The Low Down

There is so much shit going on right now I don't know where to start.You got A-Fraud still lying about shooting that shit in his ass and T.O looking for a new home after Jerry gave his ass the boot.I know you have been waiting so go get your popcorn sit back,relax,and enoy The Low Down.

• First of all here is my take on T.O. getting cut by the Boys.He wore out his welcome because of one reason and one reason only. The Cowboys didn't win. Jerry Jones who swares up and down that he is the Dr. Phil or Richard Simmons of Football knew what he was getting himself into when he signed T.O.. He figured I will sign Terrell Owens,we will both make money,he will behave because I'm Jerry Jones(EVEN THOUGH HE HAS NEVER BEEN A TEAM PLAYER EVER AND HAS ALWAYS DONE WHAT HE WANTED TOO)and we will win a Super Bowl because I JERRY BARTHALUMEAU JONES knows something that the rest of the free world doesn't know. I know people and I believe everybody deserves a second, third and fourth chance as long as I can make money off of them.
• T.O.'s number one problem is he plays the wrong position and the wrong sport. If he were the QB of the Boys he would get accolades for calling his teamates out and being a vocal leader. Dan Marino does it, Peyton Manning does it,Drew Brees does it, Brett Favre does it and so on and so on. If he were in the NBA he would have to choke his headcoach,buy illegal cell phones and tell all of America that he couldn't feed his family with a measely 9 million dollars a year to get cut. In football if you are not the QB or the Defensive Captain you need to fall in line and shut the fuck up. T.O. is in acapable of shutting the fuck up and just leading by example.
• Wright or wrong he is a lightening bolt for turmoil or confusion. T.O. is the fine looking girl that already has two children,has a label of being a freak,runs her mouth all the time and is ghetto as hell. Yet ever man that she dates figures he can turn that hoe into a housewife and she will not become domesticated. No matter what the warning signs are his charm,his smile and his ability causes owners and Gm's to loose their minds and say I need that mutherfucker despite what people say and I know that things will be different this time because we will treat him well.
• T.O. is still pretty good, but he is no longer a game changer. He is not Fitzgerald or Bouldin. With him the Boys went o-2 in the playoffs and Philly destroyed them in the biggest game of the year with everything on the line 44 to mutherfucking 6. He was second in the league in drops to Braylon Edwards and his ability to get off the line when jammed by bigger corners became a problem. He is 35 years old and he is not the athlete he once was. He influences younger players the wrong way and he creates division in the locker room. You either like him or you don't. That's crazy some of your teamates should be nuetral and just respect you for being a teamate not love or hate you based off what you say to them. No ones questions your work effort and I like that you want the ball, but QB's can't perform if they are constantly looking at you and not at who is open. You cause QB'S to loose focus and the emphasis is no longer the gameplan, but how do I keep T.O. happy.Your career is now defined by destruction rather than production. The collateral damage you have left in wake of your behaivor is catastrophic. Look at the bodycount Steve Marriuchi,Jeff Garcia,Donovan McNabb,Andy Reid,Tony Romo,Jason Whitten,Wade Phillips,and Jason Garrett.The fact that you have the second most touchdowns all time means absolutuley nothing, because you are now a cartoon character. You are a walking informercial.
• Good riddence to the man that said I LOVE ME SOME ME and GET THE POPCORN READY. Go fuck up some other team and do an interview with Stephen A. and tell the world how you are misunderstood. Oakland do the right thing and sign him and Vick and make the Raiders the bad boys again.
• The Daddy is at again and no one seems to call him out on his erratic behaivor. When he left Orlando he blaimed Penny for being to selfish, Brian Anderson couldn't coach, and Mickey Mouse got too much credit for vacationing families wanting to come there during the summer. When he left L.A. it was Kobe's fault, Dr. Buss lied to him,GM Mitch Kupchak was a buffoon and Phil Jackson lied to him even though he was still under contract.When he left Miami Pat Riley turned on him, he was hurt, the team sucked,the media blamed him for their lack of success and Dwade turned on him. In each of these scenerios The Daddy left because he wanted too. No one kicked him out or cut him. He left Orlando and signed with L.A. even though the Magic did not want him too leave. He left the Lakers because he wanted more money and he was still under contract. He was traded from Miami because Pat Riley tried to make him happy by trading him to a contender. Keep in mind that he won CHIPS with each of these teams.
• Now that you have heard the background here is the story. The Heat played the Suns the other night and Dwade and the Daddy barely said two words to each other the whole night. He greeted Shaq the way you do a strange guy that you have just been introduced too with a head nod and a was up. I thought Shaq said Dwade was his little brother, but come to think of it he said that about Kobe, Penny, and Amare were too. I don't know about you but when I greet my brothers they get more than a head bob and a was up. Late in the game Dwade did the unthinkable and he tried to dunk on Shaq only to be put on his ass. Shaq stood over him, looked down at him and walked away. That's your boy though huh. Lebron would have picked Dwade up and carried him to the free throw line and volunteered to shoot his free throws for him, because that his boy.
• While playing Orlando Shaq was accused of flopping by Stan Van Gundy and was dunked on by Dwight Howard. Shaq retaliated by calling Van Gundy a front runner and a master of panic. He said in the biggest game of his career Van Gundy mishandled the game and didn't get him enough touches. In all of my years of watching ball I have never heard a player question a coaches ability to lead his team like this and no one called him on it. He said Chris Bosh was a bitch and referred to him as Ru Paul. Ask Chris how his love life has been doing lately and how does he explain the male membership in his fan club going up 80% ever since Shaq made his comments.. To me the Daddy is the biggest front runner and minipulator there is. He jumps on the bandwaggon of his teams best player and gets America to believe they are buddies. All the while he keeps himself relevant. Then when he leaves he airs out all their dirty laundry and he blames the organization for his lack of success. Keep loving the Daddy and his antics and just remember all these other guys were the problem not him.
