OUT OF BOUNDS WEEK 14

• On John Thompson's radio show this afternoon Clinton Portis went off on his head coach Jim Zorn for benching him against the Ravens Sunday night. Because of nagging injuries Portis was unable to practice all week and Zorn went with Ledell Betts because he said he was more prepared to play.
• During his chat with John Thompson he sarcastically called Zorn "a genius",suggested that the team "sever ties with him"and pretty much characterized Zorn's offensive game plan as unadulterated chaos .
• Here is some of what he had to say:
• I go out there and give it everything I got. If I can run through the I practice, if I can't then I ain't. And I'm not gonna force myself to go on the field and do something crazy,and then all of a sudden I'm out.What I need to be around for is Sundays and that what I'm trying to be around for.So I mean if you have a problem with me not practicing and can't do it that way,maybe you feel like you need to sever ties,split ties with me? Split ties with me.But don't sit here and throw me out like I don't pay attention, like I don't know what's going on,like I'm making mistakes, I'm the problem. You know, so it is, what it is.
• Here is my take. Zorn like most of these new jack coaches need s someone to blame and take the heat off when their schemes don't work. You benched your MVP, because the Ravens were shutting your bitch asses down. It had nothing to do with that whack ass system of yours or the fact you were playing against one of the best defenses known to mankind. The benching of Portis takes the heat off you. You probably got your tatics from that Judas Andy Reid. Practice were talking about practice. Not the real game practice. I don't like Portis, but he is talented. Ship him out like Boston did Manny so that your team can suck even more. Zorn you are the genius. You know regardless of who you are playing. If you draw it up they should execute it. When all else fails change the motherfucking players, because the head coach don't make mistakes. Once again fans and the media are going to concentrate on what Portis said about his benching instead of the ass whupping the Ravens put on the Deadskins.
• I'm out like Joe Gibbs.

