTS TO WIN?
  
• Here are a few examples of players wanting to win and their actions being shown for all of the world to see.
  
• Rogere Federer actually cried after losing in the WIMBLEDON FINALS to Nadal. Now his bitch ass really wanted to win.
  
• Magic Johnson showed anger after injuring his hamstring against the Pistons in the 89 Finals and the obvious disgust was shown by his body language.
  
• Kobe Bryant was heard telling his team no mercy in the conference finals against the Nuggets. He sounded like he was in a bunker in Iraq fighting the war on terrorism.
  
• In practice Michael Jordan punched Steve Kerr in the eye when Kerr's team beat Jordan's team. AI said that was practice were talking about practice not a game practice.
  
• Does any of this mean anything to you? Do these guys really want it more than their teammates? Lamar Odom has always been questioned about his attitude and dedication to winning. An LA doctor recently suggested that Odom's love of candy may be the reason why his energy level is never consistent from game to game. Lamar consumes bags of candy everyday because he said he has a love of sugar. GUMMY BEARS, WHITE CHOCOLATE, SNICKERS, M&M'S, AND HONEY BUNS. He says he wakes up in the middle of the night and chows down on a couple of bags before going back to sleep. This is concerning.
  
• Memo to the Lakers don't over react. The first inclination is to have an intervention and get him some help. I say just get him through this series. Have a couple of boxes of candy ready doing timeouts and hook him up. Have IVS of sugar ready to pump it in him at halftime if you have too. Feed his addiction. Don't try to wain him off of it. Instead of drawing up plays let everybody down some gummy bears to get that extra boost.
  
• Memo to Mike Brown it looks real bad when your Asst. Coach is drawing up plays during a timeout and your trying to look busy by rubbing Queen James shoulders and whispering in his ear don't fire me I need this gig. (YOU KNOW LEBRON IS THE REAL GM). Next time at least move your lips when your in front of the team. It looks better on Camera.
  
• I'm out like Queen James and his puppet commercials. I AM A WITNESS.
  

GAME 6 LAKERS VS NUGGETS PHOTOS

Hope you got enough bait to last you a lifetime, so you can enjoy fishing with Lebon and his Cavs this summer mutherfuckers. Kobe got to hug La La. Lucky Bastard.

Letter's to Romeo

• Hey Romeo, I'm tired of the criticism giving to the master of panic Stan Van Gundy. His leadership qualities in tuff times should never be questioned and I would be Proud to play for this man anytime. Yours Truly,George Bush,Enron, and The Captain of the Titanic
• Dear Romeo, Dahntay Jones and the Nuggets have been labeled thugs unfairly and I don't think they have gotten away with anything. Signed Orenthal James Simpson
• Hey Igromo, Who do Kobe and Lebron think they are? You have to put your time in and become the best before you are allowed to travel and get phantom foul calls in your favor. Sincerely yours Michael Jeffery Jordan
• Yo Romeo, The defense that the Magic are playing on Lebron James thus far has been excellent and I wouldn't change a thing. Keep up the good work Stan. Signed Don Nelson and Mike Dantoni
• Hey Rome, I want to congratulate Mike Brown on winning coach of the year and good luck in two years when you are looking for a job. Signed Avery Johnson and Mike Mitchell
• Dear Igromo, Derek Fisher's shot looks a little off, but I just want to encourage him to keep firing away and eventually they will drop. Signed AI,World B. Free, and John Starks
• Yo Romeo, How does Jay Z do it? He has a bad ass wife at home, but yet there has been reports of him being seen with other women. I just don't get it. Sincerely yours Eric Benet
• Romeo, Who is Bob Huggins? Signed THE SWEET 16
• Hey Romeo, Double teaming a player goes against every principle of old school. What are the Nuggets trying to against the Lakers actually win the series. Signed Craig Ehlo,Byron Russell, and Dan Maherle
• Dear Romeo Igromo, I take offense to all of this the NBA is fixed like wrestling talk. We have the up most integrity and we fully believe in all of our teams. It doesn't matter to me who plays in the finals as long as Kobe and Lebron are on their teams. Signed David Stern
• Romeo, Kobe Bryant look real tired at the end of game 3 in Denver. A couple laps around the track and a good diet would help him with his stamina and endurance. Signed Rubben Studdard's personal trainer
• Thanks for the letters. I'm out like Little Kim's breasts.

