Tuesday, September 14, 2010

THE NFL LowDown WEEK 1 2010

I am going to start off this weeks edition of The LowDown by saying Rex Ryan is a Defensive Coordinator masquerading as a head coach. Why do I say this you ask? Because when you are a head coach you don't go around trash talking and challenging players, you save your energy for preparing your players to do battle every week. Rex when you talking about winning a SuperBowl you are only concerning yourself with your number #1 ranked D. You are totally forgetting about that totally anemic offense led by Kyle Bowler I mean Mark Sanchez that makes the Maryland Terps look like the greatest show on turf. Your job as head coach is to oversee offense,defense and special teams. It was cute when you put Bellicheck on notice last year, because you were the underdog and everyone was pulling for you. But now you say your team is the best and unfortunately Mark Sanchez and the rest of your team now has to go out and play every week like the Pats did three years ago. Let your players play and your coaches coach and quit calling out guys like Ray Lewis, because sooner or later your players are going to get tired of getting fucked up, call your ass out and you will be out of New York faster than Raz B's solo career.
  • THINGS THAT I LEARNED IN WEEK 1:
  • I have bet against Brady and Bellicheck for the last mutherfucking time. Everytime I believe they are done they prove why they are winners. Sorry guys I am an idiot.
  • Chris Johnson maybe the best back in football. It seems like he breaks at least one long run a game and I can't remember the last time he was shut down.
  • Ray Lewis is the best defensive player I have ever seen in my life and I don't have to justify that shit.
  • Having Bobby Bowden coach wasn't all that bad if it means my Seminoles don't have to loose by 30 plus on National TV.
  • UNNECESSARY ROUGHNESS:
  • Tony Romo is never going to be the leader that Peyton or Brady are, so I have given up on that dream. He seems ok with mutherfuckers jumping offside and the lack of discipline that has plagued this team for years. He said that the deadskins showed him blitzes that he had never seen before. You believe that shit. That ranks up there with Shaq saying before he had won a ring that he had won on every level except for college and the pros. I can't believe that he would admitt to the public that he was unprepared and that things will get better all while wearing that shit eating grin on his face.That awe shucks go get em next time shit don't fly in the pros.The NFL stands for not for long especially when your coaching staff is made up of Buffoons. What does that say about the leadership on this team when he makes statements like that. My bad he plays for Wade Phillips. A guy who gets approval from his owner for his game plan each week . The only way Tony Romo and any team that he leads is ever going to the Super Bowl is if they pay for tickets to get into that shit. 7 points against the 85 Bears or 00 Ravens is acceptable, but not against that feared Deangelo Hall led Deadskins squad.
  • STOCK UP STOCK DOWN:
  • ^ MILES AUSTIN 10 REC 146 YDS 1 TD
  • ^ARIAN FOSTER 33 ATT 231 YDS 3 TDS
  • ^CHRIS JOHNSON 27 ATT 142 YDS 2 TDS
  • ^ CLAY MATTHEWS 2 SACKS 1 FF, 7 SOLO TACKLES
  • ^ PATRICK CHUNG 16 SOLO TACKLES
  • ^ PEYTON MANNING 40-57 433 YDS 3 TDS
  • ^ RAY LEWIS ASK REX RYAN
  •  mark sanchez 10-21 74 yds
  •  kevin kolb 5-10 24 yds
  • matt moore 14-33 182 yds 3 ints
  • braylon edwards 1 rec 9 yds
  • shonn greene 5 att 18 yds 1 fumble
  • HIGH FIVE:
  • 1) SAINTS 1-0 "THE BEST UNTIL SOMEONE KNOCKS THEN OFF.
  • 2) RAVENS 1-0 "OFFENSE AND D DAMN.
  • 3) PATS 1-0 "IN BRADY I TRUST.
  • 4)STEELERS 1-0 "WAIT UNTIL THEY GET BACK BIG BEN.
  • 5) PACKERS 1-0 "THE JURY IS STILL OUT.
  • BUFFOON OF THE WEEK:
  • Would you replace the  most penalized tackle in the world with the second most penalized tackle in the world. I know your saying at least that's an upgrade. Yeah fucking right, if you live in Cowboy world that type of dumbass thinking is acceptable. Jerry Jones how many times must you make my list. You live in a world where you believe replacing Jimmy Johnson with Barry Switzer and setting up Roy Willaims great great grandchildren for life makes you a genius. Wrong. Where I come from it makes you BUFFOON OF THE WEEK! Signing that bum to play tackle is worst than Tashard Choice shucking and jiving and shaking and baking before fumbling the ball to Deangelo Hall leading to the Deadskins only TD. Before you make another executive decision regarding personnel ask Wade Phillips, Tony Romo, and Jason Garrett for their advice and then do the opposite. At least you didn't bring your dumbass down on the field this time.
  • I'm out like Frank Beamer and Virginia Tech's title hopes.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Good read as usual. Jerry Jones is a buffoon and I hate the deadskins too.

Anonymous said...

Fuck you. You Dallas Cowgirl lover.