NFL LOW DOWN WEEK 14

• "FUCK YOU, FUCK THEM, AND FUCK EVERYBODY THAT GOT A PROBLEM WITH MIKE LOWERY". I meant Tony Romo, but you get the message. I was having a Bad Boys flash back. Another December another late sesaon loss for the Cowboys in a game that meant everything to them. Two years ago we loose to the Seahawks in the opening round of the playoffs. Last year we loose to the Giants in the opening round of the playoffs. Then on Sunday with the season on the line we loose to the Steelers. You know what those games all have in common. They all ended with Romo fucking up.(mishandling a fieldgoal snap,and two interceptions is how those games ended) I'm getting sick and tired of this shit. Romo with the game on the line is about as clutch as A-ROD's playoff performances with the Yankees. 13 to motherfucking 3 going into the 4th quarter and you loose. The defense played great(that goaline stance was awesome) and handled their business all day. I will point no fingers at them, but Romo and those high priced bastards on offense did nothing all day. Romo look like Brad Johnson on Sunday. On that last interception Jason Whitten said it was his fault, because he slipped and ran the wrong route. Two things Jason, Great teamates take the blame for mistakes. Great players don't make those mistakes. The second thing is unless Whitten increased his vertical by 40 inches or all of a sudden grew 8 inches he was not catching that ball. The funny thing is all of Romo's picks look the same. He hit all of the Steelers defensive backs right between the numbers and right on stride. He was more accurate on passes to them than he was to his own teamates. Fuck you and the horse you rode in on Tony. I don't want your apology Romo, start winning Bitch. It is up to you to show America that Jessica Simpson is not a distraction and that Jerry Jones was correct in paying you all that money. The difference between Big Ben and you is that Super Bowl ring he has and the trust that he won't fuck up in crunch time. Your stats were the same except for your turnovers. He got sacked five times and harrased all day and he still found a way to not turn the ball over. Big Ben clutch. Romo a tease.Trusting Tony Romo to come through in the 4th quarter is like Gilligan, the Skipper, and Marry Ann expecting to get off that goddamn god forsaken island.Know matter who visited or ended up on that island you knew that for some reason they weren't going anywhere. Romo with the game on the line is like R.Kelly around 16 year olds, it's like Michael Jackson hosting a sleepover or Bobby Brown getting back with New Edition,the intentions are good, but you know it can only end up badly. One more thing I told you nothing positive can come from having that Bitch Ass PACMAN JONES on your team. Call it Karma call it what you want, but having a world class buffoon on your team can't be good.
• The Ravens fucked up the Deadskins with a ferocious D and timely offensive play. The more physical team one. The Ravens Defense set the tone early and the Offense finished them off. Rogers should have did a McAllister and held Mason so he would not have scored after being burned so badly. I have to disagree with Bradd Piff about comparing Ed Reed to PrimeTime.(Deon Sanders) I think Ed Reed is the first Ed Reed not a Deon clone. But if you want to compare players I think Ed Reed is more like Rod Woodson. Both were ball hogs, who occassionly get burned. Plus both of those guys were more physical than PrimeTime ever was. Deon took away a whole side of the field and he went games without seeing any action. I don't think we will ever see a corner with that type of impact on a game.
• I think not having Plaxico is going to hurt the Giants. The Eagles played physical coverage on the wideouts and stacked the box. Plaxico commands a double and frees up running lanes for their running game. It will be real interesting to see how they are going to do in the next couple of games without him. Sources tell me Brandon Jacobs may also be out of next weeks game against the Cowboys. Take it from me injuries and distractions can fuck a team up. If any team can deal with losses the Giants are one of them. Time to step it up Eli.
• The Eagles played well, Bitch Ass Andy Reid actually called running plays and Donovan played smart. When these things happen the Eagles are tough to beat. I still don't trust that bitch ass Andy Reid. Wait until the Eagles loose again he will abandon Donovan quicker than Starscream did Megatron.
• The Miami Dolphins are a perfect example of the any given sunday syndrome. Experts pick them to finish last and laughed when the Tuna chose ex Cowboy offensive line coach Tony Sparano not Soprano mutherfuckers as his head coach. Tuna called Jason Taylor a bitch for being on Dancing With the Stars and not practicing with his team. Then shipped his ass to the Deadskins for a sub and a bag of chips. Remember the Dolphins were last years version of the Lions bad and unwatchable. The Dolphins are 8-5 and tied for first with the Jets and the Pats and threatening to not only make the playoffs , but host a playoff game. I talked to former Cowboy TE Anthony Fasano this morning and he told me that it starts with practice and attention to detail. Fasano emphasized the four minute offense and not giving the ball back to the defense. The coaches preach for every player to win the little battle that will win games. The Dolphins are not the most talented team , but they play together and believe in their system. Fasano also told me that Chad Peninngton who they picked up from the unemployment line has been the ultimate leader and the model of effiency. We voted him team captain after he was here for a few weeks and that is all you need to know. Tyler Perry couldn't have written better shit than this worst to first shit.
• The Panthers exposed the Bucs and man handled them Monday night. They ran for over 300 yards and somewhere you know Jerome Bettis,Earl Campbell, and John Riggins are smiling. That's old fashion John Madden smash mouth 3 yards and a cloud of dust football. With that D , a running game, and Steve Smith only Jake Delhome can fuck this up. After the Game a bitch ass Jeff Garcia told me as long as Jake doen't turn the ball over and they play like this they can beat anyone. The Panthers look like they are poised for a long playoff run.
• Omarr Epps and the Steelers did it again. I will give credit where credit is due, but I didn't appreciate the chest bump Big Ben and Omarr Epps gave each other after that interception. You bitches will get payback one day.
• Memo to the Detroit Lions lay down and loose out. I want to see you guys go 0-16. If at first you don't suceed just stop trying. It is better to have never tried than to have ever tried at all. Everyone loves a looser. Last but not least don't go out there and give it all you got. Post that shit on your locker and use it as inspiration.
• In two weeks the Jets went from contenders to pretenders. I tried to annoint them as the Chosen One. In the famous words of Mario Van Peebles I gambled on a crack head and loss.(New Jack City)
• I hope Wade Phillips has a resume on CareerBuilder.com, because when the season is over he will be unemployed.
• Can someone do some DNA testing on Matt Ryan and Joe Flacco. They are not rookies. Rookies are supposed to fuck up and cost their teams games not lead them to victory. If the voting for rookie of the year ended today they would finish one two.
• Don't look now, but the Pats just wont go away. They loose players and always manage to find replacements. Teddy Bruschi is out for the year and long time Patriot Junior Seau is back. Wasn't this mutherfucker a Charger for the better part of his carrer. When Shawne Merriman got hurt he didn't return to the Chargers. Does Bellicheck have pictures of Junior walking in the gay pride parade or something. That was probabaly him dancing with Joey Porter and Plaxico Burress Shirtless in the club. Whatever the reason just like Season 25 of the Simpsons Junior is back.
• Oh Shit the Cardinals won their division. A Black President, The Ravens have an offense, Britney is back, OJ is in jail. What's next I know The Orioles win the pennant. Can't a brother dream.
• My sources within the Chargers camp told me that the players secretly miss Marty Shottenheimer and that this is no knock on Norv Turner. Ok mutherfucker. Try Telling your wife that your ex girlfriend knew how how to fuck a lot better and that her dick sucking skills were exquisiute, but this is no knock on you and see what her response is. After you wake up from the frying pan beating that your ass is going to receive your going to wish you could take that comment back. Moral of the story that is a knock on Norv Turner.
• THE HIGH FIVE
• 1)TENNESSEE TITANS 12-1 Two blowouts in the past two games. that's enough to make you number 1
• 2)PITTSBURGH STEELERS 10-3 It is better to be lucky than good
• 3) NY GIANTS 11-2 If any team can bounce back from a loss they will
• 4)CAROLINA PANTHERS 10-3 They have incentive to run the table for a possible #1 seed
• 5)INDY COLTS 9-4 I see them 11-4 after the next two weeks
• GAME BALLS-Matt Schaub,Michael Westbrook,Shaun Hill,DeAngelo Williams, and Antronio Byrant
• MVP:KURT WARNER
• You have waited long enough BUFFOON OF THE WEEK: Jerry Jones Cowboys owner
• You never learn. You have to keep running your mutherfucking mouth. You ran off three legendary coaches and now your talking about a player and his questioning his toughness. You were quoted as saying Marion Barber should have played Sunday despite a dislocated toe and a calf injury. To call Marion the Barbarian soft is like saying Pamela Anderson's breasts are ok , but I prefer more natural breasts like cousin Pam from the Cosby show. You know that shit makes no sense. Instead of critcising Tony Romo and that overpaid offense for it's lack of productivity. He picks on the toughest guy on the team. Asks anyone around the league about who they think is a true warrior and I guarantee you they will say Marion Barber.Even though he has no idea how to draft players this doesn't stop him from doing it. If my wife's appenix is giving her problems. I'm not going to scrub my hands put a mask on and start operating like I'm Doogie Howser. I will leave that to the exprerts. Jerry Jones probably helps out with the gameplan every week which would account for our demise. Do you know the owner of the Giants, how bout the Steelers, the Titans. No you don't because they let football people make football decisions that effect football games. I know you know Al Davis, George Steinberner and Peter Angelos. THREE OF THE BIGGEST BUFFOONS WALIKNG THE PLANET. Jerry Jones would rather loose his way than win somebody elses way. ASS BACKWARDS. He is the man that hangs on to PACMAN JONES after he gets in a fight with the Top flight Security Guards named Craig and DAY DAY that he hired to keep him out of trouble. With his team on a 3 game winning streak and the defense playing better than ever you bring back a Buffoon that could cause a distraction and add nothing to the team. Because of this move you too are a Buffoon Jerry Jones. There are a lot of guys up for parole that can't wait to become Cowboys, because word in the joint is we are looking for some untapped talent.