• I just got off the phone with Queen James and he told me that his team is elite and nothing short of an NBA title will satisfy his appetite for ruling the basketball universe. Memo to Boston loose tonight and that could be your ass.
• Ray Lewis overplayed his stroke more than a tennage boy fucking a fine ass woman for the first time and feeling that the 30 seconds of humping and moaning was sexually fulfilling to his woman. Somewhere along the line Sugar Ray got bad advice and actually thought he was 22 again. I guess age not results gets you paid in the NFL. Bart Scott got more than double the amount of Ray Lewis and no one on the planet can tell me he was more valuable than Ray last year. I have no sympathy for millionaires, but the fact that Ray received no calls on the first day of free agency spoke volumes how Ray is viewed around the league and how the younger is better card is played.
• If I hear another mutherfucker tell me that Lebron James team is terrible without him and the Lakers are loaded I'm going to hurt somebody bad. Take Lebron and Kobe off of each team and compare the parts that are left. When Andrew Bynum is healthy there is no question as to who the best team is. The Cavs have all star guard Mo williams and Delonte west in their back court. Big Z,Ben Wallace,and Joe Smith up front. The Lakers have Derek Fisher, all star Pau Gasol,luke Walton,Lamar Odom,and Dj Mbenga. Luke Walton is a buffoon.Lamar is a crackhead and Mbenga don't even get know damn run. The teams to me are even and it comes down to KB 24 and Queen James. Don't justify giving Queen James the MVP award by saying his team is worst than Kobe's. Just say he deserves the award. You and I both know who the MVP really is, but the CHIP is what really matters and that's what KB 24 wants. If Bynum stays healthy the rest of his career you can have Queen James, Dwade and Mello it doesn't matter because that boy is going to dominate and the CHIPS should keep on coming to LA.
• Do you know what the difference between Mello and Queen James is? Common Sense. Coach Karl tried to substitute for Mello the other night and he refused to come out of the game. Mistake # 1. Always obey your HEAD COACH. He felt that he didn't do anything wrong and he never apologized. Mistake #2 This is not the Wire. You are not going to loose street cred by acknowledging you were wrong. If anything America loves people who are humble enough to admitt when they are wrong. Mello then said everytime he is subbed for he is going to run to the bench. Mistake#3. You are acting like a spoiled child and your going to keep bringing unwanted attention to the situation. Straight out of the T.O. book of malcontents. You just don't get it. Thats's why you will never be a leader. Denver should cut their losses and trade you while they can. Phoenix wants to get rid of Amare and you would fit perfect with that undisciplined no defense playing Suns team. With all of your off the court problems you owe your team a lot more. You are one of the reasons why today's athlete gets such a bad wrap. Just Keeping it real Mello.
• I wrote a while back that Tank , Pac Man and T.O. needed to go. I knew Pac Man and T.O. deserved to be cut, but I figured they would keep Tank if they needed him. Tank Johnson was like that kid in the back of the classroom that never says anything and keeps his mouth shut because he doesn't want the teacher to call on him. Jerry already feeling good about cutting the other two looked around and said you bitchass is still here get the fuck out of here. Jerry was quoting as saying have morals, respect of others, and common descency feels good. So this is how law abiding citizens feel.
• I see my Gary Must Go campaign has created a lot of heat, but for the wrong reason. I have never questioned his coaching ability, but I said if he doesn't adjust his recruiting stlye and adapt to the year 2009 he needs to resign. Gary gets the most out of his players, but his players suck. Change the players or change the Coach. Either way something must change.
• A.I. was quoted as saying he is willing to accept his role as a reserve for the first time in his career. Memo to A.I. your team plays better when you are not there a nd your coach already said you are going to the bench. You had no choice. Even Ray Charles can see you are just incapable of coexisting with other teamates. I would love to see you and T.O. on an episode of Dr. Phil trying to work out your problems and figure out how two of the most talented athletes in sports can't find a happy home.
• For my moner D. Williams of the Jazz is the best PG in the game and easily one of the top ten players in the game. He has no weakenesses and he destroys Chris Paul evertime they play. If he had the green light it would be frightening as to what he could do.
• Watch the Jazz I think they are the second best team in the West behind L.A. and ahead of the Spurs. Yes I said it and I have been saying it all year. This team is dangerous because they have it all. Also if you are not carefull the Riockets are going to hurt somebody's feelings in the playoffs. Artest and Battier are defensive stoppers and when Yao comes to play they are dangerous. I watch them beat the Cavs and Artest and Battier played outstanding defense on Queen James. This is the formula for playoff basketball. Take away the star and make the other buffoons beat you.
• Buffoon of the week:
• Bobby Bowden. Age catches up with everyone sooner or later. When you cheat and you are the Florida St. Seminoles , but you don't win because of the cheating what does that say about you. It is bad enough that my Seminoles are loosing, but when we can't even win while doing illegal shit it is time to change things. I can't imagine driving a car or fucking my wife when I'm 80 so what the hell makes FSU think Bowden can coach at that age? What did you do last Wednesday around 4:00 pm.? I can't remeber either. Bowden can't remember his fucking name let alone what he did 5 minutes ago.Bobby resign you have nothing left to proove. You will only ruin your legacy by staying and cheating and losing.
• I'm out like Chris Bosh's pride.