NBA FASTBREAK ISSUE #2

A lot of exciting things happened this week in the NBA and I am going to recap them. A PIMP NAMED STERN could not have been happier. Hey Stern stop dick riding the Celtics and Queen James.

• After the show THE MAMBA put on Monday night in the Gaaaawden Queen James tried to do him one better by dropping a triple double on the Knickerbockers. Queen James display was awesome, but it was lacking something and this is no knock on the second best player in the game. To me it just seemed like Lebron forced his shots up and there was no drama.
• This summer while I was vacationing in Beijing I caught up with Lebron and I asked him about his relationship with Kobe. Lebron said he and Kobe became real close during the Olympics and he learned a lot about preparation and being a complete player from Kobe. He said Kobe is one of top five players to ever play this game and that he would be a fool not to pick his brain.
• Now I am no fool, so I questioned some of his friends and they said secretly that Lebron was bothered by playing second fiddle to Kobe in the Olympics. He is used to be the Rock Star of the group and he didn't know how to deal with playing the Scottie Pippen role. He has know animosity towards Kobe, but he wants to be the best. It also bothered Queen James that the Gaaaawden didn't embrace him like they did Kobe. He wanted to be cheered, but they booed him. That's life Lebron. Everyone gets booed at the Gaaaawden, but the MVP cheers that Kobe got were for the appreciation of not only putting on a show, but playing the game the right way and not necessarily gunning for a record. When Mike dropped the double nickle on the Knickerbockers no one saw it coming. Same thing Monday night. I knew Kobe was not going to let the Lakers loose especially after the bad news they received about Bynum, but I didn't see 61 coming. No one saw 81 coming either on the Raptors a couple years ago. That's what makes these things special. Lebron you are trying to force people into adoring you instead of letting your play attract people to you. Just keep playing your game and people will appreciate you for being Lebron not for trying to be Kobe or Mike. Your skills are unique and you are not Kobe or Mike. You are the first Lebron.
• Many of my peers believe the Celtics are still the favorites to win the finals even after losing to the Lakers twice. I believe that in a seven game series Kobe will not let his team loose to the Celtics again. Last nights game came down to who wanted it more. The Lakers were playing their third game in four nights and KG was coming back after sitting out the past three games all Celtics wins I might add. Kobe hit three big threes in Pierce's face and willed his team to victory when he didn't have a good shooting night.
• The key was Casper finally showing up. Who is Casper you are thinking? Lamar Odom that's who crackhead number#1. Whenever Casper shows up the Lakers are a dangerous team. After that shoving match with Garnett in which Garnett called him a Bitch Odom seemed to wake up. Still I am not going to pat this Bitch on the back. He is the biggest dick teaser on the planet replacing my 8th grade teacher who had the biggest set of textbooks I have ever laid my eyes on. One good game out of 49 doesn't cut it. Either produce or trade this mutherfucker!
• Who died and made the Celtics the JUNIOR WARLORDS OF THE NBA. These mutherfuckers talk more trash than Kanye Tida and 50 cents combined. Kg wanted to fight after Casper patted him on the ass and Rondo tried to bump Kobe, but Kobe put him in his place. I think the Celtics really believe that the LAKERS are soft and that they can Bitch them. Memo to the Lakers go out and Kenyon Martin and all this soft shit will stop. Motherfuckers are going to try you all, because Bynum is out but yall really need to man up.
• The other night in Denver Coach Pop did something that I admire. I hate the Spurs, but I respect their franchise and what they have accomplished. The Spurs were playing their third game in four nights and Pop told A PIMP NAMED STERN and the NBA to kiss his ass and he rested Duncan,Parker, and Ginobli. Even though he threw the game he prooved his point and protected his players. Thats how you gain the respect of your team and have them play hard for you everynight.
• Here is my top 5 list of players by position
• PG 1)MAGIC JOHNSON 2)ISIAH THOMAS 3)JOHN STOCKTON 4)KEVIN JOHNSON 5)JASON KIDD
• SG 1)MICHAEL JORDAN 2)KOBE BRYANT 3)CLYDE DREXLER 4)PENNY HARDAWAY 5)JOE DUMARS
• SF 1)LARRY BIRD 2)JAMES WORTHY 3)SCOTTIE PIPPEN 4)BERNARD KING 5)DOMINIQUE WILKINS
• PF 1)KARL MALONE 2)CHARLES BARKLEY 3)KEVIN MCHALE 4)TIM DUNCAN 5)KEVIN GARNETT
• C 1)KAREEM ABDUL JABARR 2)HAKEEM OLAJUWAN 3)SHAQ ONEAL 4)MOSES MALONE 5)DAVID ROBINSON
• TOP 5 DUNKERS
• 1)VINCE CARTER 2)DOMINIQUE WILKINS 3)MICHAEL JORDAN 4)KOBE BRYANT 5)CLYDE DREXLER
• TOP 5 SHOOTERS
• 1) LARRY BIRD 2)REGGIE MILLER 3)GLENN RICE 4)RAY ALLEN 5)DIRK NOWITZKI
• THESE GUYS HAD IT ALL BUT DRUGS, FUCKING BITCHES, INJURIES AND EATING STOP THEM FROM BEING THE BEST
• 1)LARRY JOHNSON 2)DERRICK COLEMAN 3)SHAWN KEMP 4)GRANT HILL 5)PENNY HARDAWAY 6)LEN BIAS 7)REGGIE LEWIS 8)STEVE FRANCIS 9)CHRIS WEBBER
• THE HI FIVE
• 1)LA LAKERS 40-9 THE BEST ROAD TEAM IN THE NBA
• 2)BOSTON CELTICS 41-10 STILL THE BEST DEFENSIVE TEAM
• 3) CLEVELAND CAVILIERS 39-9 UNDEFEATED AT HOME
• 4) ORLANDO MAGIC 37-11 LOSING NELSON IS GOING TO HURT
• 5) SAN ANTONIO SPURS 33-15 DOING WHAT THEY DO
• I heard that the Kings were going to retire Vlade Divac's number. What the fuck did he ever make an All Star Team? That's like the Bulls retiring Stacey King's jersey or the Celtics retiring James Posey jersey. No comment.
• Buffoon of the Week:
• Pookie Phelps I mean Michael Phelps. Not for just smoking that Ganja, but for using a bong aka the GLASS DICK to get your high on. I'm not a Ganja expert, but you look real bad with that glass dick up to your mouth with your lips around it. You get paid a lot of money to be the All American Boy and you go and act like Bushwick Bill. Were you trying to earn your street credibility or were you feening for the glass dick. Even a pure christian white boy like yourself can't smoke that ganja and sell my kids some Rice Crispies. What the fuck were you thinking doing that shit out in public? Did you have a Nickelodian award in one hand and the bong in the other. I hope you loose all of your endorsement money and then you can really live the American Dream by being a feen and being broke Bitch. Now swim your way out of this shit!
• I'm out like Gary Williams coaching ability.