NFL LOW DOWN WEEK 13

• I am going to start off this week by talking about a hot topic that has everybody up in arms. Why are we subjected to watching the Detroit Lions and there whack ass brand of ball every Thanksgiving? My take is it is tradition for the Lions to host this game and their fans deserve this treat. You may not know this, but back in the early 60's because of poor attendance the Lions owner had to come up with a way to get people to come to the games. He figured I could always spend more money and improve the product on the field. I could actually hold my GM and Head Coach accountable for getting positive results and then maybe the fans will come out. I could actually improve my front office personnel and my scouting dept. Wait what the fuck am I thinking that would actually require us to spend more money, make intelligent decisions and actually care about winning. Naw I will leave that to the Cowboys, Packers, Steelers, and the rest of the NFL that actually care about that shit. I know, how about we play on a day when know one else is playing and that way I can keep my millions and I don't have to worry about winning and that type of shit. We will play on Thanksgiving and charge double the amount, because these motherfuckers can't do nothing else , but eat all day anyway. That's how a Pimp thinks. For that reason alone let Detroit keep their Thanksgiving Day game. It could be worse. We could be subjected to watching Deadskins games.


• Sign of the Apocalypse and Why I no longer gamble? If I told you at the beginning of the season that the Boys and the Pats would not be in the playoffs, but the Ravens, the Cardinals, the Falcons, the Titans, and the Bucs would you would have called me a buffoon. If the season ended today that would be the case.


• Every time I want to anoint the Jets as THE CHOSEN ONE they do some crackhead shit like getting blown out at home by the Broncos. Go figure.


• And while I'm on the Broncos. Is it just me or do the Broncos and the Saints have the same identical problems? Both teams can score on anybody, but neither play any D. They are both capable of scoring 50 one week and 10 the next. Just an observation. This is not the Arena league get some D.


• I see Bitch ass Andy Reid started McNabb this week and the Eagles blew out the Cardinals. I guess you expect us to believe your benching of McNabb was part of your master plan to motivate your team and gice the Cardinals a false sense of security. Yeah right your still a Bitch and I hope McNabb goes somewhere else and you spend the next eight years searching for a QB like the Ravens have.


• Speaking of the Ravens they lead the league in margin of victory. They manufacture points the same way certain restaurants continue to serve food long after they have run out of real meat. They are just creative with that shit. I'm impressed. I figured we would see a BLACK PRESIDENT OF THE US before we would see the Ravens with a decent offense. Also there was a Todd Heap and Mark Clayton sighting on Sunday. Nice to know these guys can do more than just block and be decoys on offense. As long as the Ravens keep winning he can't say anything, but you know" WHAT YOU TALKING ABOUT WILLIS "MCGAHEE is mad as shit about not playing against the Bengals. That's like being on the Harlem Globetrotters and getting no time on the court while they are playing the Washington Generals. Keep your eye on that situation. One more thing you are only as good as your starting QB. Just remember Kyle Bowler when you are anointing Harbaugh as the next great coach you Billick haters.


• I'm not even going to comment on that ass whipping my Boys gave the Seahawks, but can you see the difference of having Romo and Newman there. Imagine if Roy and Felix Jones was there. Some teams like the Steelers rely on their whole team. Others like the Boys depend on their Star players. Two different philosophies same result.


