NBA LOWDOWN JUN 15,2011

LeBron James is the perfect example of looks like Tarzan but plays like Jane. Listed at 6'8'', 250lbs he is a match up nightmare for any player on the court. Even though he is often compared to Magic Johnson (the Michael Jordan comparisons have been put to bed Scottie), his game to me seems to be more like Grant Hill. I apologize Magic for putting you in this, but then again you deserve it for dick riding James in the finals and offering his ass advice.  Grant was 20pts 10reb 7ast for the Pistons in 1995-1996 just his second year in the league and until he got hurt his first year with the Magic he routinely flirted with triple double numbers. His last year in Detroit he was 26pts 7reb 5ast. Like LeBron Grant could do it all, but he failed to live up to the Jordan comparisons, because his game and demeanor were nothing like Jordan's. Grant managed 7 all star trips, 1 all NBA 1st team and 4 all NBA 2nd team births despite injuries that robbed him of 5 years of playing at his physical peak. LeBron much like Grant is a jack of all trades and a master of none.To me his defensive skills consists of guarding smaller guards who have no jumpers and running people down on the break. In this years finals Lebron averaged 17pts 7reb 7ast . Those numbers are fantastic if your last name is Odom or Pippen, but when you have THE CHOSEN ONE tattooed on your back more is expected. I guess what I am saying is maybe this is who Lebron is. A talented player who prefers to let others shine while he pretends to lead them to victory while casting doubt on those same players in defeat by taking a backseat and saying he is a team player.Instead of a triple double Dwade and your teamates needed you to drop 30 and guard the German Moses Dirk. Hey LeBron I bare witness and what I testify too is that your game is less Michael Jordan and more Ben Gordan. Now onto the LowDown.

• Memo to David Stern: If you allow teams to franchise their best players you might have less movement of superstars and better competitive balance throughout the league. I'm not saying take away free agency rights. I'm saying that if only Toronto were allowed to max out Bosh and anyone else attempting to sign him could only offer less,we would really see how bad he wanted to go to see South Beach. Imagine the Heat offering 80 million and the Raptors offering 120 million. Now you get the picture.
• One more thing players do like being on TV, so more exposure might compel them to stay in smaller markets. In the NFL the Packers, Ravens and Steelers get as much face time as the Cowboys, Jets and Pats. Just a thought.
• It is funny how the Internet and social media such as Twitter and Facebook has changed how we view players. In his day Barkley was a handful, but much like Shaq he refused to take care care of himself and I believe it costs him in the championship dept. If he was playing now and was was forced to be under the microscope 24/7 who knows what he would have done or said out of his mouth. Can you imagine all the kiss my ass and fuck you comments guys like Skip Bayless and Stephen A. Smith would have received after questioning his dedication or work habits. Remember this is the same guy who spit on a girl sitting in the crowd at a game and who threw someone through a window in a bar. Damn I could only imagine.
• When did Jordan become the only standard by which we judge individual greatness? Ever heard of Bill Russel or Kareem Abdul Jabarr? In the 80's the standard were CHAMPIONSHIPS. In the 90's it became MVP'S,STATS,CHAMPIONSHIPS,GAME WINNING SHOTS, AND PLAYING BOTH ENDS OF THE COURT WHILE SELLING THE MOST SHOES AND LOOKING THE BEST ON AND OFF THE COURT. Now it is all of the above, plus you can't lose in the finals, because Jordan never did. Remember Jordan never failed in the NBA according to A PIMP NAMED STERN so anything less is unacepptable.
• I would love to see how Michael Jordan would fair today with guys who are his height and taller that posess the same physical tools he does. In Jordan's day if you were 6'9'' and bigger your ass was in the paint not at the top of the key. 7 footers like Garnett and the German Moses Dirk who have all around floor games would have been playing center and banging with Moses Malone not shooting threes and causing matchup nightmares.Today you have small forwards and shooting guards who are 6'9'' and 6'10'' and they are changing how the game is played on both ends. Outside of Drexler and later Penny and Kobe, Jordan mostly competed against Starks, Miller, Dumars, Scott, Ainge, Hornacek, Ehlo, Mahrle,Hersey Hawkins, Byron Russell, Blackman, and Calbert Chaney to name a few. To me he was never physically challenged by someone at his positon until his latter years in the league. I'm not taking anything away from Jordan, but shooting over Ehlo is a helluva lot different than shooting over Battier or Shawn Marion. Can't a brother dream?
• What ever happened to Michael Redd?
• Dirk used to be soft, but now that he has a ring so we  have to call him a finesse player which still means soft in the U.S.. Imagine Dirk banging down low with Oakley, Mason, Buck Williams,Truck Robinson, Grand MaMa, and Otis Thorpe. Yeah OK.. Sorry Dirk
• One last thing over the course of the season and playoffs I really developed a dislike for Chris Bosh. I hated everything from his fake ass growl to his bitch ass high fives, but what really set me off was his damn damn damn damn falling to his knees, I can't go no further, take me instead routine at the finals in game 6. He look like he was at a funeral and he just loss his wife or significant other in his case and that he couldn't go on without them. Mother$#@!$ please you never played in anything more significant in your life, so f*&@ are you crying for. Save that sh%# for Jordan, Kobe and Dirk. Even if you never win a damn thing you should be laughing all the way to the bank you tootie frutie, don't squeeze the Charmin bitch@## trick.
• On that note I'm out like James and his championship hopes. In honor of Lebron James day in Cleveland they let schools out 12 minutes early and don't bother asking him for change for a dollar because he only has 3 quarters.