The Low Down "PLAYOFF EDITION" volume 2

By now you guys know what I think about Lamar Odom, but I am going to put my feelings about him in perspective one more time. I love his game and his versatility. I think his skill set for a man his size is unprecedented. With that being said I know Lamar Odom is afraid of success. With his skill set Lamar Odom should be a star on the Lakers, but he loves not having the burden of carrying a team on his back day in and day out. He sees what Kobe goes through daily and says fuck that I want to make my money, have fun, make my money, have fun and make my money. Now here is who Lamar Odom really is. Asking Lamar Odom to perform at a high level night in and night out is like a having a one stand with a fine ass bitch that you just met hanging out on the corner up near Walbrook Junction without using protection. Oh yeah your going to get some short term satisfaction(when you bust that nut), but the prospects of ointment treatment, bozack injections and painful pissing out way that shit. To summarize this shit for you.Lamar Odom is what he is. Recognize what you are going to get with him, don't depend on him for shit and always prepare for the worse. He is that fat ass chick with a blazing body that has DNA from every body's bozack that she has ever sucked living in her jawbone. Is that someone you want to make your wife. Hell no. Keep that shit in perspective. Now on to THE LOWDOWN.

• All of a sudden 66 wins,8-0 through the first two rounds,the reigning MVP and Coach of the year mean absolutely nothing. I hear Lebron has no help and that Mike Brown is a Buffoon. I will not defend the Cavs because I don't give a fuck about them, but I will say this. I'm throwing my chalk in the air, clapping my hands together and bearing witness to them being down 3 games to 1 motherfucker.
• Who would you rather start your franchise with if you had a choice of anyone in the NBA. Naturally I would choose the Black Mamba, but we are talking about the future so I would choose Dwight Howard. Dwight Howard looks like the son of Jerrell and he can dominate the paint on both ends of the court. I don't want to hear that shit about his lack of post moves and his free throw shooting. The man throws up 20/20 games like Tyler Perry makes House Of Payne episodes. It happens nightly.
• To all of you bandwagon jumpers of the Orlando Magic. STOP THAT DICK RIDING! With the exception of the round moon of buffoon Charles Barkley,Reggie Allowishus Miller and Bradd Piff NO ONE gave the Magic a snowballs in hell chance. At most you guys had the Magic winning one game and fishing with the Hawks and Pistons. I heard people saying celebrate your win over the Celtics, because your season is over. Herm Edwards told me over cocktails last night that's why you play to win the game.
• I think Derek Fisher is really hurting and having vision problems since rocking Scola's world with that devastating shoulder block last series. Derek my recommendation since it is obvious you are seeing triple it shoot at the rim in the middle.
• To me Rashard Lewis is the new Mr. Big Shot.
• As I write this the Magic have erased a twenty point deficit to take the lead by five. I'm bearing witness.
• The NBA doesn't know what it means to be discreet. Those Kobe and Lebron puppet commercials are funny, but it' so obvious that is the match up A PIMP NAMED STERN wants.
• George Karl said bad officiating cost his team Game 5 and that they should be winning the series. Let's see Jones trips Kobe no call , Carmello clotheslines Kobe two free throws,Chauncey dropkicks Ariza while driving to the rack defensive foul on Ariza and Jones shoves Kobe from behind while he is driving for a dunk no flagrant called. Hey George get Gary Williams new instructional video HOW TO INBOUND THE BALL 101 and then I will listen to your ass.
• Hey Shack Stan Van Gundy said he remixed your freestyle that you cut on Kobe last year and it's called tell him how that Lake trout taste while you and Steve Nash are out there fishing.
• That dunk Odom had on the Bird Man last night was vicious. I think it took all of that swagger and cockiness out of his ass too. It's hard to look manly with another man's nuts on your neck riding your back like my little pony.
• I'm watching this game and I have one question. How do you get your shot blocked by a man named Boobie.
• Is it just me or does Dahntay Jones look like Hoopz from Flavor of Love twin brother.
• I'm out like the Orioles pennant hopes for the next five years.
• Oh one more thing in the NFL holding penalties are defined and you know what they are . When your team is penalized you are mad at your team 90% of the time. In the NBA what the fuck is the difference between a charge and a block. What is traveling and what the fuck is a crab dribble. What can and can't you say to the Refs to get a T because Garnett curses at his own team so I can only imagine what he is saying to the opposing team. Magic do my bidding. I'm out.