• As much as I dislike the Giants I hate the Deadskins even more. The Deaskins are to pathetic to even comment on. Pause for a second you hear that sound. That was your playoff hopes leaving out the backdoor. Fuck the deadskins and your fans.


• Ravens do my bidding for me and whup that ass. When was the last time the Deadskins came to Bmore to play a game? I know the league can't stand the Ravens, but damn I can't remember ever seeing the Deadskins play here. Beat the Deadskins and put the dirt over their coffin.


• Cowboys and the Steelers. I expect an air display put on and for Romo and Whitten to have a big day. The Steelers are a great team , but the Boys need that game more.


• Hey GreenBay miss Brett Favre yet?


• The Colts are like Jason from Friday the 13th. Do these motherfuckers ever go away? No offensive touchdowns and they still win. What kind of Ravens shit is that? Is Dungy getting advice from Brian Billick on how to manufacture victories.


• Think about this scenerio. Marvin Lewis gets fired. Romeo Crennell gets fired. Brian Billick gets the Browns coaching job and hires Marvin as his defensive coordinator. Ravens fans would not want to see that shit happen would you. My sources tell me Brian is interested in the Lions job. Before you laugh he would be getting total control of the team. Coaching and shopping for the players. That's some Bill Parcells type shit right there.


• What the fuck happened to the Bills? I guess that's why you play the game.


• I need some help with this one. What the fuck do the Bucs do to win games? Who are their play makers and can I get some of that I do believe that I can achieve crack that they must be smoking.


• I know you have been waiting for it. Buffoon of the week: Too easy Plaxico Burress. You and I both know nothing positive happens at 2 in the morning in a club. First of all have you ever heard of a gun holster. You know that shit you actually carry a gun in. You were carrying that shit in your sweatpants like a stick up kid. Whenever you get the urge to take your shirt off and shake your ass on the dance floor with Joey Porter again go hire yourself personal security if you feel threatened by the other male dancers who are in attendance. Hey Jackass do know you could have shot your dick off. Try explaining that shit to a woman when your ready to do the damn thing. The mayor of New York wants to press full charges and send your ass to jail. I say that's not good enough. They should make you become a season ticket holder and make you watch Detroit Lion football, Baltimore Orioles baseball, and Oklahoma City Thunder basketball. That type of shit will scare anyone straight. If I did the same exact thing right now I would be braiding some dudes hair in prison while contemplating how I'm going to master the art of sleeping with my eyes open. You are a fortunate bastard. The Giants should cut your ass and you should be forced to endure a lifetime of catching passes from Kyle Bowler and Brad Johnson. Money, women, fame , fortune that can't touch having the respect of your homeys huh. Homeys over hoes right. Why would you carry an unlicensed gun in New York of all places where there is a no tolerance policy and you could convicted to up to 15 years if found guilty? That's like a white man walking down North and Long or Poplar Grove wearing a t-shirt that says I HATE NIGGERS. Nothing good can come from it. I just got a call from Sprewell and he says he wouldn't have even been that stupid. He said he could actually feed his family with the money your making. Plaxico welcome to the BUFFOON HALL OF FAME. In a side note does anyone other than my boy Wade remember Playmakers on ESPN. They took it off because that shit was too real for their asses. Shooting yourself at 2 in the morning with an unlicensed gun and the club and the hospital covering it up for you. They wouldn't even tell the police what happened sighting some privacy rule. That's some Playmaker shit for your ass.
• THE HIGH FIVE
• 1)NY GIANTS - THE BEST TEAM IN THE NFL HANDS DOWN
• 2)TENNESSEE TITANS - BEATING THE LIONS ACTUALLY RAISED THEIR STOCK
• 3)PITTSBURGH STEELERS - DOING THE MOST WITH THE LEAST
• 4)INDY COLTS - SOMETIMES IT'S BETTER TO BE LUCKY THAN GOOD
• 5) TAMPA BAY BUCS - YOU DON'T DESERVE THIS RANKING
• The BOYS AND THE RAVENS ACTUALLY DESERVE TO BE THERE. THE BOYS BEAT THE BUCS WITHOUT ROMO AND THE RAVENS CAN BEAT ANYONE EXCEPT FOR THE COLTS. THE PANTHERS ARE PROBABLY BETTER THAN THE BUCS.
• FROM MY MAN BUBBY: VICK WILL BE HOME BEFORE PLAXICO. I still can't believe he is doing time for dog fighting.
• MVP: TOM COUGHLIN FOR WINNING GAMES WHEN NO ONE GAVE YOUR TEAM A CHANCE
• GAME BALL: JASON WHITTEN,DEMARCUS WARE,DONAVAN MCNABB,MARK CLAYTON,JAY CUTLER,TONY ROMO,ADRIAN PETERSON AND CHRIS JOHNSON
• I'M OUT LIKE VICK MACKIE AND THE SHIELD

Things That Make You Say HMMMMMM....