RANDOM THOUGHTS ON NBA PLAYOFFS

1. Kendrick Perkins is one of the most overrated and overvalued players in the history of the game. His career playoff and regular season averages are 6 pts and 6 reb a game. The Celtics, The Thunder and countless buffoons around the league tell me that Perkins is the best low post defender in the game. Then what the hell is Dwight Howard? If by the best low post defender you mean mugging mutherfuckers and intimidating European players then next to Kenyon Martin he is the best. All of you sum bitches owe guys like Mutombo, Mourning and Ben Wallace an apology for ever putting Perkins and best defender in the same sentence.
2. Establish the criteria for the MVP AWARD please. What good is giving a guy the MVP award when clearly  he is not the best player in the league let alone his conference.Derrick Rose had a good season, but would you take him over Howard, James,Wade,Durant,Paul, or even Dirk. Hell no!!!! Here is a thought wait until after the season to give the award out and then there will be no argument as to who truly earned the award. If you gave it to Dirk, Wade or James no one would argue about it. Just a thought.
3. Change the current playoff format and reward the higher seeds with more home games and you will  have  more competitive games in the regular season. The reward for the Spurs finishing as #1 seed and Memphis finishing as the #8 seed was one more home game for the Spurs.. Remember Memphis threw games at the end to get the matchup with the Spurs. Would they have done this if it meant only having 2 home games in a 7 game series. Just a thought
4. Pippen criticized Boozer for his play in the clutch in the playoffs as if he didn't sit his ass down and refuse to enter  game 3 of the 1994 semi final playoffs against the Knicks with his team down 0-2. Don't act  like Jordan didn't bail your ass out over and over again with his clutch play. It is really easy to criticize others when you have an overflated sense of self value. My bad why am I criticizing you. You did give us one of the most intelligent observations of all time  when you said James is better than Michael. I'm just saying
5. Can the Lakers please get a PG and stop having the tag team of PICK and ROLL burn your asses year after rear?
6. Dwight stop fooling yourself into thinking that by staying in Orlando that you are somehow distancing yourself from Shaq and that you will somehow deliver a Championship to the city of Orlando single handidly. Unless your supporting casts changes dramatically you are not even the best team in your own state.  You really are dillusional I mean Superman if you think you can beat the Heat with that shit you call a team.Get out while you can. Can you say L.A.
7. Memo to the NBA can you please hold the drawing for the Lottery in front of us or reward the worst team with the #1 pick.  The Timberwolves were not throwing games last year. They are that damn bad. Having the Cavs get the number #1 pick is straight out of a comic book. In the famous words of Spike Lee DO THE RIGHT THING.
8. Have you ever seen a man more at peace with their retirement than Shaq? There were no tears, no regrets or no apologies. Say what you want, but the Daddy did things his way, was a natural trailblazer, and he charmed and manipulated the media like no other. Reitrements are often seen like funerals with tears flowing and sadness filling the room, but Shaq's retirement was all about a celebration of his NBA career and an anticipation of his next career venture. Long live THE DADDY!!!!! 
9. Shaq often feuded with Howard and said he was offended whenever they were compared. At his retirement he took one more shot at Howard and said that he was retiring the SUPERMAN nickname. The problems with today's players are they are so used to be handed shit that they don't even know when they are being called out or how to defend themselves. Shaq for what ever reason never liked David Robinson or Patrick Ewing two of the best centers during his era and he played with ruthless aggression whenever their paths crossed. Shaq never openly disrespected those guys , but he knew he had to show them on a nightly basis who the Daddy was.What did Dwight ever do to Shaq to earn  his respect or the nickname Superman.?
10. Stop comparing Dirk to Bird. I am going to say this one time and one time only. There will never ever be another Larry Bird. Just because Dirk is white and can shoot the hell out of the ball does not make him Larry's equal. Go back and pop in tape of Larry talking shit and destroying guys like Dr.J in the 80's and then look at Dirk having his ass handed to him by guys like James Posey and you will see why those comparisons are not only short sighted but downright buffoonish.
11. I'm out like Chris Bosh's manhood.