• Now that a black man is President of the U.S. who the fuck do we refer to as the MAN and the leader of the coalition to keep the brother man down? AND ON A SIDE NOTE WHAT ARE JESSIE JACKSON AND AL SHARPTON GONNA BITCH ABOUT NOW.hmmmmmm
• Why is that no matter how much fucking money you got in the bank? You still get nervous as shit every time you use your ATM card. You stand there whistling Dixie and shit praying that shit goes through so you don't have to take that long ass walk of shame back to your car and tell the cashier hold that shit for me I will be right back. hmmmmmm
• I recently heard that Screech from Saved By The Bell is fucking stray bitches and selling tapes of that shit. What's next Bud from the Cosby Show on the corner selling that shit? Whitley from a Different World turning tricks and sucking dicks. hmmmmm
• What kind of PACMAN JONES shit we got going here in Baltimore? I heard two teachers got there ass whupped today by their students because one of them had been disciplined earlier. So whip the ass of somebody that's here to help you. What kind of world do we live in? FUCK YOU PACMAN! hmmmmmmm
• Have you seen D.L. Hughley's show on CNN. That shit is terrible. That's why the man(Obama is not in office yet) won't put us on network TV. Flava Flav's sitcom, the Magic Show, Keenan Wayan's Talk show, Wayne Brady Show and Homeboy's From Outer Space are examples of shitty ass television shows, but they should not be held against us in our efforts to be on TV. Oprah you helped Dr. Phil's white ass help a brother out. hmmmmm
• Is just me or does Kanye Titter sound like a broke ass Storm trooper on his new CD. Motherfucker sounds like a Cyclone from Battlestar Galatica and you thought Keith Sweat was whining. Shut the fuck up and give me my hip hop Bitch if I want singing I just get The Jonas Bros or The Naked Boys Band. hmmmmm
• Is putting Baltimore on the front of the jersey enough to get me back down Camden yards. Hell no! It just let's the average person know where that sorry ass team resides at. The Orioles brain trust thinks this type of shit hides the stench of loosing and that I will now gladly give them my money. Motherfucker please. hmmmm
• What the fuck are they putting in that gas. Maybe it's just me but I'm still paying the five for gas. Instead of paying 60 dollars once I'm paying 30 dollars twice just as often. What kind of crackhead shit is this. I heard someone say they are enjoying the gas prices, so go out and get it. Fuck am I suppose to do buy it and store that shit in my freezer. This is some bullshit. hmmmmmmm
• Robert Kelly recently said he has 16 and 17 year old friends, but he's not fucking them. I will give him the benefit of the doubt. I was recently up Walbrook Junction about 2 in the morning and I brought some crack just to be neighborly not to smoke that shit. Nigger please. hmmmmm
• I read where Michael Vick blew through 17 million dollars in two years. Fuck was he buying space shuttles,countries, better yet did he buy people. 17 million in two years he should have had the shit smacked out of him and then locked his dumb ass up for failure to have common sense. He also didn't pay taxes. What the fuck is up with black people and taxes? IRS AIN'T NOTHING TO FUCK WITH ASK WESLEY SNIPES AND TEDDY RILEY TWO NEW JACK SWINGING MOTHERFUCKERS THAT WISHED THEY HAD PAID FIVE. HMMMMM
• I'M OUT LIKE LEBRON JAMES IN CLEVELAND.

NFL LOW DOWN WEEK 12

• I am starting off this week with some shit I have to get off my chest about that Bitch named Andy Reid. You told me ,the city of Philadelphia(which is a fucking cess pool of degenerates who have about as much class as a prostitute selling ass on North and Long ) and anyone else listening that Donavan McNabb was your man no questions asked. Then why did you pull that bullshit that you did Sunday. With your team trailing 10-7 at halftime you benched McNabb and put all of the blame for your team's poor play on him. In all of my years of watching football I have never witnessed some shit like that. That's the motherfucking Raven's defense not the Chiefs Bitch. I saw Romo throw 5 picks last year on Monday Night Football against the Bills and not get yanked. I saw Peyton throw 6 picks against the Chargers last year and his coach said nothing to him. Yet Andy Reid saw fit to not only embarrass Donvan McNabb by taking him out of the game, but put all of the blame for the Eagles poor play on him. What do you think everyone is talking about today? The lack of offensive talent on the Eagles or Donovan being the problem. I know what your doing Andy and it's fucked up. Your trying to save your job and shift blame from that whack ass front office of yours. Instead of getting Donovan some play makers you go out and sign Asante Samuels a motherfucking corner in the off season. You need corners on your team like we need four more years of Bush in office. Donvan over the years has had the pleasure of throwing to All Pro receivers like Todd Stinkston, James Trash, and future Hall of Famer Freddie Mitchell. Plaxico Burress, T.O., Roy Williams, Jason Whitten, Santana Moss, Chris Cooley. That's who Manning, Romo, and Campbell get to play catch with. The one season Donovan had T.O. YOU WENT TO THE SUPERBOWL DUMB ASS. Do the fucking math. Donovan your a better than me , because Favre, Peyton, and Brady wouldn't put up with the bullshit. Andy Reid bitch ass has you throwing the ball 50 times a game. Who does he talk too about his offensive game plans Mike Martz? Andy Reid should be drug tested, because he is fucking delusional. Tell his dumb ass that's not Fitzgerald and Bouldin your throwing too. I can't even name Donovan's fucking receivers outside of Westbrook. Raven's fans even sympathize with the parts McNabb has to work with. One last thing Bitch. I like the way you threw that game yesterday, by putting that buffoon in that was your backup. You must have had a lot of money riding on that shit. If Donovan was struggling what the fuck was that bitch going to do. Notice I don't even bother using his real name I just call him a Bitch, because well he just is. Andy Reid eat a dick up till you hick up. Donovan you can play for me anytime as long as the game doesn't go into Overtime. Remember there is a such thing as a tie. Just joking Donovan.
• Memo to the Dolphins and the 49ers: DON'T BELIEVE THE HYPE IT'S A SEQUEL. The demise of Moss and T.O. was greatly exaggerated. Both of these teams single covered these guys and paid dearly. T.O. repeatedly burned Nate Clemens(70 million dollar man). I guess in this recession 70 million ain't what it used to be and Moss toyed with the Dolphins corners. T.O. 213 yards receiving and Moss 125 yards receiving and 3 touchdowns. With the game on the line only Steve Smith can be mentioned with these two.
• The Jets 8-3 are the best team in the AFC. Say it ain't so. They whupped the Titans fraudulent asses in their building. I'm going to say it again Brett actually makes his teammates better. With Brady out it could be NEW YORK AGAINST NEW YORK in the Super Bowl
• If it wasn't for bad luck Norv wouldn't have any at all. The only thing he hasn't loss yet is his dignity and he will probably loose that at the end of the year. One more defeat in the last minute of a game, I think Doctor Phill's phone will be ringing a lot this week. How do you keep your head up and continue playing after these kind of losses. I personally wouldn't think any less of you if you said enough of this bullshit and just quit.
• Matt Cassel is going to make a lot of money next year, but buyers be ware. Ever heard of Scott Mitchell or Jeff Blake. These guys were one year wonders who never amounted to anything. Whoever gets Cassel remember this. You won't have that protective agency called the Patriots front line blocking for him and protecting his ass for him. They are the only line in football that doesn't hold ,falsetart , or jump offside. No one including Bush has this kind of protection watching his back. And when you sign him remember you don't get Bellicheck or Moss. It's not a motherfucking package deal. So it is not going to look the same. Don't buy that analog TV looking for a HD picture. You will be sorry.
• Ed Reed is a bad motherfucker. Neck injury or not he is the best play making safety in the league. When he picks off a pass he is always thinking to score. That shit must be in his con tract, because if you are about to tackle him he will just lateral it to another teammate and start blocking for him. 108 yard return that's just sick.
• PACMAN JONES IS A FUCKING BUFFOON, THAT SHOULD NOT BE WEARING COWBOY GEAR. IN THE HISTORY OF SPORTS THERE HAVE ONLY BEEN TWO OTHER BUFFOONS THAT I KNOW OF WHO ARE ON HIS LEVEL. ONE BEING ISIAH RIDER. IN CASE YOU DON'T KNOW RIDER PLAYED FOR THE TIMBERWOLVES, THE BLAZERS, THE HAWKS, AND HE HAD A CUP OF COFFEE AND GOT A RING WITH THE LAKERS. HE HAD MORE MONEY THAN ANY OF US WILL EVER SEE IN OUR LIFETIME. SO I GUESS YOUR SAYING TO YOURSELF WHAT MAKES HIM A BUFFOON. HE BELIEVED IN KEEPING IT REAL. REAL DUMB THAT IS. RIDER GOT ARRESTED FOR USING ILLEGAL CELL PHONES. THIS MOTHERFUCKER MILLIONAIRE STILL THOUGHT HE WAS BROKE AND OUT ON THE CORNER HUSTLING. HE COULD HAVE BOUGHT SPRINT WITH HIS SALARY INSTEAD HE CONTINUED TO SELL DRUGS AND LIVE THAT LIFESTYLE THAT'S WHY HE IS A BUFFOON. THE OTHER BUFFOON IS LATRELL SPREWELL. YOU KNOW HIM BEST FOR HIS STARRING ROLE IN IS LATRELL REALLY GOING TO HAVE TO CHOKE A BITCH. HE CHOKED HIS COACH BECAUSE HE YELLED AT HIM IN PRACTICE. THAT'S NOT EVEN WHY HE IS A BUFFOON. THIS MOTHERFUCKER HAD THE AUDACITY TO TELL HIS GM THAT HE COULDN'T FEED HIS FAMILY WITH THAT 7 MILLION DOLLAR A YEAR CONTRACT THEY WERE OFFERING HIM. I WOULD LAUGH AT THAT SHIT EXCEPT HE WAS FUCKING FOR REAL. ALL I WANT TO KNOW IS WHAT THE FUCK WAS HE FEEDING HIS FAMILY AND NOW HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE OUT THERE IN SOCIETY RESPECTED BUT BROKE THAN A SUMBITCH. PACMAN, RIDER, SPREWELL BUFFOONS FOR LIFE!
• Is it just me or does the Sunday night game seem more exciting than the Monday night game. When I was growing up MNF was the place to be, but now it seems like Sunday night is the more happening game.
• THE HIGH FIVE
• 1) NY GIANTS 10-1
• 2) NY JETS 8-3
• 3) TENNESSEE TITANS 10-1
• 4) PITTSBURGH STEELERS 8-3
• 5) TAMPA BAY BUCS 8-3
• MVP BRETT FAVRE
• GAME BALLS GO TO: RANDY MOSS,MATT CASSEL,T.O., ED REED,TONY ROMO,MICHAEL TURNER,CLINTON PORTIS AND ADAM VINATIERA
• I'm out like Andy Reid's word.

THE TRUE MVP

• As I sit here and reflect on another week gone by in the NFL, I here talk about Kurt Warner being MVP after the first eleven weeks of the season. How do you define MVP? Is it the person with the best numbers, is it the player with the most talent, is it the player who means the most to his team or is it the player who makes his team better.
• If you answered all of the above I couldn't blame you.
• When I hear MVP talk I never hear this player mentioned yet he is the most vocal, charismatic, not to mention most talented player in the league period. For twelve years he has anchored one of the best defensive teams in NFL history in the Baltimore Ravens. He has revolutionized the position of Middle Linebacker and made many an offensive coordinator loose sleep over game planning for him.
• The stats speak for themselves. Sugar Ray has appeared in nine Pro Bowls and been named an ALL-PRO seven times. He won Defensive Player of the Year in 2000and 2003 and; he was the sixth player to win the award multiple times. He was the first linebacker to win the Superbowl MVP Award since 1971, and the first on a winning team. At the conclusion of the 2007 season Lewis had career totals of 1520 tackles, 1367 solo tackles, 11 forced fumbles, 90 passes defended,83 tackles for losses,30 sacks,13 fumble recoveries,25 interceptions,and two touchdowns in 162 games. Lewis has led the NFL in tackles five times(1997,1999,2001,2003,and 2004). In 2003 Lewis led all linebackers in interceptions with 6, a total matching the All-Time record for middle linebackers in a season. Lewis was named first team ALL-PRO in 1999,2000,2001,2003, and 2004 and 2nd team ALL-PRO in 1997 and 1998. Under his watch the Ravens did not allow a single 100 yard rusher in 51 consecutive games from 1998-2001.
• Lewis has gained a reputation as a complete linebacker and a student of the game. He has the up most respect for the game and his play week in and week out shows.
• He is one of a handful of players that I have witnessed that actually make their teammates better. I don't like dick riding anybody, but when I watch Ray play it's like looking at JORDAN, MAGIC OR KOBE. I would pay just to watch him play on Defense. No other player in the history of the game has had that impact on me other than Prime Time himself Neon Deon Sanders.
• Ray Lewis has help make playing Defense fashionable. Teams around the league have modeled themselves after his play and defense and a running game are copied by a lot of teams as a formula for winning. Shawne Merriman and a hosts of other linebackers around the league are copying his style and hope to be like him when they grow up.
• You can put Ray Lewis on the Cincinnati Bengals and all of a sudden they would be a top 10 defense. He inspires and intimidates teammates all the while making them raise their level of play. 4TH and 1 game on the line who do you want running your defense? During my lifetime only Ronnie Lott, Lawrence Taylor, Reggie White, and Charles Haley could be mentioned with Ray Lewis. These guys could take average defenses and make them great. Double and triple teams me nothing to these guys when it came time to make a play they did.
• We have had one Icon in Cal Ripken now get ready for the second in Ray Lewis. Appreciate him Baltimore, because when he is gone their is know replacing him. Twelve years and know signs of slowing down. I believe he could play forever. Their are a lot of overpaid players in the league he is not one of them. If Deangelo Hall is worth 70 million, How much is Sugar Ray worth? You do the math.
• What time is it? Any dogs in the house? learn to love it because it is the best thing going today?
• I'M OUT LIKE THE DEADSKINS!

POUND FOR POUND THE GREATEST OF ALL TIME

• In my estimation pound for pound Roy Jones Jr. is the greatest fighter I've ever seen in my lifetime. I know your saying what about Ali? His best fights were before my time and I witnessed him at the end of his career.The one fight I do remember seeing was Ali getting his ass whupped by that toothless Leon Spinks. He know doubt has a place in the GREATEST OF ALL TIME WING in the Hall of Fame, but this is about Roy.
• Before I tell you why he is the greatest, I am going to talk about the fight he had the other night with Joe Calzaghe. Yeah that Joe Calzaghe. The man who eight years ago Roy would have destroyed. Joe Calzaghe is a 36 year old white boy from Wales who happens to be undefeated at 45-0 while defeating other no talent white boys for the past 15 years. Calzaghe's only claim to fame was beating a 43 year old Bernard Hopkins. Calzaghe sounds to me like someone who beats up on boxers who are past their prime and pads his record with these victories. I heard he was trying to line up a big money fight with Thomas Hearns next. In the first round Saturday night Roy turned back the clock and knocked Calzaghe on his Wales ass. After that Roy basically got his ass beat, but that's besides the point. For five rounds Roy looked good and the fight was competitive. He ran out of gas after that and he got pummeled. Roy learned a tuff lesson in that you can't beat father time. Calzaghe's fists time and time again honed in on it's target, leaving Jones resembling a tired old man desperately missing his full vision. And sadly, after the fifth defeat of his Hall of Fame career, Jones may have regained his clarity of sight but is still lacking in his clarity of thought. Roy was only awarded one round on all three judges scorecards making it painfully obvious he should take the smart option and hang it up for good.
• During the mid to late 90's Jones was the sports most complete boxer, with his dominance complete to the point of boredom. The prospect of Roy Jones losing was laughable. Yet some of those superhuman efforts are being replaced with these very mortal ones.
• Five years ago to this day Jones won his last meaningful fight, a majority decision over Antonio Tarver. He lost three straight fights after that twice to Tarver and once to bitch ass Glen Johnson, before beating over the hill Felix Trinidad.
• In a five year period that could be considered his prime Jones went 16-1 with his only loss coming via DQ. He avenged that loss with a first round knockout in the rematch. During this time frame he defeated nine current or former world champions and three men who either already are in the Hall of Fame or will be when they become eligible. Jones was more dominant in his sport in that time frame than Tiger Woods was in his right now, because Tiger actually looses every now and then. If Tiger would have met Calzaghe in 2000 it is safe to assume he would have fucked him up.
• James Toney a sure first ballot Hall of Famer the minutes he is eligible, was pound for pound the best fighter in the world when Jones beat him at the MGM in Las Vegas on Nov 18,1994. Jones won 30 of 36 scored rounds in a stunning and beautiful display of boxing ability. Pugilism at it's finest.
• Mike McCallum a Hall of Famer was Jones next victim in Tampa, Fla. on Nov. 22,1996. They fought for the WBC Light Heavyweight title. Jones won every round on the judges scorecard including a 10-8 round in which he didn't even knock him down. That's dominance people.
• On April 25,1998 Jones stopped Virgil Hill with a devastating shot to the ribs so fierce that they are still showing it on highlight reels on the game's best knockouts. Virgil Hill to this day can't eat solid food and he says it hurts when he coughs. He can't even bend over to tie his shoe laces. Jones won the first three rounds before knocking Hill out in the 4th.
• So lets see against three future Hall of Famers , Jones went 3-0 and won 70 of 76 rounds. He won 92.1 percent of his rounds against Hall of Fame fighters. Pugilism dammit. There is no boxer in recent history that has dominated that type of competition quite that way.
• In 1993, Jones routed Bernard Hopkins, another future Hall of Famer, winning 24 of 36 scored rounds from him despite fighting with a broken hand. A broken hand godammit. Play your PS3 or XBOX system with a broken hand people. IMPOSSIBLE. After the first round he switched to a southpaw and still won against one of the best of all time.
• In his prime Jones had no equal. He was so superior that not even the best fighters in the world could come close to beating him. And as great as Calzaghe has been he would have never come close to being able to handle Jones in his prime.
• Jones in his prime would cross his hands behind his back, stick out his chin and dare his opponents to hit him. He had the juice to finish you with either hand and knock you out with a single blow. His footwork was second to none and his hand speed was frightening. Jones was the only fighter in history to go a full round and not get hit with a punch according to official numbers. During that time frame the only things I was sure about was death,taxes,my sexuality, and Roy Jones winning.
• Roy is pound for pound the best in the history of the game. To me Jones retired long ago, but his legacy in the sport still means something. He needs to have the conviction and sense to bring things to a natural end, instead of chasing past glories that will never return.
• I will leave you with this quote from Roy Jones Jr. "WHEN I LOOK INTO THE MIRROR, IT LOOKS LIKE IT'S 115 PERCENT(OF WHAT I USED TO BE),"JONES SAID. "I'M LIKE , WOW, HOW YOU DO I KEEP GETTING BETTER LOOKING AS I GET OLDER... I'M PRETTY CLOSE TO 100 PERCENT , TRUST ME, PRETTY CLOSE. GO AHEAD AND BET AGAINST ME. YOU WILL GO HOME SATURDAY NIGHT CRYING SAYING: ROY,ROY! I DONE LOST ALL MY MONEY., I SHOULD HAVE LISTENED TO YOU. I SHOULDN'T, HAVE BET AGAINST YOU.
• ROY I KNOW I NEVER WILL!
• I'M OUT LIKE TRACY McGRADY, RON ARTEST AND THOSE BITCH ASS ROCKETS AGAINST THE LAKERS.